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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: Kat Kid on July 07, 2011, 10:53:16 AM

Title: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 07, 2011, 10:53:16 AM
So there you are.  You are up earlier than you wanted to be and it is time to drop the wife off at the airport, yet there you are wrapped in both down comforters with a dachshund in your arms.

She knows there must be some new tact.  "I made coffee," she coos.  You lift your head and swivel your hips to move from parallel to perpendicular.

As she hands the cup to you in the kitchen your olfactory glands are not fully fired up, but something is amiss.  You take the first pull and instead of letting out an "ahhh" you frown and look in the cup and up at her.

Hazelnut.

Is this product coffee?  Should there have been a heads up?  Was this simply the kind of Faustian bargain inevitable to the kind of person that negotiates the timeliness of their consciousness with their spouse in the morning?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 07, 2011, 11:02:37 AM
unforgivable
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 07, 2011, 11:02:44 AM
In order to make flavored coffee, the roaster has to burn the crap out of the beans in order to get the coffee flavor out. Think of it as a very well done burger. Then they add chemicals to it (some of which are found in anti-freeze) in order to sweeten it and give it flavor.

No. I don't touch the stuff.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 07, 2011, 11:05:35 AM
In order to make flavored coffee, the roaster has to burn the crap out of the beans in order to get the coffee flavor out. Think of it as a very well done burger. Then they add chemicals to it (some of which are found in anti-freeze) in order to sweeten it and give it flavor.

No. I don't touch the stuff.

My dog would drink the crap out of antifreeze if I would let him. Maybe Tortuga should just give the hazelnut coffee to his dachsund.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: MeatSauce on July 07, 2011, 11:13:29 AM
There was a Hazelnut Coup d'etat at the MeatSauce home recently.  Horrifying morning.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 07, 2011, 11:21:16 AM
Yeah, not a fan of the flavored coffee. It tastes like watered down coffee but smells pretty good.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: EllToPay on July 07, 2011, 11:22:37 AM
The only flavored coffee I drink is the Hazelnut at Panera Bread. It's pretty delish.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stupid Fitz on July 07, 2011, 11:43:03 AM
Mrs. SF adds fat free vanilla creamer to her coffee.  I hate even the smell of it.  Hazelnut is worse.  You should have smelled it way before it hit your mouth.  Mrs. Tortuga should pay dearly for this act of bait and switch though. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 07, 2011, 11:44:03 AM
She's gone for work for a week and a half.  Parting shot.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stupid Fitz on July 07, 2011, 11:50:13 AM
She's gone for work for a week and a half.  Parting shot.

She has obviously been planning this attack for a while.  I would prepare for divorce papers to be delivered any day now.  You should jump in front of this and divorce her first. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 07, 2011, 11:54:15 AM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 07, 2011, 11:54:42 AM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 07, 2011, 11:55:57 AM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

OMG, YES
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: SkinnyBenny on July 07, 2011, 11:59:36 AM
God, Tortuga is like copious amounts of a fine wine.  Gets better with age, gets me wasted, makes me live in the past and think wistfully of old times, etc.


 :thumbs:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 07, 2011, 12:01:39 PM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:

I know, but IDGAF.  I have other redeeming qualities that more than cancel out my shitty taste in coffee/frappu/latte/caffiene fix.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 07, 2011, 12:04:50 PM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:

I know, but IDGAF.  I have other redeeming qualities that more than cancel out my shitty taste in coffee/frappu/latte/caffiene fix.

Can someone investigate Emo EMAW? Pretty sure he's a squawk.

Sorry EE, but liking Starbuck's is unforgivable.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 07, 2011, 12:09:49 PM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:

I know, but IDGAF.  I have other redeeming qualities that more than cancel out my crapty taste in coffee/frappu/latte/caffiene fix.

Can someone investigate Emo EMAW? Pretty sure he's a squawk.

Sorry EE, but liking Starbuck's is unforgivable.

I'm not a coffee drinker.  I don't like Starbucks, if I go there I usually get a hot chocolate.  I much prefer Panera where I also get a hot chocolate.  But like if we're road tripping or something and we're up early I'll do the frappucino thing.  It makes a nice dueuce too, so that's a plus.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 07, 2011, 12:34:16 PM
coffee is for people with bad genes
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CNS on July 07, 2011, 12:41:21 PM
Agreed on the smells great/tastes bad comment.

Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 07, 2011, 12:44:37 PM
coffee is for people with bad genes

what about smokes?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: AppleJack on July 07, 2011, 12:47:24 PM
I will never understand how you people can sip piping hot coffee. Its like your tongue and upper lip have been burnt so many times that they have perma-blisters on them. You people make me sick to my stomach.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 07, 2011, 01:07:59 PM
I will never understand how you people can sip piping hot coffee. Its like your tongue and upper lip have been burnt so many times that they have perma-blisters on them. You people make me sick to my stomach.
I let it cool off a tad.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: felix rex on July 07, 2011, 01:54:31 PM
Hazelnut and French Vanilla are always the last two varieties to go out of stock in the office. Was embarrassed when I had a guy in for an interview, offered him coffee, then was like "Welp, you're getting vanilla. Sorry about that, dude."

But at least I gave him a heads up.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 07, 2011, 02:00:44 PM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:

I know, but IDGAF.  I have other redeeming qualities that more than cancel out my shitty taste in coffee/frappu/latte/caffiene fix.

Don't worry about it. Frappuccino's are fantastic. I like the strawberry one myself.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: wetwillie on July 07, 2011, 02:05:19 PM
Hazelnut and French Vanilla are always the last two varieties to go out of stock in the office. Was embarrassed when I had a guy in for an interview, offered him coffee, then was like "Welp, you're getting vanilla. Sorry about that, dude."

But at least I gave him a heads up.


This could be turned into an excellent weed out technique for future employee considerations.  Dude takes the vanilla coffee without objection you have yourself an easy way to take him out of the running.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 07, 2011, 02:11:09 PM
I like those Starbuck's Frappuccino's.

 :dubious:

I know, but IDGAF.  I have other redeeming qualities that more than cancel out my crapty taste in coffee/frappu/latte/caffiene fix.

Don't worry about it. Frappuccino's are fantastic. I like the strawberry one myself.

I always go for mocha. I wrote a letter to them in protest when they got rid of the mint chocolate one.  Now they have that around Christmas and I always get a few packs.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: jtksu on July 07, 2011, 02:15:27 PM
eff that, if that dude drinks the vanillas without hesitation, you hire the crap out of him.  Jut think about all the crap you'll be able to make him do in the future.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 07, 2011, 02:16:05 PM
coffee is for people with bad genes

what about smokes?

terrible analogy, even for you.  
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Saulbadguy on July 07, 2011, 02:17:03 PM
coffee is for people with bad genes

what about smokes?

terrible analogy, even for you. 
coffee is for people with good genes
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 07, 2011, 02:26:57 PM
hey guys, i can't wake up because my geneology sucks! pour me a big cup of drugs to rely on since i apparently can't handle it!
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CNS on July 07, 2011, 02:27:21 PM
Enjoy prostate cancer.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stupid Fitz on July 07, 2011, 06:18:04 PM
I will never understand how you people can sip piping hot coffee. Its like your tongue and upper lip have been burnt so many times that they have perma-blisters on them. You people make me sick to my stomach.

Can't, I let mine site forever before drinking it.  Mrs. SF is usually almost done with hers before I start.  She calls me a pussy, but I don't care, it is hot.   :dunno:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: 8manpick on July 07, 2011, 09:46:23 PM
Coffee is great, drink it all day.  If I had a wife that brought me hazelnut bullshit, she would not be my wife much longer.

Starbucks frappachinos are fantastic, but are more like milkshakes than any coffee product.  The vanilla and strawberry cremes are delish.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 07, 2011, 10:19:25 PM
excuse me sir, may i please have a vanilla and strawberry creme frappachinos?   :lol:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: 8manpick on July 07, 2011, 10:24:18 PM
excuse me sir, may i please have a vanilla and strawberry creme frappachinos?   :lol:

Nope, either / or.  :dubious:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on July 07, 2011, 11:50:58 PM
excuse me sir, may i please have a vanilla and strawberry creme frappachinos?   :lol:

(https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fcdn2.knowyourmeme.com%2Fi%2F000%2F078%2F053%2Foriginal%2Freal-life-haters-gonna-hate.jpg%3F1287353569&hash=5621d587c6023d372b1107441b42fee7d1e4205b)
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 11, 2011, 02:10:44 PM
I had one of those McDonald's mocha frappe's this weekend.  Was amazing.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 11, 2011, 03:00:52 PM
Update: now that she's gone I just go to Starbucks/The Chef everyday.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 11, 2011, 03:16:33 PM
Have tried Panera?  I think they are #winning as far as breakfast goes.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 11, 2011, 03:19:14 PM
Have tried Panera?  I think they are #winning as far as breakfast goes.

Really?  Going to need some menu items.  Also, it is asking a lot for me to drive over there when I am in walking distance of Chef and Hyvee (mitigation of at least 80% of the baguette/cheese/cold cuts argument)
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CNS on July 11, 2011, 03:29:07 PM

Don't know about their breakfast, but the Bacon Turkey Bravo is the best "fast food" sandwich available. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 11, 2011, 03:30:36 PM
Have tried Panera?  I think they are #winning as far as breakfast goes.

Really?  Going to need some menu items.  Also, it is asking a lot for me to drive over there when I am in walking distance of Chef and Hyvee (mitigation of at least 80% of the baguette/cheese/cold cuts argument)

I've never gotten pasted a bagel with egg and bacon.  But, ya I see your point if it isn't as convenient.  Where I am they are equally convenient and the wait isn't as long at Panera (but I do have to get out of my vehicle).
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2011, 04:33:18 PM
my mother in law had three coffee choices when we visited last christmas:

hazlenut, vanilla, and some sort of vomit-inducing peppermint. terrible.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CHONGS on July 11, 2011, 04:41:12 PM
I like iced coffee.  Too many places are using water-ice instead of coffee-ice as ice though. :frown:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: AppleJack on July 11, 2011, 04:42:28 PM

Don't know about their breakfast, but the Bacon Turkey Bravo is the best "fast food" sandwich available. 

Can confirm. I always get the baguette with my sando. Sometimes I mix it up and get the "You pick two"
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 11, 2011, 04:48:27 PM
panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CHONGS on July 11, 2011, 04:52:52 PM
panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine. 
drink?  you thinking water for this?  I think you might want some bubbles for this. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 11, 2011, 04:56:54 PM
panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine. 

You are a lunch savant.  I think you need to write a book.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 11, 2011, 05:06:50 PM
panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine. 
drink?  you thinking water for this?  I think you might want some bubbles for this. 

yes water of course, carbonated beverages get the thumbs down.


panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine. 

You are a lunch savant.  I think you need to write a book.

thx tortuga.  i ordered this once last winter at a panera in indianapolis.  the manager's eye's popped out of his head and he exclaimed "why haven't i thought of doing that!?!"  needless to say the people in line behind  me knew what they were dealing with after that one!!
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CNS on July 11, 2011, 05:07:23 PM
Paneraburger Helper.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: j-von on July 11, 2011, 05:08:16 PM
I was at the Royals game the other night and was getting a bad headache because I hadn't had my coffee all day.  I don't know if Kauffman has coffee anywhere, but if they do it's probably horrible.  We decided to leave and search out a good coffee joint using the "Places" app on my phone.  Came across this place in Raytown,

http://www.benettiscoffee.com/

Was really good so i decided to buy a few bags of their roasted beans and they were solid too.  Would definitely recommend to anybody in KC.

btw, if your at home and drink anything but freshly ground coffee that's been roasted within the last week or two, you're drinking shitty coffee whether it's flavored or not.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: CHONGS on July 11, 2011, 05:11:25 PM
panera pro tip:  order small size steak chili, small size mac and cheese, large salad bowl.  combine.  
drink?  you thinking water for this?  I think you might want some bubbles for this.  

yes water of course, carbonated beverages get the thumbs down.

That's too bad, I like carbonation.  
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: SkinnyBenny on July 11, 2011, 05:18:44 PM
I was at the Royals game the other night and was getting a bad headache because I hadn't had my coffee all day.  I don't know if Kauffman has coffee anywhere, but if they do it's probably horrible.  We decided to leave and search out a good coffee joint using the "Places" app on my phone.  Came across this place in Raytown,

http://www.benettiscoffee.com/

Was really good so i decided to buy a few bags of their roasted beans and they were solid too.  Would definitely recommend to anybody in KC.

btw, if your at home and drink anything but freshly ground coffee that's been roasted within the last week or two, you're drinking shitty coffee whether it's flavored or not.


LOL @ leaving a sporting event because you had to go find some java.  You probably also call it java, right?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: sys on July 11, 2011, 05:23:48 PM
does anyone know where to buy (cheap) carbon gas?  i'd like to add some to my beverages, but i don't know if i need pressure. 
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: fatty fat fat on July 11, 2011, 05:24:55 PM
does anyone know where to buy (cheap) carbon gas?  i'd like to add some to my beverages, but i don't know if i need pressure. 

two ways to increase solubility of gas in fluids

1)lower the temperature

2)increase the atmospheric pressure.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 11, 2011, 05:29:31 PM
does anyone know where to buy (cheap) carbon gas?  i'd like to add some to my beverages, but i don't know if i need pressure. 

we have one of these-
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/classic-soda-siphon/?pkey=cwine-bar-tools|glswinbar

works great.   nothing is cheap about williams sonoma but you can find them elsewhere for less american dollars.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Stevesie60 on July 11, 2011, 05:30:14 PM
btw, if your at home and drink anything but freshly ground coffee that's been roasted within the last week or two, you're drinking shitty coffee whether it's flavored or not.

 :thumbsup:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: sys on July 11, 2011, 06:08:57 PM
we have one of these.

thanks for the tip, but why do you have one?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: felix rex on July 11, 2011, 06:28:44 PM
Love panera breakfast. I split a Mediterranean panini and spinach and artichoke souffle with my wife. Like the chipotle chicken or tomato and mozzarella for lunch.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 11, 2011, 07:09:43 PM
we have one of these.

thanks for the tip, but why do you have one?
the gf wanted one and i like bar gadgets.  it's good for making soda water for drinks, etc and it's fun.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: j-von on July 12, 2011, 04:07:42 AM
I was at the Royals game the other night and was getting a bad headache because I hadn't had my coffee all day.  I don't know if Kauffman has coffee anywhere, but if they do it's probably horrible.  We decided to leave and search out a good coffee joint using the "Places" app on my phone.  Came across this place in Raytown,

http://www.benettiscoffee.com/

Was really good so i decided to buy a few bags of their roasted beans and they were solid too.  Would definitely recommend to anybody in KC.

btw, if your at home and drink anything but freshly ground coffee that's been roasted within the last week or two, you're drinking shitty coffee whether it's flavored or not.


LOL @ leaving a sporting event because you had to go find some java.  You probably also call it java, right?

I did have some Benetti's Moka Java beans today, but other than that I only say Java when referring to the programming language.  Leaving the game wasn't one of my finer moments since I felt like a drug addict, but as a K-Stater leaving behind the expensive seats wasn't a big deal.  :kstategrad:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 12, 2011, 09:53:12 AM
does anyone know where to buy (cheap) carbon gas?  i'd like to add some to my beverages, but i don't know if i need pressure. 

two ways to increase solubility of gas in fluids

1)lower the temperature

2)increase the atmospheric pressure.

Would be horrible for fishing.  :horrorsurprise:
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: sys on July 13, 2011, 01:17:34 AM
the gf wanted one and i like bar gadgets.  it's good for making soda water for drinks, etc and it's fun.

you are a mystery.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: jtksu on July 13, 2011, 01:24:16 AM
It's also cool for tonic.  Just sayin.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 13, 2011, 08:29:06 AM
It's also cool for tonic.  Just sayin.
you make your own tonic?  where do you get your quinine from?  i'm assuming you either have a cinchona tree in your back yard or perhaps you've undertaken synthetic production?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: jtksu on July 13, 2011, 12:15:46 PM
I get it from a little bottle of tonic concentrate.  Add some water and and CO2 and boom!  Tonic.  Did you really think I don't know what tonic water is?
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 13, 2011, 06:28:13 PM
no, i wondered where you got quinine from.
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Kat Kid on July 20, 2011, 08:53:14 AM
UPDATE
 :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise:

So wife is back from work trip.  Wakes me up with some coffee (  :kstategrad: ) I get out there and smell it.  Mean mug her.  Smell, mean mug.  Finally, she says "it isn't hazel nut."  I knock back a big swig.........HALF AND HALF HAZELNUT/REG!  She giggles and jets to work.

I.......am........sooooo.........pissed........right........now......... :curse:
Title: Re: Re: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: kitten_mittons on July 20, 2011, 09:10:38 AM
UPDATE
 :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise:

So wife is back from work trip.  Wakes me up with some coffee (  :kstategrad: ) I get out there and smell it.  Mean mug her.  Smell, mean mug.  Finally, she says "it isn't hazel nut."  I knock back a big swig.........HALF AND HALF HAZELNUT/REG!  She giggles and jets to work.

I.......am........sooooo.........pissed........right........now......... :curse:

You're going to have to bang her hottest friend.

Sent from my SPH-D700 using Tapatalk
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: wetwillie on July 20, 2011, 10:56:06 AM
UPDATE
 :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise:

So wife is back from work trip.  Wakes me up with some coffee (  :kstategrad: ) I get out there and smell it.  Mean mug her.  Smell, mean mug.  Finally, she says "it isn't hazel nut."  I knock back a big swig.........HALF AND HALF HAZELNUT/REG!  She giggles and jets to work.

I.......am........sooooo.........pissed........right........now......... :curse:


fool me once shame on me, fool me twice...
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: pissclams on July 20, 2011, 11:01:19 AM
UPDATE
 :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise: :horrorsurprise:

So wife is back from work trip.  Wakes me up with some coffee (  :kstategrad: ) I get out there and smell it.  Mean mug her.  Smell, mean mug.  Finally, she says "it isn't hazel nut."  I knock back a big swig.........HALF AND HALF HAZELNUT/REG!  She giggles and jets to work.

I.......am........sooooo.........pissed........right........now......... :curse:


fool me once shame on me, fool me twice...
strike three
Title: Re: Coffee: defining our terms
Post by: Emo EMAW on July 20, 2011, 11:06:15 AM
What would Craig James do?