&@#% you steve dave

[sys]

i spent valuable minutes preparing this insightful list, and will post it regardless of context.

interesting idea, st'ave.  my ratings are a little different, but really the same (the ones that aren't different).

1.  Turgeon.  Distinctive white spot in hair.  The white spot makes the man.  Neat and thin, like a short-haired terrier-whippet cross.
2.  Frank Martin.  The best in the Big 12.  Unfortunately, not attractive.  Big hands.  Says "you know" too much.
3.  Barnes.  Skinny and dapper.  Could be a model (for thin, dapper old men).
4.  Capel.  Duke connections.  Strange mustache.  Looks like he will get fat as he ages.
5.  Doc Stadler.  Looks like Beetlejuice (q'edft).
6.  Bzeeldilackis.  Coached in the NBA.  Wooly'esque, but not as pretty.
7.  Anderson.  Fit, but unfortunately shaped head.  Family connections.  Needs a horse ranch.
8.  Bob Knight.  Shoots people.  Probably should move to San Fransisco.
9.  McDermott.  Ugly.  Small head.  Ursine aspect.  Oddly shaped body and fat neck.
10.  Sean Sutton.  Less attractive than his brother, which likely galls him.  May die soon.  Good recruiter.
11.  Self.  Hairless.  Smells offensive.  Licks barbecue sauce off players.  Skin is sticky (sweats honey).  May be a badger.
12.  Drew.  Very ugly.  Cheats.  Jealous of brother.  Hired for his religious beliefs.  His "team" is more like a cult, may be shot by federal agents in the future.

[steve dave]

LOL, I was going to repost after more thorough analysis.

Final list:

1.  Frank Martin.  The best in the Big 12 and national media agrees.  Handsome beyond his years.  Could either sit your grandkid on his lap or kick your ass (HE'S THAT VERSATILE).  Very dreamy.
2.  Drew.  Not that ugly.  Sys hates him so that gets him a few points.  Took over a team that was in AWESOME shape when he got there.
3.  Barnes.  Good recruiter.  Slim and trim.  Clearly watches what he eats and is well spoken.  Probably smells nice.
4.  Doc Stadler.  Looks like Beetlejuice
5.  Capel.  Duke connections.  Will look strange as a fat guy.  Probably a solid long term hire.
6.  Bzeglikidis.  Coached in the NBA.  Wooly'esque.  Solid long term decentness with the looks and skillz.
7.  Turgeon.  White hair spot.  What the hell is that white hair spot!?  Bad coach brings his looks further down.  Horrible long termness as a coach.
8.  Anderson.  Cosby'eque.  May be a nice guy but wish he wouldn't use the phrase "hell" when describing his teams play.  It's a turnoff.
9.  Bob Knight.  Good cusser.
10.  McDermott.  Neck fat out of hand.  Need FFF screen shot of that gelatinous neck fat rolling over his collared shirt.  Feel bad for button at top of collared shirt.
11.  Sean Sutton.  Drunk 24/7.  Looks a little less like Beetlejuice than Stadler.
12.  Self.  Hair fake.  Smelly and offensive to look at.  Skin sticks to shirt.

[steve dave]

Bump for finished list.

[sys]

great point about how barnes smells.  i'm confident you are correct.  sl'xpress, can you confirm?