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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:28:01 AM

Title: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:28:01 AM
on the right side of the back of my neck kind of behind my ear there is a swollen gland.  when I move it hurts on that side of my head (kind of back/right side above that gland).  This may not be an actual gland but that's what I call it.  About a marble sized feeling bump that you have to press on my neck right below my skull to feel.  I can't breath really well but my nasal passages are clear.  I have a non-dry cough but it's more because of upper trachial irritation imo.  my personal diagnosis?  cancer of the gland behind my ear.  backup diagnosis?  some sort of bizzare parasite like on that show where people went to africa and came back and their insides are getting eaten by bugs/worms. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on May 29, 2012, 08:31:44 AM
That sounds like lymphoma to me. You had better get that looked at.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Gooch on May 29, 2012, 08:32:16 AM
:sdeek: Sounds like Herpes.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on May 29, 2012, 08:33:03 AM
sebaceous cyst
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Saulbadguy on May 29, 2012, 08:33:12 AM
Goiter.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 08:33:59 AM
Marfan
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:34:18 AM
That sounds like lymphoma to me. You had better get that looked at.

that's my thought as well.  been nice knowing you guys.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:35:04 AM
sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this. also, this looks gross. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 'taterblast on May 29, 2012, 08:40:16 AM
t's and p's, sd.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:40:53 AM
t's and p's, sd.

thanks bro
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: _33 on May 29, 2012, 08:42:58 AM
Do you have an infection in your teeth?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: XocolateThundarr on May 29, 2012, 08:43:50 AM
Allergies with a pulled muscle in your neck.

 Would you care to pay for this diagnosis with Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:44:25 AM
Do you have an infection in your teeth?

don't think so.  just had my semi-annual checkup like a week ago and everything looked good and the xrays were good and junk.  teeth and gums feel ok. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:45:00 AM
Allergies with a pulled muscle in your neck.

 Would you care to pay for this diagnosis with Visa, Mastercard, or American Express?

I would use my health savings account if this were correct.  unfortunately, it's not. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on May 29, 2012, 08:48:33 AM
sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this.

are you sure?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:49:34 AM
sebaceous cyst

googled this. it's not this.

are you sure?

yeah
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dugout DickStone on May 29, 2012, 08:50:27 AM
Some messed up hawaiian illness.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 08:50:54 AM
Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:58:09 AM
Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 08:58:09 AM
my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 08:58:51 AM
my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.

no, it's a much smaller lump.  I've seen trim's ball jar in pictures.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 09:05:13 AM
Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.

your questions seem pretty Doctor'y.  Is it cancer dub?  just give it to me straight.  I can take it. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 09:06:42 AM
my guess is that trim's nut somehow got relocated into the back of your neck.

no, it's a much smaller lump.  I've seen trim's ball jar in pictures.

It doesn't completely fill the jar.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 09:07:51 AM
Is the lump soft or hard?  Is it movable? Have you noticed any change in size?

feels pretty hard but it's kind of deep under my skin.  doesn't seem to move at all.  size is bigger than before when I didn't know it was there.  probably wouldn't know now if my head didn't hurt and I didn't start probing around.

I would go have it checked out.  You could wait a week and see if it changes in size, tenderness (You want decrease in both), notice any weight loss.  It's probably just a swollen node but if it's hard and fixed it's probably a good idea to get it checked out.  Better to be safe than sorry.  This is not a medical opinion and I'd see someone who actually can see/feel what you are describing.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 09:10:13 AM
OH GOD IT'S rough ridin' CANCER ISN'T IT DUB!?  I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID I COULD TAKE IT.  TAKE SOMEONE ELSE GOD. 

 :sdeek: :runaway:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: ChiComCat on May 29, 2012, 09:12:24 AM
Necrotizing fasciitis caused by the flesh-devouring bacteria Aeromonas hydrophila
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Saulbadguy on May 29, 2012, 09:17:24 AM
its part of your skull, remove it asap
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 09:18:46 AM
goEMAW team, when I'm gone please transfer my ownership interest and mod privilages to Winters.  While I saw some graduation pics of him not wearing a KState shirt I still think he's got the fire. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Lynchmobrules on May 29, 2012, 09:20:33 AM
I am not a doctor, but I have a cyst on my left wrist that sounds kind of like this.  It will hurt when I move my hand in certain directions, but nothing too serious. I have been to the doctor about this and he said it is not a big deal until it starts to cause a lot of discomfort (won't be until I'm in my 40s or 50s).  I would get it checked out just to be safe.

T's & P's.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: AppleJack on May 29, 2012, 09:20:57 AM
its just allergies, steve.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on May 29, 2012, 09:25:38 AM
Please god, not SD!!!!  :ohno: :cry:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 09:26:00 AM
its just allergies, steve.

oh boy, here we go.  i love this response.  yup, just allergies.  your run of the mill allergies that cause your neck to grow lumps. 
i imagine your trip to the doctor go like this-

what is wrong with you applejack? 
oh well, i was skiing and my leg snapped in two pieces and the bone is sticking out.  i have allergies.
ok, well yup, that's allergies alright.  just take a claritin and things will clear up for you v quickly.
sure thing doc.  will do.

sad.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Saulbadguy on May 29, 2012, 09:26:15 AM
commence drilling a hole in the back of your skull asap
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: ChiComCat on May 29, 2012, 09:29:02 AM
If my diagnosis is correct, and it is, you best start chopping off limbs.  You're already behind this thing and time is limbs at this point.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 09:29:41 AM
I am not a doctor, but I have a cyst on my left wrist that sounds kind of like this.  It will hurt when I move my hand in certain directions, but nothing too serious. I have been to the doctor about this and he said it is not a big deal until it starts to cause a lot of discomfort (won't be until I'm in my 40s or 50s).  I would get it checked out just to be safe.

T's & P's.

That sounds most likely like a ganglion cyst.  Different kind of thing but isn't a problem unless it affects a nerve or blood vessel, then it needs to be removed.  They used to be called "bible bumps" back in the day because that was the biggest book people had and they would slam them down on people's wrists to break up the cyst and have it decrease (not recommended because you can hurt yourself and they have a high chance of coming back.)
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 09:32:28 AM
You will get lots of expenses to write off on your taxes.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Lynchmobrules on May 29, 2012, 09:40:20 AM
I am not a doctor, but I have a cyst on my left wrist that sounds kind of like this.  It will hurt when I move my hand in certain directions, but nothing too serious. I have been to the doctor about this and he said it is not a big deal until it starts to cause a lot of discomfort (won't be until I'm in my 40s or 50s).  I would get it checked out just to be safe.

T's & P's.

That sounds most likely like a ganglion cyst.  Different kind of thing but isn't a problem unless it affects a nerve or blood vessel, then it needs to be removed.  They used to be called "bible bumps" back in the day because that was the biggest book people had and they would slam them down on people's wrists to break up the cyst and have it decrease (not recommended because you can hurt yourself and they have a high chance of coming back.)

That sounds like what the doctor called it.  He was able to drain some of the fluid out of it. This was recommended to me by a friend who saw his 3rd grade teacher do this to a girl in his class.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 09:42:20 AM
I am not a doctor, but I have a cyst on my left wrist that sounds kind of like this.  It will hurt when I move my hand in certain directions, but nothing too serious. I have been to the doctor about this and he said it is not a big deal until it starts to cause a lot of discomfort (won't be until I'm in my 40s or 50s).  I would get it checked out just to be safe.

T's & P's.

That sounds most likely like a ganglion cyst.  Different kind of thing but isn't a problem unless it affects a nerve or blood vessel, then it needs to be removed.  They used to be called "bible bumps" back in the day because that was the biggest book people had and they would slam them down on people's wrists to break up the cyst and have it decrease (not recommended because you can hurt yourself and they have a high chance of coming back.)

That sounds like what the doctor called it.  He was able to drain some of the fluid out of it. This was recommended to me by a friend who saw his 3rd grade teacher do this to a girl in his class.

Yeah, they are quite common actually.  They vary a lot in size and usually don't cause any problems but occasionally they can.  They can spontaneously go away too.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: AppleJack on May 29, 2012, 09:45:07 AM
its just allergies, steve.

oh boy, here we go.  i love this response.  yup, just allergies.  your run of the mill allergies that cause your neck to grow lumps. 
i imagine your trip to the doctor go like this-

what is wrong with you applejack? 
oh well, i was skiing and my leg snapped in two pieces and the bone is sticking out.  i have allergies.
ok, well yup, that's allergies alright.  just take a claritin and things will clear up for you v quickly.
sure thing doc.  will do.

sad.

you speak poison with two tongues.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on May 29, 2012, 09:45:43 AM
sd- is this thing visible? can you take a pic and post it?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: willie on May 29, 2012, 09:49:25 AM
I once had a similar situation with similar symptons.  It turned out it was a spider bite behind my right ear.  Must have happened while I was sleeping  :ohno:.  Thankfully it wasn't the flesh eating variety, but a spider bite none the less.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 09:56:06 AM
sd- is this thing visible? can you take a pic and post it?

He said it was kind of deep and had to probe around for it so I'm guessing it's not.  Spider bites you should be able to see the two puncture marks.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on May 29, 2012, 09:59:45 AM
Let's just hope it's a spider bite and not cancer, unless steve dave got bit by one of the fiddlebacks at Beantown Cat's office. I could only imagine what that kind of wound would look like, and well, let's just say steve dave wouldn't have to dress up for Halloween anymore if that's what happened. :frown:

If I were you, I would go see a doctor today.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 10:02:09 AM
sd- is this thing visible? can you take a pic and post it?

He said it was kind of deep and had to probe around for it so I'm guessing it's not.  Spider bites you should be able to see the two puncture marks.

unless it was a toothless spider bite.  wow, someone just got dominated and has taken over the Top Doc role in this thread sorry dub but you had that facial coming.

this lump could be the death of some posters on this board.  facials are so easy to deliver like the one i just delivered to dub.  oh man.  i can't stop delivering massive facials when someone lobs one down the middle of the plate like that.  i just tee off.


Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: OK_Cat on May 29, 2012, 10:02:22 AM
on the right side of the back of my neck kind of behind my ear there is a swollen gland.  when I move it hurts on that side of my head (kind of back/right side above that gland).  This may not be an actual gland but that's what I call it.  About a marble sized feeling bump that you have to press on my neck right below my skull to feel.  I can't breath really well but my nasal passages are clear.  I have a non-dry cough but it's more because of upper trachial irritation imo.  my personal diagnosis?  cancer of the gland behind my ear.  backup diagnosis?  some sort of bizzare parasite like on that show where people went to africa and came back and their insides are getting eaten by bugs/worms.

The good news:  I had this exact same thing about a month ago, and it cleared up after taking some antibiotics.  I'm also still alive.

The bad news:  It's only been a month.  I could drop dead at any second, steve dave.  which means that you might, too.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on May 29, 2012, 10:04:28 AM
It would be good to see a doc but I wouldn't fret over anything.  It's most likely an infected lymph node and they will probably just put you on antibiotics and see if that resolves the problem.  They may want some extra imaging or a biopsy based on what they see going on.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: slobber on May 29, 2012, 10:06:19 AM
on the right side of the back of my neck kind of behind my ear there is a swollen gland.  when I move it hurts on that side of my head (kind of back/right side above that gland).  This may not be an actual gland but that's what I call it.  About a marble sized feeling bump that you have to press on my neck right below my skull to feel.  I can't breath really well but my nasal passages are clear.  I have a non-dry cough but it's more because of upper trachial irritation imo.  my personal diagnosis?  cancer of the gland behind my ear.  backup diagnosis?  some sort of bizzare parasite like on that show where people went to africa and came back and their insides are getting eaten by bugs/worms.


The good news:  I had this exact same thing about a month ago, and it cleared up after taking some antibiotics.  I'm also still alive.

The bad news:  It's only been a month.  I could drop dead at any second, steve dave.  which means that you might, too.

Based on this, you have AT LEAST one month to live. Can't say much beyond that.
You seem like a sensible person. Seriously, go see a Dr.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: ChiComCat on May 29, 2012, 10:07:04 AM
If SD goes, this board is down to like 12 posters in a month.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 10:08:37 AM
If SD goes, this board is down to like 12 posters in a month.

hopefully none of them are named chicat.  boom, another facial delivered.  i think my keyboard is on autopilot because i wasn't even touching the keys when that one was delivered.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 10:09:35 AM
Quote
Last Active: Today at 09:39:46 AM

 :ohno:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 10:10:31 AM
at this point i don't even care who i'm giving facials to.  at this point it's impossible to stop the Facial Deliverance Machine 2012.

post and get tee'd off on.  :lol:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 10:11:00 AM
sd- is this thing visible? can you take a pic and post it?

not visable
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 10:12:51 AM
How long has it been there? 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 29, 2012, 10:14:13 AM
sd- is this thing visible? can you take a pic and post it?

not visable

hmm, an invisible lump?  see black helicopters follow you to work this morning?
let's just change your name to munchausen syndrome because that's what this is a case of.

facial 1, sd's invisible lump: 0
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 29, 2012, 10:14:14 AM
I just noticed it yesterday.  could have been there since anywhere from forever to yesterday.

I haven't taken an antibiotic sine I had my wisdom teeth out like 15 years ago. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: ChiComCat on May 29, 2012, 10:16:37 AM
If SD goes, this board is down to like 12 posters in a month.

hopefully none of them are named chicat.  boom, another facial delivered.  i think my keyboard is on autopilot because i wasn't even touching the keys when that one was delivered.

:comeatme:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 10:17:32 AM
I just noticed it yesterday.  could have been there since anywhere from forever to yesterday.

Oh man, the doc's gonna want to know that.  I didn't know my start date either, just that it hurt after pak'n too hard post-59-55.  I called past girls to get their take on whether they'd observed it to narrow down my timeline but that doesn't sound feasible in your scenario.

Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Gooch on May 29, 2012, 10:54:09 AM
I bet Fanning starts to hit on Mrs. Dave before SD is even dead.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: ChiComCat on May 29, 2012, 10:55:23 AM
I bet Fanning starts to hit on Mrs. Dave before SD is even dead.

You're assuming he hasn't started already
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on May 29, 2012, 10:55:53 AM
 :sdeek: :runaway:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: sys on May 29, 2012, 10:59:44 AM
diagnose steve dave's illness.

god's righteous vengeance.  be more careful what you post about his favorite coach next time.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on May 29, 2012, 12:26:51 PM
I just noticed it yesterday.  could have been there since anywhere from forever to yesterday.

I haven't taken an antibiotic sine I had my wisdom teeth out like 15 years ago.

Hmm... Sounds like a brown recluse bite.

Mods, please merge this thread with the "Spiders" threat. I want everyone to see just what happens when you don't pay attention to spiders. Today its an invisible lump, tomorrow half your face is deteroirated.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dugout DickStone on May 29, 2012, 12:28:23 PM
unborn twin
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 12:29:46 PM
The real question is how many pages will this thread get to before sd's doctor finally registers and posts the diagnosis?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on May 29, 2012, 12:37:00 PM
the adult teeth that you thought you were missing
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Johnny Wichita on May 29, 2012, 12:50:55 PM
Sounds like acne. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: CNS on May 29, 2012, 12:51:01 PM
Squeeze it really hard, like a zit or something.

Title: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: puniraptor on May 29, 2012, 01:16:58 PM
Dnr. Brown recluse.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: hemmy on May 29, 2012, 01:26:46 PM
on the right side of the back of my neck kind of behind my ear there is a swollen gland.  when I move it hurts on that side of my head (kind of back/right side above that gland).  This may not be an actual gland but that's what I call it.  About a marble sized feeling bump that you have to press on my neck right below my skull to feel.  I can't breath really well but my nasal passages are clear.  I have a non-dry cough but it's more because of upper trachial irritation imo.  my personal diagnosis?  cancer of the gland behind my ear.  backup diagnosis?  some sort of bizzare parasite like on that show where people went to africa and came back and their insides are getting eaten by bugs/worms. 

I have been to the doctor for something similar in the past. They did blood tests and an ultrasound and some other goodies, and said it was a viral infection. It went away after awhile on its own. I would give it a week or so then go see the doctor if you aren't healed.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: slobber on May 29, 2012, 03:00:42 PM
SD- I'd print this entire thread off and give it to your wife so after you die, she can sue the crap out of everyone that said not to worry about it. GO TO THE DOCTOR!!!! (<<<I am now on the record twice as being a go to the Dr. guy.)
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr Rick Daris on May 29, 2012, 03:02:32 PM
epidermal cyst. nothing to worry about unless it gets bigger/painful. can be removed via simple surgery.

you're gonna make it, SD.  :pbj:

i already suggested this on the first page. sd denied multiple times that this could be it.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: OK_Cat on May 29, 2012, 03:24:50 PM
SARS
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: yoga-like_abana on May 29, 2012, 03:55:00 PM
lymph node, my left one always enlarges when i get sick or am getting sick.. sometimes it hurts..


but yours sounds like you are turning into Frankenstein
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: OK_Cat on May 29, 2012, 04:03:22 PM
monkey pox
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: wetwillie on May 29, 2012, 05:38:46 PM
:lol:  <---------- Steve Dave's concierge doctor and Steve Dave as they read the unwashed @ goEMAW diagnose
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: CHONGS on May 29, 2012, 05:52:29 PM
I know what it is.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dr.Spaceman on May 29, 2012, 06:22:47 PM
dub sounds pretty doctor-y. I agree with him. (upper respiratory infection with lymphadenopathy)  :nerd:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: I_have_purplewood on May 29, 2012, 07:04:40 PM
Has anyone else noticed how many people have "had the same thing"?   :dunno: (ftp://:dunno:)  I would have said sickle cell anemia myself but now not so sure.  :bwpopcorn: (ftp://:bwpopcorn:)
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Stevesie60 on May 29, 2012, 07:06:41 PM
AIDS
Title: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: puniraptor on May 29, 2012, 07:18:10 PM
Please wear a bomber hat when in public so there is no chance of me seeing your brown recluse herp cancer mono cyst and getting grossed out.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Winters on May 29, 2012, 07:21:04 PM
Chickenpox.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: SwiftCat on May 29, 2012, 10:11:18 PM
I've had two or three of these. Medical term is "lump". Completely harmless, you are just imagining the pain because you are worried.
Title: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Pete on May 29, 2012, 10:18:30 PM
If I were Steve Dave, I'd be buying one of those Live Strong bracelets, pronto.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Trim on May 29, 2012, 10:34:39 PM
Tracking device?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: WildcatNkilt on May 29, 2012, 10:41:27 PM
Poorly installed voice box.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: GoodForAnother on May 30, 2012, 09:06:53 AM
my diagnosis?  you are in too good of shape.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on May 30, 2012, 09:16:14 AM
UPDATE!

feeling better today.  gland no longer swollen as much and doesn't hurt.  still kind of coughing but not as much.  not as tired.  I may beat this cancer on my own fellas.  just like lance armstrong. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Mr Bread on May 30, 2012, 09:18:24 AM
AIDS

Yup.  Clearcut case of good old fashioned neck AIDS if I'm not mistaken.  If I am, then it's definitely a nuchal pregnancy.  Either way, SD needs to stop being such a dirty slut. 
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: CNS on May 30, 2012, 09:19:50 AM
Lance had the help of a bunch of steroids and hemoglobin increasing stuff. 

All I am saying is that if the Lance plan is your plan, you should probably pick some of that stuff up.  Also, get off the elliptical and get on a bike.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dugout DickStone on May 30, 2012, 09:37:48 AM
Should look into that German blood doping stuff.  I would if I were in your shoes.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 30, 2012, 11:55:29 AM
Should look into that German blood doping stuff.  I would if I were in your shoes.

i've been using it for the last year as part of my MMA training regime and the results have been unparalleled, would highly recommend
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Frankenklein on May 30, 2012, 01:08:45 PM
    It`s most likely your EMAW gland.A friend of mine has a hate bubble on his forehead that grows when he gets made and one time another friends 4 wheelin gland exploded all over the inside of my 4x4 when I took him for a ride up a really steep hill.When we stomp the piss out of OU       
this year your gland might explode.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Ghost of Stan Parrish on May 30, 2012, 05:13:42 PM
    It`s most likely your EMAW gland.A friend of mine has a hate bubble on his forehead that grows when he gets made and one time another friends 4 wheelin gland exploded all over the inside of my 4x4 when I took him for a ride up a really steep hill.When we stomp the piss out of OU       
this year your gland might explode.

 :users:  I vote for this.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Rams on May 30, 2012, 10:18:09 PM
UPDATE!

feeling better today.  gland no longer swollen as much and doesn't hurt.  still kind of coughing but not as much.  not as tired.  I may beat this cancer on my own fellas.  just like lance armstrong.

not gonna lie.  was looking forward to a more climactic end to this thread.  :frown:

but 'grats or whatever I guess.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: SwiftCat on May 31, 2012, 06:43:56 PM
UPDATE!

feeling better today.  gland no longer swollen as much and doesn't hurt.  still kind of coughing but not as much.  not as tired.  I may beat this cancer on my own fellas.  just like lance armstrong.

 :eye:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 0.42 on May 31, 2012, 08:48:50 PM
my throat's all itchy and stuff :runaway:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 31, 2012, 09:11:55 PM
my throat's all itchy and stuff :runaway:

i bet you have a frog in your throat
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 0.42 on May 31, 2012, 09:12:57 PM
my throat's all itchy and stuff :runaway:

i bet you have a frog in your throat

probably, but is it one of the cute ones or is it a poison dart frog :sdeek:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: pissclams on May 31, 2012, 10:04:17 PM
if it was a poison dart frog a) you'd already be dead but b) is there a better looking frog on the market right now? no way.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 0.42 on May 31, 2012, 11:03:22 PM
if it was a poison dart frog a) you'd already be dead but b) is there a better looking frog on the market right now? no way.

man if it was a poison dart frog i could've had so much hipster cred in hell
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Bloodfart on June 01, 2012, 12:07:37 AM
if it was a poison dart frog a) you'd already be dead but b) is there a better looking frog on the market right now? no way.

man if it was a poison dart frog i could've had so much hipster cred in hell

No denied poisonous frogs are gay, which equals every condemed soul raping you in eternal fire of hell.   :dunno:
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: 0.42 on June 01, 2012, 12:57:38 AM
i've decided that skeptical frog is in my throat, because right now when i talk it sounds like you should probably rethink what you're telling me (or thinking about telling me)

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.nationalgeographic.com%2Fwpf%2Fmedia-live%2Fphotos%2F000%2F004%2Fcache%2Famazon-horned-frog_443_600x450.jpg&hash=cd57b7eccd1bcc482f4f7c9f135ad0e30de7a676)
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: steve dave on June 01, 2012, 01:51:14 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: EllToPay on June 01, 2012, 02:54:32 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?

popsicles.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: slobber on June 01, 2012, 02:56:13 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?

popsicles.
I have never had popsicles. Sounds awful. Is it deadly?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: bakerman on June 01, 2012, 02:57:48 PM
wasn't it popsicles in conjunction with red(?) gatorade that cured everything?
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on June 01, 2012, 03:33:09 PM
When I played high school football, the booster club gave us popsicles at the end of practice sometimes. Let me tell you, there is nothing better than a popsicle after you have been sweating your ass off for 2.5 hours.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep on June 01, 2012, 05:51:58 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?

Mucinex-D is probably the greatest thing ever invented. Take some vitamin C, should help speed up the process. Are you sure you don't have allergies? They're pretty bad this year...  :frown:


Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Kat Kid on June 01, 2012, 07:41:09 PM
Buy some limes.  Squeeze a 4th out in the biggest mug you have then add ice water.  repeat.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Dub on June 02, 2012, 05:41:28 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?

Unfortunately, coughs take time.  Best way to speed up the process is to make sure there are no setbacks.  Make sure you stay away from irritants (don't know whether you smoke/work with chemicals/etc).  Allergies can also irritate, as can dry air.  Get a humidifer and sit inside.  Keep doing what your doing with the water.  Best of luck.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: Pete on June 02, 2012, 07:13:25 PM
UPDATE:  feel good. no swollen glands.  no headache.  no nasal congestion.  but, I now have a cough that won't go away.  so, MDs in this thread, what do I get a post sickness cough to go away?  I'm taking mucinex-d in the morning and nyquil at night.  I'm drinking tons of water.  what else should I do?  or, alternatively, has my cancer moved to my lungs?

Unfortunately, coughs take time.  Best way to speed up the process is to make sure there are no setbacks.  Make sure you stay away from irritants (don't know whether you smoke/work with chemicals/etc).  Allergies can also irritate, as can dry air.  Get a humidifer and sit inside.  Keep doing what your doing with the water.  Best of luck.

Is marijuana an irritant?  Steve is addicted to to it.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: sys on June 02, 2012, 11:19:14 PM
get right with god, steve dave.
Title: Re: diagnose steve dave's illness
Post by: kim carnes on June 03, 2012, 01:38:25 AM
get right with god, steve dave.
+1 sys