THE BEST DREAM EVER

[SkinnyBenny]

"Listening to other people's dreams is like looking through other people's photos.  If I'm not in 'em and nobody's having sex, I'm just not interested."  -Dennis, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

^I know, I know.  These usually suck.  But listen to what I woke up to this morning.

***Squiggly, wiggly dream sequence fade in with pink border around the TV to indicate a dream Saved By the Bell style.***

My roommate and I keep getting a call on our housephone ( ) harassing us with that horrifying, scary voice in "Scream."  You know, going through the whole Whaaaattt's your faaavorite SCAAARY MOOOVIE?? schtick.  Then he tells us he's in the house.  We set out to track him down and finally find the room we know he's in.  He obviously hears us coming, because when we open the door, he is facing away from us like the  guy, and he's bent down at the waist with his murderer robe pulled up over his butt.  He is butt-ass naked from the waist down, genitals tucked back between his legs, and I mean he is FULL-ON FRUIT BOWLING THE CRAP out of me and my roommate.  Showing us everything tucked betwixt those legs of his.  But then, to top it all off, homeboy looks at us as he's bent over flaunting his business, and from behind his Scream mask he goes, "WHAAAAAASSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  Like from those Budweiser commercials.

I woke up and at first I was all,

But now I'm just like, WHAT F*%&ING YEAR IS IT?!?!? 

[KITNfury]

kind of a gay dream d00d.

[SkinnyBenny]

If by kind of gay you mean super duper gay, then yeah.  I know.  But still awesome.

[KSU187]

You don't need to be Freud to see your latent homosexuality SkinnyBenny......

Im gonna go with super gay 

[SkinnyBenny]

Doi.  Continuing the 1996 theme, after I woke up I listened to some Everclear.

Now you go.

[KSt8er]

Yup, gay, you'll be in the closet soon.   Nothing wrong with that dude, unless.....was the guy Mangino? 

[SkinnyBenny]

Yup, gay, you'll be in the closet soon.   Nothing wrong with that dude, unless.....was the guy Mangino? 

Do you mean out of the closet?  Do you know the difference? 

[KSt8er]

Yup, gay, you'll be in the closet soon.   Nothing wrong with that dude, unless.....was the guy Mangino? 

Do you mean out of the closet?  Do you know the difference? 

Well, I assumed you had yet to get in it, but what do I know?

[RonLongshaft]

i'll share a dream I had two nights ago. (thought about posting it on here that morning lol)

So me and a couple buddies (some that aren't even in school) are going into the library(it was Hale, but it was all on one floor, hard to describe the layout). We decided to go to the bathroom before we sit down (yes, all of us, ghey i know ).

 I go to a urinal and unzip, start my business, look down and blood is just flowing into the toilet (not from urethra). Think "oh crap!" start to investigate and somehow (zipper ) my sack is ripped open below the left nut. Scream "crap! , somebody call 911 my sack is ripped open!" so a buddy does as I am standing there pinching it shut.

Ambulance gets there and tell my buddies they can't come inside, aren't aloud inside Hale. WTF??? So I have to somehow get outside with my sweet spot covered in blood and my crown royal bag leaking. So I try and tuck the goods back in so 1/2 of KSU doesn't see what I'm working with.

I proceed to walk towards the door, one hand in pants (still holding shut sack) and one holding up my jeans etc. Blood soaked jeans and all. get halfway to the door and drop....contine to bear crawl my way out the door. 

So I wake up in a half hearted kick laying on my chest, balls franking feel like theyre in a vice, go for a grab of the boys and they're ok... whew.

obviously this does not belong in "BEST DREAM EVER" thread, but not worthy of a new thread

EDIT: forgot to mention, this was very very graphic, I'm in a repro class right now, and I've castrated many many bulls, and some boars in my life sooo yea. 

[KSU187]

Purchase a beeper, watch the movie "Broken Arrow" , and put on the 1996 Olympic womens gymnastic "Kari Strugg style" track suits and have your buddy carry you around the house while you hold a boquet.

It would mix your super gayness with the 96' theme!

[steve dave]

that's a pretty lol dream skinny.   

[Brock Landers]

Gotta admit I lol'd too.  But dude.....when you have a dream about getting a fruit bowl you should probably keep that to yourself.  The rest of the dream was messed up enough to stand on its own.  JMO.

[Ghost of Stan Parrish]

The other day I dreamed I was fighting invisible ninjas, and winning.  (Honestly.)  Woke up feeling pretty good about myself.

 

[SkinnyBenny]

Gotta admit I lol'd too.  But dude.....when you have a dream about getting a fruit bowl you should probably keep that to yourself.  The rest of the dream was messed up enough to stand on its own.  JMO.

I bring it all to the table. 

[KITNfury]

The other day I dreamed I was fighting invisible ninjas, and winning.  (Honestly.)  Woke up feeling pretty good about myself.

 

Invisible ninjas are very difficult to defeat. I say congrats!

[SkinnyBenny]

so is a guy with a knife and a fruitbowl

[Perry]

So I have one from when I was like 7 or 8 that was pretty epic:

For whatever reason I'm in NYC, and as I'm sightseeing, the Statue of Liberty starts walking around crushing buildings (very godzilla-esque). Obviously terrified, I hopped in the nearest golf cart I could find and started driving with one or two other people who were fleeing. The Statue is down the street, walking towards us. It bends down so that its face was on ground level, so naturally we started hurling those little snack-sized bags of Doritos at it, which appeased its hunger enough so that we could escape.

I could not make this up if I tried.

[QuinnMac]

i'll share a dream I had two nights ago. (thought about posting it on here that morning lol)

So me and a couple buddies (some that aren't even in school) are going into the library(it was Hale, but it was all on one floor, hard to describe the layout). We decided to go to the bathroom before we sit down (yes, all of us, ghey i know ).

 I go to a urinal and unzip, start my business, look down and blood is just flowing into the toilet (not from urethra). Think "oh crap!" start to investigate and somehow (zipper ) my sack is ripped open below the left nut. Scream "crap! , somebody call 911 my sack is ripped open!" so a buddy does as I am standing there pinching it shut.

Ambulance gets there and tell my buddies they can't come inside, aren't aloud inside Hale. WTF??? So I have to somehow get outside with my sweet spot covered in blood and my crown royal bag leaking. So I try and tuck the goods back in so 1/2 of KSU doesn't see what I'm working with.

I proceed to walk towards the door, one hand in pants (still holding shut sack) and one holding up my jeans etc. Blood soaked jeans and all. get halfway to the door and drop....contine to bear crawl my way out the door. 

So I wake up in a half hearted kick laying on my chest, balls franking feel like theyre in a vice, go for a grab of the boys and they're ok... whew.

obviously this does not belong in "BEST DREAM EVER" thread, but not worthy of a new thread

Can't believe you posted that

[QuinnMac]

So I have one from when I was like 7 or 8 that was pretty epic:

For whatever reason I'm in NYC, and as I'm sightseeing, the Statue of Liberty starts walking around crushing buildings (very godzilla-esque). Obviously terrified, I hopped in the nearest golf cart I could find and started driving with one or two other people who were fleeing. The Statue is down the street, walking towards us. It bends down so that its face was on ground level, so naturally we started hurling those little snack-sized bags of Doritos at it, which appeased its hunger enough so that we could escape.

I could not make this up if I tried.

 

[FBWillie]

I never have funny dreams.   They all usually end in a murderous rampage & a bloody mess. 















I guess it's kind of funny.

[krazykat]

i like where this thread is going. i had a krazy one earlier in the week....

my older brother and i are getting ready for my other brothers wedding like in this back side room of the recpetion hall. my mom walks in and tells us we need to go over and start eating the food they ordered for the reception. so we go over there and what do we find. an 8 by 8 foot glass aquarium with a spiral ladder going to the top. filled with ice and shrimp. and not your everday shrimp, these were the size of steaks. so we start mowing down these huge shrimp. and then walks in this oriental cook, he starts cooking all sorts of awesome versions of shrimp. dream was the tits.

[Trim]

This isn't close to what you guys are talking about, but I had a crazy dream last night and it seemed self-involved to start a whole new thread about it.  Here it is:

So it's next football season, yet we're still playing ku at home.  The game is in BSFS but it's been different.  The seats are way closer to the field and there's really nothing separating the stands from the action.  It's kind of like a little high school stadium in that the fans get to their seats from the field side.  There's also no structure as to where people have to sit.  It's all GA, yet people tend to sit where they sit now.  However, for this game/dream, I sit in the front row on the east side around the south 10-yard line.  The stadium is no longer a "bowl" - you can enter/exit at field level through the south corners. 

ku jumps out 54-7 or something in the 1st quarter and I get disgusted and leave.  I go to what I thought was a bar, but it's more of a cafeteria.  Once there, I learn the game isn't even on tv other than ppv that this cafeteria isn't getting.  The tv is showing basically a ESPN gametracker type screen.  As soon as I get there, KSU starts a comeback.  Early in the 3rd quarter, with both teams in the 40-60 point range and KSU down 11, we get a touchdown.  RP goes for 2, apparently so that a FG will tie.  Even in dreamworld, he's a jackass.  The conversion fails and the game moves on.

Here the game details get sketchy, but it's back and forth the rest of the way and I eventually go back to the game.  I can only squeeze into the Southeast end zone where the bulk of the ku fans are.  ku eventually wins the game by a point, going back to RP's indefensible decision to go for 2.  ku fans rush the field, mainly because the seats are essentially on the field and they're generally being jackasses.  I'm not as angry at the ku fans as I am at RP for just putting KSU fans through this misery and depriving current students of all the good times I had.  I see RP shuffling off towards the Southwest corner of the field - apparently he was just going to head out to the parking lot.  He seems oblivious to the utter mess he's caused here.  I go out towards mid-field and yell "you suck!"  He ignores me so I yell "man, you're horrible, look what you've done."  He turns to me and in a Suge Knight voice, bellows, "man, suck my muthaf*cking d*ck!"  I say, "no dude, just f*ck you."  He says, "hey, f*ck this" and pulls out a gun and points it at me.  The dream version of me, knowing RP probably sucks at everything including shooting, nonchalantly turns and walks away.  I hear him shoot multiple times, none of them coming close to me.

That's when I woke up.  I seemed to realize this had actually happened, notwithstanding that none of the premise makes sense.  I turned on ESPN hoping I could hear the approximately 87-86 score and confirm this was true.  That didn't happen and I thought "I don't need to hear this, I know it happened" and went back to sleep.  Then I woke up for real at a normal time and somehow remembered this all (I normally don't remember dreams in this much detail) and laughed.  In thinking how the dream concluded, I hope that RP ended up shooting some innocent bystander, was arrested and fired, and a new coach came in to save KSU football.

Thoughts?