As a nine-year Lawrence resident, I fully expected San Francisco to put us to shame in the crazy, angry, leftist wacko category.
Not so. Absolutely no exaggeration: I see far more bumper stickers and freak jobs on Mass Street on my way to work in the morning than I did in three days in San Francisco. I didn't spy a single "Bush is Satan" type bumper sticker ever. I usually spot several in Lawrence on my trip to the gas station. The best they could muster was some weak and painfully polite "Obama '08" bumper stickers, when I saw any at all. I only saw a few fruitcakes my last day there, and those were the dumb silver mime guys ripping off tourists on Fisherman's Wharf. I didn't see any obvious queers. It wasn't like I was just in the touristy areas, I spent like 45 minutes trying to escape Haight-friggin'-Ashbury and numerous residential neighborhoods without spotting a single angry leftist.
I feel so disappointed.
I think I finally figured it out there. In San Francisco, they are cool, mellow liberals who are at peace with themselves. Here in Lawrence, they are angry as hell liberals who think they are stuck in this horribly ignorant, uneducated, superstitiously God-fearing state and they hate the world for it. I think it's hilarious.
Oh. My last hour in San Fran I did get accosted by a friendly ACLU dude who wanted to know if I was "interested in ending torture". I can only assume he was referring to our fascist federal government. I told him no, but passed on informing him I that I don't patronize groups who defend Nazis and pedophiles. I briefly thought about telling him God Bless, which I'm sure any self-respecting ACLU type would love.
So while San Francisco is pretty scenic, they apparently aren't near the angry, loudmouthed, nonmotivated, enlightened leftists that call Lawrence home. Pretty lame.
I did tell my wife that if some dude hit me in the head, for God's sakes don't let them give me a blood transfusion at San Francisco General Hospital. Throw me in the trunk and take me to San Rafael.
