GEORGE: What are you sweatin' for?
TARTABULL: It's hot in this uniform.
GEORGE: Hot? <Feels Tartabull's material.> What is this?
TARTBULL: What is what?
GEORGE: This uniform, what's it made from?
TARTBULL: I don't know, cotton?
GEORGE: No. This is not cotton. Here, lemme see. <Tries to look at the tag on the uniform. Tartabull gets creeped out and resists.> Will you stop it? <Looks at the tag.> Oh. Of course. Polyester!
TARTABULL: So?
GEORGE: I can't believe you're not playing in cotton.
TARTABULL: Well, this is what they give us.
GEORGE: You know they used to make leisure suits out of this fabric?
TARTABULL: You really think cotton's better?
GEORGE: Of course! Alright, maybe I'll say something to Buck.
New scene - George approaches Buck Showalter at Yankee Stadium.
GEORGE: Hey, Buck. Talk to you for a second?
SHOWALTER: Sure, George.
GEORGE: How's everything going? Everything O.K.?
SHOWALTER: Well, all of a sudden there's a problem with Tartabull's swing...
GEORGE: Listen, Buck, I uh...obviously I don't need to talk to you about the importance of player morale, but uh...I've been talking to some of the guys, and some of them - I don't want to mention any names - but some of them...they're not too happy with the polyester uniforms.
SHOWALTER: How so?
GEORGE: Well, they get very hot in the polyester. You know, it's not a natural fibre. I think they would prefer cotton.
SHOWALTER: Cotton, huh?
GEORGE: Yeah. Cotton breathes, you see, it's much softer. Imagine playing games and your team is five degrees cooler than the other team. Don't you think that would be an advantage? They're cooler, they're more comfortable...they're happier - they're gonna play better.
SHOWALTER: You may have something there, George.
GEORGE: Oh - I've got something.
SHOWALTER (considering): Hmm. Cotton uniforms.
NEW SCENE
ANNOUNCER #1: And the Yankees take the field!
ANNOUNCER #2: Is it my imagination, or do the Yankees look a little different tonight? I can't put my finger on it...
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, from what I understand, they've switched to cotton uniforms.
ANNOUNCER #2: They seem blousier, softer...
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, it is a natural fibre...
<Jerry shakes his head and continues on his way.>
NEW SCENE
GEORGE: Well, did you see it?
JERRY: See what?
GEORGE: The uniforms! Did you see how they played? Listen to these comments! (reads from the paper) "Wade Boggs: 'What a fabric! Finally we can breathe.' Luis Palonia: 'Cotton is king.' Paul O'Neill: 'I never dreamed anything could be so soft and fluffy.' "
NEW SCENE
GEORGE: Hey, hey! Yankee game! <Changes the channel.>
JERRY: Oh, great! Alright. <We hear the announcers calling the game.>
ANNOUNCER #1: And the Yankees take the field!
ANNOUNCER #2: What is with the Yankees? They look like they're having trouble running, they can't move!
ANNOUNCER #1: It's their uniforms, they're too tight, they've shrunk! They're running like penguins! Forget this game!
ANNOUNCER #2: Oh my God, Mattingly just split his pants!
JERRY: That's a shame.