stuns, i'am watching "fast and furios tokyo drift" on tntHD right now. is the culture in thailand similar to this movie?
yes
just thought i would copy/paste from diff forum random stories from the group i was with. some were before i got there, and i missed out on the more degenerate times, especially since we had to live in the sketch area before we found a place. if u know me irl don't judge me.
Okay, I haven't read the thread yet but I can give a couple of short hooker stories.
I hooked up with a girl who had some friends(WIFE), and shipitfma and I were going to meet up with them. I told him her friend liked him and that is was almost certain he could ship her for free that night. Since he wanted a whore, I told him I would find him one if her friend didnt put out as planned. All of us went to Changs to play pool for a while, and Shipitfma / Joel just sat there kind of tired, and looking like he had just taken tranquilizers. Eventually, both of our girls wanted to leave and the chance was gone.
Around 7 am, slightly drunk, we both left the pool hall without any girls. I told him I would get a girl, so the hunt began. We had an idea, since no street whores were to be found we simply asked scooter taxis to take us to find whores, and they did.
They drove us around for a while, and after a few minutes of whorelessness, Joel said something to the taxi driver, and he pulled over. The taxi driver then pulled out a small container of coke, and put a line on his hand, and Joel took the line. I had a line shoved in my face, so I obliged as well. So after we do the coke, our search for street whores continues.
They quickly take us to a shady massage place which is setting up to open, and within five minutes the girls are driving with us back to the hotel. Joel gets a decent looking girl, and there is a very plain, average looking girl who gets on with me. We get back to the hotel, I play connect-4 for a few hours with mine, and Joel goes up to the room to boom-boom, while I wait.
I basically just pay the girl around $5 US to get a taxi back after pwning her at connect four, and go to sleep. The next day I hear that the girl Joel took up to the room was a complete psycho, and she had been crying hysterically, making phone calls, and then putting him in a body lock, and in a completely serious tone while crying kept saying "im sorry". Eventually, she got kicked out, but had to be a scary experience given that she saw coke.
Apparently after she left, Joel walked in Erics hotel room, woke him up, and asked him to do a line off of his chest.
Cliffnotes:
ShipitFMA + Coke + Psycho Whores
precursor, i only paid for sex twice in thailand, and it was the 1st and 2nd day i was there...so the second day me and joel go to a bar and pick up girl from the top pic up there and another one. We go play pool for a couple hours and i go home with her. We go home and sexy time, and i wake up around noon with her cuddling with me (lol you are a whore wat are you doing). she starts kissing me and telling me bull**** like she likes me wants to see me again etc etc. Now after being in thailand for even a couple weeks you realize they are just fos and want gold.
next night i get drunk with friends and go back to her bar at ~2am. She tells me that she gets off at 4am and will meet me at my hotel, but doesnt want me to have to pay her barfine (if you take a girl home from work you pay a small amount to the owner) She tells me she doesnt want gold to come home with me but that she is late on her rent and needs help. obv seems like a con but when i find out she is asking for ~13$ i laugh and say ya sure ill be glad to help. Prolly should have been suspicious when she told me that she would cut me with a beer bottle if i didnt help her, but she laughed afterwards i was drunk so whatever (i have a propensity for crazy women anyways) So i go get more drunk with friends and end up passing out at my hotel and not answering my phone when she calls like 7 times.
Next night i meet up with 2+2er deepmindz and may (gangbang girl) and her friend oh that is visiting for a few days. Oh's english is laughable, she knows like 10 words tops and doesnt understand me at all, whilst she is about a 6 she is also pretty sexy, and it was pretty obv that she was into me...so we start getting drunk, then decide to go to the beer bars and play some connect 4 (these are whore bars) I try to walk around the one where the girl from last night works (jany). I get a text from jany saying "you butterfly you find new lady and ignore me with like a sad face or something...I just ignore it and go home with oh, who btw gave the best blowjob that is humanly possible*.
ok well around 4am joel comes in and does a line of coke off my chest but not really necessary to the story....around 7am i hear a pounding on the door to my room, and this girl yelling all this jibberish in thai, i flip ****, and oh looks at me with big eyes, so i guess this girl i saying some ****ed up ****. I look at my phone and see like 8 missed calls from her and some texts just in thai. I show oh and she gives me a look that clearly means this bitch is crazy.
Kat, the girl i was with most of the time i was in thailand worked at this hotel...we were friendly before as we would hang out and play connect4 or just drink or whatever, so she had my digits...she called me to tell me "crazy girl at your door, what you want do". I told her to get rid of her, and she abliged.
so whatever, i walk oh to a taxi, tell her i want to see her again but she doesnt know english so she gives me a blank stare, i realize im unlikely to get blown by such an expert again and decide to get lunch. Over the course of the next two days i get like 70 calls from jany and infinite texts, she shows up at my room the next two days at 7am yelling crazy **** again...and im semi legitametely scared for my life. I mean we are in thailand, this girl could easily get some friends and fk me up.
around this time i take out kat, obv avoiding anywhere near where jany works, and luckily we moved about 30km away to our house the next day. so i dont die....whether the girl was just a crazed drug user, liked me alot, mad about the 13 bones i didnt give her, or just trying to con me (worst con ever) i was fkin glad to move away where she didnt know i was. lifes good.
*best blowjob ever: (warning graphic but necessary imo)
so i walk into my room with oh, she instantly pins me to the wall and starts making out with me, we go to the bed and she gets on top, we start fooling around and the is kissing my chest. She pulls down my pants and starts kissing my thighs/hips, then starts to blow me. Im thinking to myself at this time that this is a fking good bj, this girl really knows what she is doing. then she throws me for a loop, as she continues to lick my cawk, she puts my balls in her mouth, and proceeds to lick my taint/ass, whilst jerking me off....it was one of those "aha" moments like when you started 3betting light in position or realized 5 buyins wasnt a good enough br...the funniest part, as im caming all over the place, i have about 1 minute before shipitfma comes barging into my room and without explaining anything does a line off my chest.
his second night in thailand and klinks first i get them both really really wasted and we go to an after hours joint that has more ladyboys than the non after hours joints in phuket.
I walk in and immediately see lots of ladyboys (it can be hard for people to regognise them given that its dark as fk in there and like the type of strobe lights you'd see at a rave). anyway, as the 3 of us are walking to the bar elic gets grabbed and we just shrugg and keep going knowing hes not far behind.
5 mins later me and klink go outside and see elic has been making out with a ladyboy for a good 5 minutes but we just laugh and think it'll make a good story and being able to take the piss out of him for it for the next 6 weeks is totally worth it.
a few minutes later he walks out with a ladyboy who's dragging him to go home with her (they'll get pretty forceful). Obviously this has gone on far enough, so i say "dude.........that's a dude". he looks disgusted, walks over the ladyboy follows but he's too drunk to speak to her/tell him no, so i just have to say "my friend....he too drunk....he no want....goodnight"
okay details may be hazy since I was incredibly drunk but:
On a night out in Patong, me and Hanley Ramirez (Lucas) seperated from the p-town group to go get Thai Massages. We had both drank around 1/4 bottle of Jack Daniels, a 3(?) litre of beer, and several shots of tequila/several beers extra each (standard). We were drunk.
I didn't have any cash, so I said I am just going to go home, but Lucas offered me a free massage! Ship.
After our massages (which are awesome, and around $5-$6 USD/hr), we decided to go home to our motorbikes. We both parked around different areas on the same street, so we parted ways. Or so I thought.
I stumbled around still very drunk trying to find my motorbike, and asked some Thai dudes if they knew where my bike was, and they laughed at me. I had never seen them before, so probably not worth asking.
I end up walk-walk-walking around looking for the motorbike, and eventually get hungry and thirsty. I go by Soi Bangla for the 7/11 and ATM. On my way to that big red ATM I get man-handled by a ladyboy, who wants me to go to her/his room to boom-boom. I decline and continue wakling to the ATM(some of them are very pushy, and aggressive)After arriving at the ATM, I fumble around for my wallet, and start to retrieve cash.
Debit card in ---> Withdrawll --> options 500 - 20,000 baht, ---> WTF--->
All of a sudden I get pushed to the side, and the $20,000 baht (around $600 USD) gets pressed!! The same ladyboy who had tried to ship me earlier is now robbing me!
In my drunken, surprised state, I think of doing nothing more than just grabbing my money and stuffing it in my pocket. The money survives quite a hard tug-of-war match, and I end up getting the money, and put it in my pocket. I have my wallet in my other hand, I suppose I forgot about it or something. The ladyboy grabs my wallet, (empty, bitch, suck that), and ends up taking out my ID for some reason. she tries to take my credit card, which initiates another tug of war, and I retrieve my card. This time, I had to push on her a little bit to retrieve the card (its harder to grab an debit card than a wad of cash).
After a few seconds, a random taxi driver comes out of nowhere, and socks the lady boy down to the ground, and I grab my card. The ladyboys phone flies to the ground from her pocket (I guess), and I grab that. The motorbike taxi grabs her hair, slams her into the ground, and mutters something very hateful in Thai. I tell the taxi she tried to steal from me, which he knew already, and then I tell him to get out of here. The ladyboy gets up, and starts calling someone, presumably the police.
I just want to GTFO, so I toss her her phone (dumb..), and tell the taxi to take me away. My bike is still on this street, but I don't know where. The taxi takes me down the road a bit, and I pay him 1000 baht (around $28 usd, a huuge amount, good tip for the lady-boy beat-down).
Eventually, I stumble around more, find my bike (right by the Thai dudes I had asked earlier, and they laughed at me again, f-ers). I start the bike, and go home.
After this whole debacle, I get home, and Lucas is still not home. I wondered wtf happened to him... and around 20 minutes later he gets home, still drunk.
He tells us he got pulled over on the way back home by a police officer, and he got a breathalyzer, which said he was way above the limit, and he had to go to "the monkey house". The officer whispered in Lucas' ear it is either a month in jail, or he can pay 10,000 baht (~$280 USD) and leave right now. Lucas obviously paid, and went home.
same dude w/ dui, we were going back from a night out, riding in a tuk tuk (open air taxi thing, combo between a truck and a motorbike), and he still has a glass from a club we were at. he decides to toss it out, while riding, it shatters really loud, and the driver gets pissed and threatens to take him to the police station. -1000 baht. he also missed like 10 flights, and overstayed his visa by 25 days which meant he had to pay 500 usd. lol.
So I'm out with ksuno1tunner one night and we're walking down one of then Soi's deciding which beer bar to drink at and play hammer game (you just gotta hammer the nail into the wood using the really small side of the hammer).
I see a cute girl at one and we go with it, i go to take a piss and come back to find him chatting to her and within like 10 mins they're ready to leave. (not cool on my part) He pays her barfine (money to get her off work etc...like 10usd).
Pretty soon the 3 of us are heading back to the house. Ted goes upstairs with her when we get home to bed and we don't see him till the next day. When he's getting her a taxi im sitting downstairs with him and ask how was but he kinda just looks at me. Im like uhhhh, wtf you didn't F her?....This leaves with with the most epic reply ever after someone has just spend the night with a whore
"Dude, I think shes a virgin"
So he's paid her money to bring her home and cuddle with her, leaving him thinking shes a virgin and him scoring the name Richard Gere from then on out (admittedly i scored that name first and czgory ended with it, but shrug)
Needless to say he copped a lot of **** for his naivety but due to extensive coaching clued up
pretty sure she said something like "this first time" or something, and i misinterpreted it. she also said she work at bar 3 weeks only, obv this is bs, and obv i believed it at the time. i was also really really drunk and couldn't get up, which was like 100% why nothing happened. girl ended up trying to make her sugar daddy, never had to pay again, just kind of used her i guess.
my motorbike crash;
the first 2 months, i never drove a motorbike. the roads were intimidating, and i am kind of a pussy. i would just always ride on the back, and eventually got the nickname "backpack". one night the ssnl house and a few other 2p2ers went out to phuket town (non-touristy area), and we were all outside of this club, getting ready to head somewhere else. i was sitting on the back of joel's bike, and he had to go take a piss real fast. he tells me to sit up front, but i drunkenly insist that i can balance on the back. i eventually listen, and sit up front. the feeling of having control over the motorbike was empowering though, and i decide to take the bike for a spin. unfortunately i didn't realize the throttle should not be turned all the way while starting the bike, and the instant it started, i zoomed off. because i hadn't really driven a bike, i panic, and for whatever reason kept the throttle down all the way, i didn't even think to use the brakes. my joyride didn't last long though, as there was a side-cart about 20 yards away, which i nail (still gunning the bike too). i was in so much shock that i didn't even try to steer away from it. i also do this in front of a bunch of random thai people chilling outside, so i looked like a complete idiot haha. luckily i escaped w/ only a few scratches, and there wasn't really any damage to the side-cart. however, there was some damage though to our bikes. on the way to our next destination, the front tire pops, and not long later, one of vadim's wheels go out, probably from the side cart hitting his bike. thankfully i did end up learning how to drive, and avoided any other accident the rest of the trip.
not from my group, but epic story imo.
My crash was pretty epic, but no one else has anything to add to my story and I was kinda blacked out so it's pretty hard to remember all the details. Basically the night started out in Hooker Row in Kata Beach, and I was getting pretty bored of ****ing around with those hookers at their individual ****ty bars because it was pretty much the same dumb **** connect 4 and JACKPOT! So I was drunk as **** and decided I would go to a better HOOKER club called safari which is a 25 minute ride on dangerous roads through a few jungles. At this point I was probably 20-25 shots drinks deep, and decide that taking a taxi will be 2 hard to find because really it is pretty hard to find a taxi in Phuket at these hours. So I ask all my friends if they want to ride on the back on my bike with me and obviously they all have more common sense and they all decline. They all try to stop me but I basically say **** you and continue. I see my buddy Alec (screech on 2+2) at the entrance of Hooker Row. He is drunk as **** and has many injuries at the time from a similar motorbike accident as I am about to get into, but I don’t care and ask him if he wants to join. He accepts and right as we are about to get to my bike he falls straight on his face onto the pavement, and has blood coming out of everywhere. I just stand there laughing at him pretty hard. I tell him to **** himself, and I get some thai hooker to take care of him and bring him home.
I then proceed to try to go to Safari on my ****ty motorbike. I am doing fine at first going like 60km/h but then I start to get bored with this speed, and try to see if I can max my bike out. I get up to about 100 km/h and realize how great I am doing, and how fun this is going this fast. I get to the main stretch of Kata and Karon? Beach where you turn onto the main road that gets you to Safari, which is like a suicide circle that you have to take a right on. Going straight will take you right onto a beach. I know the directions to Safari, but I am too drunk and it's too dark that I don't notice that I have too turn and go right into the beach at 100 km/hr. My bike flips and I land on my shoulder and my hip, and blackout for a few seconds. I notice blood pouring out of my leg all over the place, but realize I was pretty fortunate to land on the sand and not pavement somewhere else. I contemplate just laying on the beach tonight and sleeping and then dealing with my injuries and ****ed up bike in the morning. As I'm thinking I hear these lady boys coming over towards me, and I decide I must get the **** out of there. If you haven't been to Thailand, Ladyboys are pretty much the worst people ever they are loud, mean, and will try to steal from you. I decide to escape the ladyboys and drive away as fast as possible. I am so disoriented at this point that I just start driving in which direction I think the club safari is. I think to myself “**** it I'm a trooper I probably have a broken ankle, shoulder, and hip but I have to make it to this club.”
I drive for about 30 minutes, and realize I probably should of been there by now, but I am now in a town that I have never seen before. I have no clue what to do at this point, and realize I need to stop and get some help as there is blood pouring out of multiple parts of my leg. I get to this restaurant and see people outside so I decide I will stop there and they will probably help me. The people turn out to be really nice. It was two thai men, and a thai women. They cleaned up all my cuts and patched me up pretty well. Thai people are so nice that the lady suggested that I sleep in her room for the night because I was too drunk. The room was right above the restaurant that she owned. I drunkenly oblige and she lets me sleep in her bed while she closes her restaurant down. I pass out and she wakes me up and I don’t remember the exact details, but we go at it and I **** the **** out of her. I didn’t really want to stay after that and decide that I am sober enough now that I can drive home now. She doesn’t want me to go but I basically say thanks for the help I’m out. I get on my bike and realize I am still drunk as ****, but decide I can do it because I drive my car drunker all the time and this is only a silly motorbike. I drive for a while and I see that I’m coming up to the bar/hooker part of this town. I decide that I want to drink a little bit more and that I’ll stop and ask for directions because I don’t have the slightest clue where I am. I spot out a bar that looks pretty crowded and drive to the parking area but for some reason I am not slowing down. I am yelling crazily and going like 15 km an hour as two girls take me off the bike as it crashes into the bar. I decide that I don’t care and I am ready to get bombed. I sit down at a table by myself, and decide to order 2 vodka redbulls. There is a ****ing brit at the table next to me and gets in my face yelling “DON’T ****ING DRIVE YOUR MOTORBIKE PISSED” I guess that means drink and drive in gay English. I basically tell this guy to shut the **** up and continue to to drink about 10 more vodka red bulls while trying to mack on my waitress.
The waitress is digging me and I tell her that she should come home with me for the night. She says that she will, and I tell her that I am too drunk to drive home and she should drive the bike for me. On the ride home I am pretty much going crazy trying to make her crash, and we finally get back to my place and get to my bed. I **** her for a few minutes but decide that I am in too much pain by this point that I can’t even ****. I pass out, and wake up in the morning to her probably playing dumb pop songs on her phone. I don’t really want to know the damage to my body, but decide to look at my leg and there is a bruise from my knee to my hip, and I can’t move when I stand up. The girl is bitching about getting a ride home I tell her to **** off and walk home because I’m so ****ed up and hungover. Pretty much that’s the end to the story then I go to a Thai doctor and he tells me I have no injuries, but when I get home to America I learn that I have more than a few injuries.
huge wtf
a roommate went to get a massage in bangkok, and was surprised by a ladyboy. obviously this isn't going to fly, so he looks at his phone, gives her an "oh sh*t i gotta go, and leaves". while he is telling us this at some sketch afterhours club, some girl overhears, and thinks we are talking about her. i actually didn't see this going down, for whatever reason, i space out a lot. but apparently she started milking herself to prove that she wasn't a ladyboy? 
will post some more if i remember. some pics:
pub crawl...at every bar, we put our credit cards together, someone would say a number, and by the order, a card is taken away until one is left. loser picks the next drink, and buys the next round. first person to finish their drink didn't have to put in a card, loser puts in two. gambling was pretty much a part of everything, as every meal, taxi ride, game of pool/bowling, etc, had money on the line or was flipped for.
hammer game
muay thai boxing...really fun to watch, crowd get so into it.
we go tiger many time
<3 bkk, there were a lot of cool rooftop restaurants. bangkok also has a really nice skyline.
wanted shirt run bkk shirt, looked everywhere, but no have, eventually found on ebay. then i find pic online of adorable girl wearing it, so i am going to find her and make her my wife.
gee gee gee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BjAEdPIlss
