GRCOAT things you did as a kid

[steve dave]

city league baseball.  pretty sure all our pitchers sucked ass, so our coach had everyone throw pitches in tryouts.  i dunno wtf i did, i just tried to throw strikes.  coach was impressed, had me start like the very next game.  it was vs. like a good team too, only one guy could really hit my pitches (he wore like a facemask helmet!  so badass!).  i ended up striking out 10 batters, allowing like 2 runs i think (no exaggeration...i struck out soooo many people and was for sure double-digits)  and i had no idea why.  maybe had some mean curve.  after that, everyone was like, hey, u might be a good pitcher, keep working at it kid!  so then i like, tried to learn how to pitch the "right" way.  completely f-ed me up.  next game i threw so many balls.  disappointed my teammates and fans.  then when i tried to revert back, f-ed that up too for a future game, only threw strikes at like 30 mph, and got rocked, gave up like double-digit runs.

oh what could have been.

also was on a rec basketball team 7th grade, where like out of 6-8 teams, manhattan parks and rec decided to put the dozen solid athletes on 2 teams.  my team was me and this one black kid who was solid, like the rest of my team was like filled w/ nerds.  well, we hung on till the end, when we were down by two, with 5 seconds to play.  black teammate takes the inbound pass, chucks a 50 footer, and nails it to win the game.  actually before that, we were down by two, with them shooting free throws, and i was taunting the shooter, telling him to f*ck up and miss.  they actually used that as an excuse for losing to the refs, while i lol'd, celebrating with champagne and hookers.  grcoat amirite?

Your descriptions are so vivid I can taste/smell them

[KSt8er]

Never took anything but blue ribbons on Field Day all through 8th grade @ 4A school.
   
Starting QB, MLB, punter, punt returner, kicker, kick returner upon moving to Minnesota for my 6th grade year where I'd had no formal football and those lucky SOBs had been playing organized ball for 2 years.  Pretty much Michael Bishop, Darren Sproles, Sean Snyder, Martin Grammatica, Mark Simoneau, and David Allen all rolled into one.   

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Game winning single in city league championship.

took home a different girl each night for an entire week.

First guy I know to put blue cheese in the middle of his hamburger patty before grilling.

[Pete]

Multiple MVP's for Baseball from 1-5 grade.

Also, made it to the State Geography Bee. One question away from making it to the finals. 

"Now...for the finals of the Sate Georgraphy Bee"

"Cas...name the only land-locked south american country."

Cas: [Stunned silence]

lol. i got some tough ones, some kids didn't know what the iberian peninsula was, and yes, i'm looking at you BIGDAVE. what a can't hack it panty-waist who wears his momma's bra. < (if anyone names this elite movie allusion they will be recieving as csourk'y.)

Weird Science, you dick wad.

nope.

Sandlot

for mr. steven david.   

Stupid &@#%ing movie that shows a dog's scrotum in way too much detail.  I feel no shame for not getting this correct.  None.


Also, Mrs. Pete was "Wendy" in a series of Wendy's commercials when she was little.  Yes, the curtains match the drapes.   

[LimestoneOutcropping]

First kid in town to learn to ollie on my board.

[CrushNasty]

Game winning bases loaded walk off single in some tournament in Missouri against an all-black KC team. The Monarchs I believe...

In 5th/6th grade me and 3 other guys had a recess basketball team called the "All-Stars" where we would play 4 on whoever.... Never lost. Amazing. Then in science class made a robot called "All-Star". Was pretty cool.

Lost Topeka City Junior Golf 12&Under championship on the last hole, I triple-bogeyed after hitting one OB off the tee, and the other lucky ass dood hit a 50+ footer to win for birdie. Led by 3 going into the last hole... 

[Dirty Sanchez]

I finished dead last in three straight junior golf tournaments.

[fatty fat fat]

8th grade park and rec soccer. first and only kat-kid/fff matchup.

kk, any comments?

 

[Lamesauce]

Ended my high school varsity career with a 100% completion percentage in Oklahoma 6A football.

Final Stats: 1-1 passing for 3 yards
(I was the punter-came on a fake punt)

What school?

Ponca City

[Kat Kid]

Fff

I pulled out the tape and here is the commentaters take:

"Kk is really pressing here...his team really needs him to step it up...but he is getting no help out there today.  Fff has played the game of his life and his marking of kk has been superb.  It has been tough for these two to put aside their friendship off the field, but not for fff, he's cheap shotting kk off the ball and tackling late and often exploiting mprd's strict no red card policy in rec league games."

At least that is what the tape said.

[Oklahoma_Cat]

Ended my high school varsity career with a 100% completion percentage in Oklahoma 6A football.

Final Stats: 1-1 passing for 3 yards
(I was the punter-came on a fake punt)

What school?

Ponca City

Wow.  Sucks to be you, then.

[fatty fat fat]

Fff

I pulled out the tape and here is the commentaters take:

"Kk is really pressing here...his team really needs him to step it up...but he is getting no help out there today.  Fff has played the game of his life and his marking of kk has been superb.  It has been tough for these two to put aside their friendship off the field, but not for fff, he's cheap shotting kk off the ball and tackling late and often exploiting mprd's strict no red card policy in rec league games."

At least that is what the tape said.

very accurate.

[krazykat]

5th or 6th grade. pitched an inning throwing 9 strikes for 3 outs.

[Brock Landers]

Ended my high school varsity career with a 100% completion percentage in Oklahoma 6A football.

Final Stats: 1-1 passing for 3 yards
(I was the punter-came on a fake punt)

What school?

Ponca City

No kidding Lamesauce???  Because my "Regurgitate the Rams" poster story was for Ponca City's epic battle against the Owasso Rams.  What years were u there?

[ltrain37]

In the 7th grade I scored the winning goal in a 8th grade soccer game against a bigger school.  We didn't have enough 8th graders to field a full team, so we had to play with some 7th graders.   

[premierkc]

killed a bull snake on our front porch with a garden hoe summer after 2nd grade, it was all coiled up near the front door and wouldn't leave apparently. Mom had me jump out the living room window so I could sneak up on it, she says I wouldn't do it without an "Indiana Jones" hat and a whip, so she gave me an old hat and coiled some string like a rope over my shoulder. I don't even remember it, but she has a polaroid of me approaching the snake with the hoe and a fedora on.

[steve dave]

killed a bull snake on our front porch with a garden hoe summer after 2nd grade, it was all coiled up near the front door and wouldn't leave apparently. Mom had me jump out the living room window so I could sneak up on it, she says I wouldn't do it without an "Indiana Jones" hat and a whip, so she gave me an old hat and coiled some string like a rope over my shoulder. I don't even remember it, but she has a polaroid of me approaching the snake with the hoe and a fedora on.

This is what I'm talking about people.  Nobody cares about your little league stats

[Pete]

killed a bull snake on our front porch with a garden hoe summer after 2nd grade, it was all coiled up near the front door and wouldn't leave apparently. Mom had me jump out the living room window so I could sneak up on it, she says I wouldn't do it without an "Indiana Jones" hat and a whip, so she gave me an old hat and coiled some string like a rope over my shoulder. I don't even remember it, but she has a polaroid of me approaching the snake with the hoe and a fedora on.

This is what I'm talking about people.  Nobody cares about your little league stats

That IS pretty sweet.  I am going to do this kind of crap to my kids all the time.

[ltrain37]

I shot out the window of a moving car with a slingshot and a rock when I was in the second grade.

[steve dave]

I shot out the window of a moving car with a slingshot and a rock when I was in the second grade.

How far away?  Punishment severity?

[Pete]

The neighbor kid, year behind me in school, lit his back yard on fire while messing around with matches and stuff.  He was in 3rd or 4th grade.  It wasn't too big of a deal, but another neighbor saw the smoke and called the FD.

FD shows up and asks him what happened, and he told them that a black man in a hooded cape came and lit the fire and then ran off.  True story.

[ltrain37]

I shot out the window of a moving car with a slingshot and a rock when I was in the second grade.

How far away?  Punishment severity?

Not very far...I was standing next to my house.  Probably 15-20 yards.  Mom yelled at me for awhile and gave me the old "just wait till your father gets home" talk which was always more frighteneing than the actual punishment.  Grounded for a couple of weeks and had to go apologize to the old lady.  My older bro got in troubs too cause it was his slingshot and he taught me how to use it.

[Pete]

Here's another one....but not sure if this really counts because the kid was really young.

A relative of mine, when he was of pre-school age, was sitting in the grocery cart at the super market.  Lady in front of them turned around to say "hi."  Apparently she had very tight, curly hair.  He remarked that she had "bagina hair on her head."  True story.

[Kat Kid]

CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS!!

Found my dad's Playboy collection.

[pissclams]

i trapped a mink

[steve dave]

CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS!!

Found my dad's Playboy collection.

I wish we had been friends when your dad was my advisor.  I would have had good material for us to discuss. 

[Pete]

i trapped a mink

Like with a box, a stick and a string?  Or you were a "trapper" and one of your pelts was a mink?

[da govna]

i trapped a mink

and how did that mink shag? 

[pissclams]

caught the s.o.b. in one of these  -- >  http://www.sportsunlimitednl.com/img/products/100_0467%20%5B%5D.jpg

[prome05]

One time I ate an entire Big Mo.