Drug tests.

[Babytears]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

[LimestoneOutcropping]

Wizzinator seems the most likely to pass it in a fool proof way.

What are ramifications if you get caught cheating on it?  Jail or job?

[The42Yardstick]

Does someone have to be observing you while you piss? Because if so, you're kinda screwed.

[Babytears]

No one will be watching.  For my job.  Rumblings that there will be random drug testing starting on Monday.  If I get canned it looks like I will be forced to live a life of crime.  Lock your doors, Steve.

[Rick Daris]

i'm supposed to get randomly tested where i'm at but i've been there a year and haven't so who knows. still too  about the possibility though. would loose my job if i failed one. this would be very bad.

[doom]

Ideas:
-Drink lots of water. 
-Get diagnosed with glaucoma. 
-Carry around a hydration bladder full of clean pee under your work clothes. 
-Sell the drugs when you get fired.

[ew2x4]

Ideas:
-Drink lots of water. 
-Get diagnosed with glaucoma. 
-Carry around a hydration bladder full of clean pee under your work clothes. 
-Sell the drugs when you get fired.

In this order, too.

[Dirty Sanchez]

What if its not a piss test?  When I started at Cabela's the test they gave me was basically a small tampon on a stick that you stick in your mouth for a minute or two to get a good dose of saliva.  They run it through right then and there and know within a couple of minutes if you're canned.

Best option at this point would be to see if your company has an employee assistance program.  Tell them you have a drug problem and they'll get you counseling rather than canning you.

[I_have_purplewood]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

[Babytears]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

[KSt8er]

GNC store might have something, other than that you are looking at buying online and waiting on it to arrive, though overnight shipping might be available.  Drink apple cider vinegar, take a shot every few hours and drink lots of water, it'll flush you kidneys.  Monday morning get a BIG (32 ounces or more) or the warmest/hottest water you can handle, pour in two packets of PLAIN gelatin found at your local grocery store, pour in water and mix FAST as it will start to gel and chug it all down, drink another of cold water.  Try not to pee until test, never give sample into cup until midway to finishing and only give as little as possible.   Supposedly the gelatin coats your tubing on the way out and prevents the exchange of evidence.  Good luck!

[Babytears]

GNC store might have something, other than that you are looking at buying online and waiting on it to arrive, though overnight shipping might be available.  Drink apple cider vinegar, take a shot every few hours and drink lots of water, it'll flush you kidneys.  Monday morning get a BIG (32 ounces or more) or the warmest/hottest water you can handle, pour in two packets of PLAIN gelatin found at your local grocery store, pour in water and mix FAST as it will start to gel and chug it all down, drink another of cold water.  Try not to pee until test, never give sample into cup until midway to finishing and only give as little as possible.   Supposedly the gelatin coats your tubing on the way out and prevents the exchange of evidence.  Good luck!

You are awesome.  *highfive*

[LimestoneOutcropping]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

 And I'm addicted to love.

and double bacon cheeseburgers.

[Thin Blue Line]

Sorry d00d. You're out of luck. Those drug helper type things don't work.

[steve dave]

No one will be watching.  For my job.  Rumblings that there will be random drug testing starting on Monday.  If I get canned it looks like I will be forced to live a life of crime.  Lock your doors, Steve.

Yeah, if you go to GNC or some other beefcake store and just straight up tell them what's up they will point you in the direction.  Even if it's not something they have they will tell you what to roll with. 

[fatty fat fat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g1KcOw7zas

[CrimsonBlue]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

Welcome to the club.


 


 

[Thin Blue Line]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

Welcome to the club.


 


 

/\ Hippies

[yoga-lika_abana]

If you get fired be sure to yell Adrian and act like you are all whacked out. maybe kick the sumo wrestler chick on your way out the doors.

[Thin Blue Line]

If you get fired be sure to yell Adrian and act like you are all whacked out. maybe kick the sumo wrestler chick on your way out the doors.

Lollersquirtz!

[I_have_purplewood]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

Can't really say I've ever really thought of your stuff as elite-level.  Were you smoking grass when you posted this?  If you could do some meth and then post I'll have something to compare your other postings too.  As far as your job, I think you're screwed as well.  If you get fired my only suggestion would be to give them a guilt trip.  Tell them you have cancer in your bottom and you were smoking it for medicinal purposes.

[steve dave]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

Can't really say I've ever really thought of your stuff as elite-level.  Were you smoking grass when you posted this?  If you could do some meth and then post I'll have something to compare your other postings too.  As far as your job, I think you're screwed as well.  If you get fired my only suggestion would be to give them a guilt trip.  Tell them you have cancer in your bottom and you were smoking it for medicinal purposes.

BT's stuff is almost always elite level

[I_have_purplewood]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

knowing what drugs you're taking won't help me help you but it would make me feel better about judging you later.  Do you mind telling me which kind and how much? 

I smoke a fair amount of pot (Come on, man.  Haven't you noticed my elite-level posting style?  That sh1t ain't natural.)  And I'm addicted to love.

Can't really say I've ever really thought of your stuff as elite-level.  Were you smoking grass when you posted this?  If you could do some meth and then post I'll have something to compare your other postings too.  As far as your job, I think you're screwed as well.  If you get fired my only suggestion would be to give them a guilt trip.  Tell them you have cancer in your bottom and you were smoking it for medicinal purposes.

BT's stuff is almost always elite level

Yes, i know it is but I was trying to gauge the seriousness of his pot addiction by seeing if he'd take my suggestion on doing meth.  It would be nice if you had a little more faith in us fellow ksufanners.com ability to do good and not always take stuff at face value.  We're not all dolts.

[ArchE_Cat]

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

Get a real job where they don't require drug tests.

[MOKSUAZ]

had a buddy that smoked the night before his test, went to Walgreens and picked up medicine for a urinary tract infection, drank a crap ton of water and held his pee as long as he could that night (piss looked all bright orangey when he went).  considering he passed this test for the marines i was pretty impressed.  

i would say if you have more than a week or two you should be in the clear as long as you drink an insane amount of water, cranberry juice, tea, and stuff mixed with vinegar.  i would also recommend running/lifting/working out as much as possible because you can also sweat a lot of it out.  good luck bro.

I want to pass one.  How do I do it?

(And don't anyone say 'don't take drugs' cuz its too late for that sh1t)

Get a real job where they don't require drug tests.

this as well.

[PowercatPat]

Ask Aquib Talib. He probably got past a few.

[Babytears]

I have a real job (chemist...ironic, I know).  That's why I was pretty shocked at this news and have been so carefree with my drug abuse.  Pricks.

[steve dave]

considering he passed this test for the marines i was pretty impressed.  

Pfffttt, bet they just dump it down the toilet.  They will take anyone.

[MOKSUAZ]

considering he passed this test for the marines i was pretty impressed.  

Pfffttt, bet they just dump it down the toilet.  They will take anyone.

it was after he went through basic training and was going through the next round of crap they do (maybe job placement help, i dunno).  and this was back in 2002.

[LimestoneOutcropping]

I have a real job (chemist...ironic, I know).  That's why I was pretty shocked at this news and have been so carefree with my drug abuse.  Pricks.

WTF do they care if you smoke some green?

You must roll around in tie dyes and birks.