I used to claim ping-pong, but that was always BS.
I'm a better ping pong player then tennis IMHO. I haven't lost to anyone outside of my family. My dad's a freak @ tennis table.
Never played a person with a "pencil grip" though. 
I would beat you and your dad. Would probably "skunk" you too. If you even know what that means. 
Your ass would be grass. Bring it at any time.
I'm quite sure I could beat both of you like a red-headed step child at table tennis. A few questions for you:
1) What is your USATT rating? I have been over 1600 before.
2) Have you played in any sanctioned tournaments, and did you win any events?
I have won a number of medals, trophies, and cash prizes in such tournaments.
3) Have you ever represented K-State in the National ACUI tournament? When I was a student I got to go to nationals three times (paid for by K-State).
4) Have you played much with the KSU Table Tennis Club? I was president for several years.
5) How many intramural championship shirts do you have for playing table tennis? I know I've got over a dozen for that, but it's not much of an accomplishment to brag about since the competition was usually very weak.
6) Have you met many Olympic-caliber players before? I have met Jimmy Butler, Barney Reed, Todd Sweeris, etc.
7) How far have you traveled to play in sanctioned tournaments before? I have gone to Detroit, Houston, Atlanta, Oklahoma City, Kansas City, and Wichita for tournaments. Also been to smaller ones around the state as well.
Hey, I'm supposed to brag here, right? I bet I'm a better poker player than most of you as well.
