I came across on another board and thought yall might enjoy...
Kansas State
2007: 5-7
2008: 5-7
2009: 6-6
Rather than recap the Wildcats up and down season, a better barometer for assessing the overall health of the program is to spend a day with Bill Snyder.
7:30 a.m.
Bill gets lost on way to stadium.
7:40 a.m.
Is that a Walgreens? Uhh … yes. But is it MY Walgreens? Sharon would know. Oh heck, what’s her number gosh dernit!
7:45 a.m.
Sits in purple Crown Vic for 20 minutes trying to remember how he got here. Abandon mission.
8:05 a.m.
The GPS! Best player’s gift I ever got.
“Uh yes hello, thanks for your support. Can you tell me how to get to Bill Snyder Stadium”
“Thank you for calling OnStar. I would be most happy to help you. Can I get your name, Sir?”
“Yes. Bill Snyder.”
“The SAME Bill Snyder?
“There’s only ONE Bill Snyder in Manhattan, Kansas mister!
“Oh hello Mr. Bill! We talked last week. I’m Raj, remember? Sorry about the ga-”
Bill hangs up, fuming at technology. Vows to never travel to India. Or anywhere outside Kansas.
8:30 a.m.
Calls assistant coach for directions to stadium. Big bonus coming for the coach that can keep this all quiet. A sum is agreed upon, directions are given. Slowly.
9:00 a.m.
Bill Snyder parks in Bill Snyder’s designated parking spot. Wait, is there another Bill Snyder? Darnit! Calls University Registrar and waits on hold for 20 minutes before dozing off.
9:30 a.m.
Drool dripping down neck wakes him up. Where am I? Looks like a parking lot … It must be gameday! Wait. There are usually at least 30 cars in the lot on Saturday and I see only six. No, that’s a tractor. Five. Hmmm … must be a weekday. Time to go to work!
9:40 a.m.
Gets distracted by the goalpost peaking out of the stadium. Wanders in to give it a long embrace, addressing each post as Sir Bishop and Lord Sproles. We couldn’t have done it without you all these years! Did he just lick the goalpost? Wow.
10:00 a.m.
Gets lost on way to office, takes a nap in the player’s lounge.
10:30 a.m.
Gets carried to office by reliable 2nd string OL. Scribbles reminder to start him on Senior Day. Wait, what year is it?
11:10 a.m.
Reviews fax of updated JUCO depth charts. Solid crop this year! The future is looking bright in Manhattan. Four days of recruiting max = more time for Matlock re-runs and Thursday Bingo. Changes dentures while laughing at that supreme time-mismanager, Mack Brown.
12:00 p.m.
High noon! The day is almost over. Checks date on last will & testament, makes sure it’s current. Last stamp: yesterday.
12:15 p.m.
Checks genealogy database for any new Snyder’s to join the extended family. Hit! William Snyder, Sarasota, FL. Adds him to living will and sends recruiting letter with purple wildcat stuffed animal.
1:00 p.m.
Dominates a few games of online Euchre. Mocks his defeated opponents: Bitter Aggies!
1:45 p.m.
Changes diaper. Without help!
2:00 p.m.
PowerCat nap.
3:00 p.m.
Watches video of A&M game on a loop until …
3:30 p.m.
Aaand it’s nap time again.
4:00 p.m.
Writes weekly letter to Warren Buffett.
4:30 p.m.
Alarm sounds as reminder to head home for dinner.
5:00 p.m.
Gets lost on way home. Calls assistant coach back for directions after ripping OnStar out of the dashboard and tossing it out the window onto Bill Snyder Blvd.
5:30 p.m.
Dinner of turnips, collard greens, brussell sprouts, beets, and boiled venison. Chef’s Metamucil. Geriatric gourmet!
6:45 p.m.
PowerCat Nap.
7:30 p.m.
Glenn Beck time! Is it too late to adopt him?
8:00 p.m.
Slips into his monogrammed purple PJ’s. Yep, they’re his alright. Get your own damn pair, Sonny!
9:15 p.m.
10:45 p.m.
1:00 a.m.
2:45 a.m
4:15 a.m.
Wakes up to piss.
5:30 a.m.
A purple dawn awakes Bill Snyder for another day of winning at life.
We’ll finish off this sexy beast tomorrow with Texas, Nebraska, Okie State, and Baylor. Mmmm… Baylor. [size="5"][/size]
