EarthdogFred A fair and balancedlook at the FlockPremium Member Re: a tale of two message boards - www.scout.comPosted: 9/8/06 10:05:22 am --------------------------------------------------------------------------------So often on these boards rational thought is perceived as hostility by the saps.Pastries for thought. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Posts: 14036
Re: a tale of two message boards - www.scout.comPosted: 9/8/06 12:30:50 pm --------------------------------------------------------------------------------The true extent of measure board lunacy is measured by the extent to which the following categories of posters are represented.The Pontificating Prognosticator (e.g. Senex68). Purports to have inside information on any and all issues and confidently assures the Flock that Luke Axtell is on campus and Roy is not leaving. He's never right. Demands that all who disagree with him be banned.The Rodney King (e.g. Kong). Constantly upset by the lack of message board civility. Whatever that means. "Can't we all just get along?"The Angry White Man (e.g. Doc Holliday). Has sat in the rafters for every home game since 1961. Has demons, real and imagined, and is angry at all of them. Will admit to no wrong in his program. Well, actually, he's moderated on that bit over the years. And he's p*ssed off about it. The Literalist (e.g. HawkAlum). Believes in the literal, gospel truth of every word that exits the coach's mouth. If the coach says, "Monkeys just flew out of Julian Wright's a$$," he immediately starts a thread speculating on the impact monkey flying out of his a$$ will have on Julian's performance in the next game. The Sage (e.g. frankj). Feels compelled to counsel and defend the Flock. Won't believe anything unless you have a link. Of course, if you have a link, he'll believe anything.The Psycho Zealot (e.g. KrisNelson, auraltooth, izmo). A true believer who turns violent at the drop of hat. Telephone death threats are his stock in trade. If he really gets angry, he dons his hockey jersey and heads for the Naismith statute to take on any and all.The Parody Poster (e.g. TimmytheTiger). Simply pure comic genius. Takes the Flock mentally to an extreme and mimics it perfectly. They never catch on.The Apparent Parody Poster (e.g. TRUBLU). Funnier than an actual Parody Poster. You would bet the farm that no one is that stupid. You would be wrong.The Ernest Hemingway (e.g. jaytalker, mikeness, NW Greybeard). Can't say anything in less than 10 pages, and has nothing to say.The Board Slut (e.g. kuAlum). Sports are like UNC to her, she doesn't give a sh*t. She's just looking to get laid.
Re: a tale of two message boards - www.scout.comPosted: 9/8/06 2:35:53 pm --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oops, forgot a couple.The John Kerry (e.g. PittsburgJayhawk, pglegand, H43). This poster is the essential roux of board meltdowns. Goes from moral certainity that we will win a National Championship to absolute conviction that we will never win another game in the span of just one loss. Reacts similarly to being spurned by a recruit.The Archivist (e.g. Agerholm, TomLight). Has a Cray supercomputer to which he has devoted years to archiving posts and screenshots. Breaks them out from time and uses them, usually out of context. A fairly frightening pastime. Fortunately, such posters are usually being closely watched by local authorities.The Mancrusher (e.g. honk4tad). Self evident. And kinda sad.The Player Parent (e.g. KLM). This is a real plus if you can snag one. Extra credit if the poster is semi-literate and willing to mix it up with other player parents on other teams.
Another recent classic:Quote Re: a tale of two message boards - www.scout.comPosted: 9/8/06 12:30:50 pm --------------------------------------------------------------------------------The true extent of measure board lunacy is measured by the extent to which the following categories of posters are represented.The Pontificating Prognosticator (e.g. Senex68). Purports to have inside information on any and all issues and confidently assures the Flock that Luke Axtell is on campus and Roy is not leaving. He's never right. Demands that all who disagree with him be banned.The Rodney King (e.g. Kong). Constantly upset by the lack of message board civility. Whatever that means. "Can't we all just get along?"The Angry White Man (e.g. Doc Holliday). Has sat in the rafters for every home game since 1961. Has demons, real and imagined, and is angry at all of them. Will admit to no wrong in his program. Well, actually, he's moderated on that bit over the years. And he's p*ssed off about it. The Literalist (e.g. HawkAlum). Believes in the literal, gospel truth of every word that exits the coach's mouth. If the coach says, "Monkeys just flew out of Julian Wright's a$$," he immediately starts a thread speculating on the impact monkey flying out of his a$$ will have on Julian's performance in the next game. The Sage (e.g. frankj). Feels compelled to counsel and defend the Flock. Won't believe anything unless you have a link. Of course, if you have a link, he'll believe anything.The Psycho Zealot (e.g. KrisNelson, auraltooth, izmo). A true believer who turns violent at the drop of hat. Telephone death threats are his stock in trade. If he really gets angry, he dons his hockey jersey and heads for the Naismith statute to take on any and all.The Parody Poster (e.g. TimmytheTiger). Simply pure comic genius. Takes the Flock mentally to an extreme and mimics it perfectly. They never catch on.The Apparent Parody Poster (e.g. TRUBLU). Funnier than an actual Parody Poster. You would bet the farm that no one is that stupid. You would be wrong.The Ernest Hemingway (e.g. jaytalker, mikeness, NW Greybeard). Can't say anything in less than 10 pages, and has nothing to say.The Board Slut (e.g. kuAlum). Sports are like UNC to her, she doesn't give a sh*t. She's just looking to get laid.QuoteRe: a tale of two message boards - www.scout.comPosted: 9/8/06 2:35:53 pm --------------------------------------------------------------------------------Oops, forgot a couple.The John Kerry (e.g. PittsburgJayhawk, pglegand, H43). This poster is the essential roux of board meltdowns. Goes from moral certainity that we will win a National Championship to absolute conviction that we will never win another game in the span of just one loss. Reacts similarly to being spurned by a recruit.The Archivist (e.g. Agerholm, TomLight). Has a Cray supercomputer to which he has devoted years to archiving posts and screenshots. Breaks them out from time and uses them, usually out of context. A fairly frightening pastime. Fortunately, such posters are usually being closely watched by local authorities.The Mancrusher (e.g. honk4tad). Self evident. And kinda sad.The Player Parent (e.g. KLM). This is a real plus if you can snag one. Extra credit if the poster is semi-literate and willing to mix it up with other player parents on other teams.
people who post on the internet = sadpeople who post on the internet about other people who post on the internet = very sad
