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Fan Life => The Endzone Dive => Topic started by: catdude33 on October 11, 2009, 08:59:44 PM

Title: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: catdude33 on October 11, 2009, 08:59:44 PM
Here's your chance to share your own personal close encounters with the North American Raccoon.  We've all had run ins with these little bandits, some pleasant, some not so much.  Here's my story:

OK, so the summer of 2005 I was working for Wildcat Tree Service in Manhattan, KS.  In late June we were cutting down a series of cottonwood trees in the backyard of a private home on the northwest side of manhattan.  As one of the trees hit the ground a family of raccoons spilled out the top.  A mommy and 4 babies scattered in all directions into the surrounding brush.  I laughed and laughed.  As I was laughing I looked at the mommy and caught a glimpse of something in her eye that seemed to say "it's not funny."  Well, I kept laughing because what does a raccoon know about what's funny and what isn't.  I wouldn't be laughing for long.

The next day, yes that's right the very next day, I was dropping my gf off at her apartment on 14th street, the ones right next to the burger king.  Not in the country at all, but pretty much in the middle of town.  As we are getting out of the car 7 or 8 raccoons are standing on hind legs in the grass in between 14th street and the parking lot.  They are on my gf's side of the car and as she got out she saw them and screamed a blood curdling scream that frightens me to this day.  Can't get that noise out of my head.  We rushed into her ground floor apartment and peeked through the blinds but they were gone.

Fast forward 4 days.  I am home for the weekend in Topeka.  I have never seen a raccoon at my parents home in Topeka, a place I lived for the first 18 years of my life.  I am sitting in the living room telling my parents about my run ins with the raccoons when I catch a glimpse of something through the sliding glass doors on the back deck.  Standing on all fours peering at me through the glass is the biggest raccoon I've ever seen.  I stopped mid sentence and pointed in the direction of the door.  My dad gets up to get a closer look and the raccoon vanishes into midair, or maybe down the stairs, no way of knowing.  To this day I've never seen a raccoon again at any of those places, or anywhere else for that matter.  Also this story is completely true and if you don't think it's weird then you need weird lessons.  The end.

 :scared:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: RonLongshaft on October 11, 2009, 09:06:19 PM
Momma would just push them off the porch with a broom
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: LimestoneOutcropping on October 11, 2009, 09:12:18 PM
When I was about 6, I woke up early Easter morning and saw that the Easter bunny had left a stuffed, plush toy beaver in my easter basket.  I snuck down the hall and saw that he had gotten a stuffe raccoon in his basket.  I switched them because I liked the raccoon better.  Went back to bed.  The raccoon was way better.  I win!
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: schreds21 on October 11, 2009, 09:37:10 PM
There is much more to this story but I'll ff to the end.  My brother had just finished the worst deer hunt of his life.  The story is long and absolutely hilarious.  Anyway, it is right at dark and as he reaches over the side of his truck to put his bow away, three coons go flying out of there, scaring the crap out of him.   :runaway: :runaway: :runaway:He had some corn and some apple syrup in the back that he had been using for bait.  The coons had got the lid off the syrup and broke open the bag of corn and it was all scattered in a big sticky corn mess in the bed of his truck.  He reached in the cab, grabbed his 45 and emptied it into the trees in the direction the coons had run.  Pretty sure he didn't hit a damn thing.   
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Cole on October 11, 2009, 09:47:56 PM
driving down Old 40, i ran one over with my truck. sorry little raccoon.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 12, 2009, 07:26:19 AM
There is much more to this story but I'll ff to the end.  My brother had just finished the worst deer hunt of his life.  The story is long and absolutely hilarious.  Anyway, it is right at dark and as he reaches over the side of his truck to put his bow away, three coons go flying out of there, scaring the crap out of him.   :runaway: :runaway: :runaway:He had some corn and some apple syrup in the back that he had been using for bait.  The coons had got the lid off the syrup and broke open the bag of corn and it was all scattered in a big sticky corn mess in the bed of his truck.  He reached in the cab, grabbed his 45 and emptied it into the trees in the direction the coons had run.  Pretty sure he didn't hit a damn thing.   

Your bro sounds like a huge POS human. 
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 12, 2009, 07:32:23 AM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: willie on October 12, 2009, 07:37:23 AM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Thread over.  I'm not telling my crapty story now. :-[
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: slucat on October 12, 2009, 12:57:17 PM
So in the way back times of the late 90's I was camping in Acadia Nat'l park in Maine with my old boyfriend.  We were chillin' by our fire drinking some captain and having a little of :BigToke: which made us crack into our s'mores stash. As we're enjoying our treats we hear some rustling in the bushes; a raccoon approaches us, we freak out, because he's totally close and keeps coming closer, we toss some rocks his way. He kept coming, we took off fearing it was going to "bite my calf", instead it grabbed the bag of marshmellows and took off.

Then a few minutes later we had regained some composure and we could hear him munching our 'mellows, soon enough he was coming back for more, this time I picked up a big rock and shotputted it toward the raccoon, but instead of landing near it, the rock landed on it and he spatted out like a cartoon, but rebounded and scurried off. 

Then I freaked out because I thought he was going to come back for blood and really bite my calf, so we went to bed after my boyfriend peed around the outside of the tent to prevent him from attacking us in the night.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: reidrolled on October 12, 2009, 01:04:40 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

my roommate also keeps raccoons as pets... he says they go crazy when they are about 3 years old because they want sexytime so bad :dunno:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 12, 2009, 01:15:13 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

my roommate also keeps raccoons as pets... he says they go crazy when they are about 3 years old because they want sexytime so bad :dunno:

Mine only went crazy awesome so I don't know what he's talking about
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 12, 2009, 01:16:00 PM
Oh, also, ours was named Blinky.  Another FTW animal naming by little kid sd :gocho:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: catdude33 on October 12, 2009, 01:40:45 PM
So in the way back times of the late 90's I was camping in Acadia Nat'l park in Maine with my old boyfriend.  We were chillin' by our fire drinking some captain and having a little of :BigToke: which made us crack into our s'mores stash. As we're enjoying our treats we hear some rustling in the bushes; a raccoon approaches us, we freak out, because he's totally close and keeps coming closer, we toss some rocks his way. He kept coming, we took off fearing it was going to "bite my calf", instead it grabbed the bag of marshmellows and took off.

Then a few minutes later we had regained some composure and we could hear him munching our 'mellows, soon enough he was coming back for more, this time I picked up a big rock and shotputted it toward the raccoon, but instead of landing near it, the rock landed on it and he spatted out like a cartoon, but rebounded and scurried off. 

Then I freaked out because I thought he was going to come back for blood and really bite my calf, so we went to bed after my boyfriend peed around the outside of the tent to prevent him from attacking us in the night.

Good idea to pee around the tent.  Will probably do this every time I camp now just as a precaution.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: pissclams on October 12, 2009, 03:17:13 PM
peeing around the tent is very elite, i wonder if the racoon who's back you broke died that night in the woods because she couldn't make it home to feed her cubs.  her back hurt so bad she probably gave up just a few yards away.  sad and lonely, the poor mushroom hoarding racoon left a nest full of hungry cubs to fend for themselves that winter.  none could make it through the cold maine winter though. 
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: cyclist on October 12, 2009, 03:28:22 PM
Now somewhere in the black mining hills of Dakota
There lived a young boy named Rocky Raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young Rocky in the eye Rocky didn't like that
He said I'm gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon.

Rocky Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy.
Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy.
Now she and her man who called himself Dan
Were in the next room at the hoedown
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said Danny boy this is a showdown
But Daniel was hot-he drew first and shot
And Rocky collapsed in the corner.

The doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said Rocky you met your match
And Rocky said, Doc it's only a scratch
And I'll be better I'll be better doc as soon as I am able.

Now Rocky Raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
A Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good Rocky's revival.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Fledermaus on October 12, 2009, 07:36:31 PM

I could be able to contribute decent stories to threads about black bears, opossums, squirrels, peccaries, howler monkeys, fer de lance, fruit bats, vampire bats, rattlesnakes, coati, echidnas, cane toads, sea lions, or rabbits.  Unfortunately, I have nothing to relate about raccoons except they tear up my birdfeeders and abducted my two pet turtles (Taj and Muddy, RIP).  Didn't see it happen directly, just saw the little footprints around the wading pool where the turtles lived.   :'(
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: pwrcat1 on October 12, 2009, 07:53:51 PM
I often wake up in the morning to find little paw prints all over my car, which is kinda weird. 

Also, I've been 'coon hunting one time in my life.  One got shot in the head and had half his brains hanging out but refused to die.  Just sat there pissed as balls.  Don't worry, this wasn't a nice, cuddly 'coon, but was a mean douchey one.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: FBWillie on October 12, 2009, 08:14:57 PM
One time I was out camping with my family; we were sitting 'round the camp fire when a coon came up; we thought it was cute so we tossed it some food.  It would take a piece scamper off then come back for more; we eventually scared it off and the little bastard came back later that night, ripped a hole in the tent we had our food in and ate all of our bread.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 12, 2009, 08:51:58 PM
I often wake up in the morning to find little paw prints all over my car, which is kinda weird. 

Also, I've been 'coon hunting one time in my life.  One got shot in the head and had half his brains hanging out but refused to die.  Just sat there pissed as balls.  Don't worry, this wasn't a nice, cuddly 'coon, but was a mean douchey one.

Remind me to kick your ass if we ever meet in person
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: pwrcat1 on October 12, 2009, 09:00:58 PM
I often wake up in the morning to find little paw prints all over my car, which is kinda weird. 

Also, I've been 'coon hunting one time in my life.  One got shot in the head and had half his brains hanging out but refused to die.  Just sat there pissed as balls.  Don't worry, this wasn't a nice, cuddly 'coon, but was a mean douchey one.

Remind me to kick your ass if we ever meet in person

Done. I warn you though, I made green belt in American Karate, when I was 11, before I quit to take up gymnastics. 
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Thin Blue Line on October 12, 2009, 09:36:31 PM
My 1st wife (obviously the "ex"), when just out of high school, swerved to avoid a 'coon one night. Her car went off the road and rolled. She ended up breaking her back, pelvis and femur. She ended up in a coma, having a rod put in her femur and was on crutches for months. Almost killed her. I love that 'coon.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Ben Ji 2.0 on October 12, 2009, 11:11:09 PM
I was over at my parents house the other night and their cat was just chilling by the sliding glass door.

All of a sudden there is a huge thump and the cat takes off across the room. I look over and there is a fox knocked the &@#% out on our back porch.Apparently it ran full speed at the cat not realizing there was a glass door between the two.

 After about 5 minutes it awoke from its slumber and strolled off. I would like to think a coon hungry for some pussy would of been clever enough to open the door.  :dunno:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 07:21:20 AM
I was over at my parents house the other night and their cat was just chilling by the sliding glass door.

All of a sudden there is a huge thump and the cat takes off across the room. I look over and there is a fox knocked the frack out on our back porch.Apparently it ran full speed at the cat not realizing there was a glass door between the two.

 After about 5 minutes it awoke from its slumber and strolled off. I would like to think a coon hungry for some pussy would of been clever enough to open the door.  :dunno:

JFC.  I was totally getting ready to drill you with some douche-baggy response like, "THIS ISN'T THE REAL FOX STORIES THREAD!" or something when you completely saved yourself by pointing out that Raccoons are smart.  G'job  :dancin:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: catdude33 on October 13, 2009, 07:56:15 AM
Agreed that raccoons are smart.  Actually Raccoons have 3 main personality traits:  Smartness, fear of pee (urine), and a strong desire for vengeance when they feel they have been wronged.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 07:58:49 AM
Agreed that raccoons are smart.  Actually Raccoons have 3 main personality traits:  Smartness, fear of pee (urine), and a strong desire for vengeance when they feel they have been wronged.

I would also argue that they have an unquenchable thirst for going to school with me on the school bus.  This would be the 4th personality trait imo.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: sys on October 13, 2009, 08:36:10 AM
sd always wins the racoon threads.  not even worth the time it takes to participate for the rest of us.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: sys on October 13, 2009, 08:37:50 AM
I could be able to contribute decent stories to threads about black bears, opossums, squirrels, peccaries, howler monkeys, fer de lance, fruit bats, vampire bats, rattlesnakes, coati, echidnas, cane toads, sea lions, or rabbits.

go for it!   :lick:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pete on October 13, 2009, 09:34:53 AM
I ran away from my home in Topeka in the month of May, when I was just a boy. I left with only a penknife, a ball of cord, a hatchet, $40 I had saved selling magazine subscriptions, and a flint and steel set that I had purchased at a Chinese merchant's store in the Potwin area of Topeka.

I got a ride with a man driving a truck South of Overbrook in search of my family's farm in Osage County. I spent a lonely first night in my small hemlock lean-to (a small tent-like structure that consists of a hemlock bow and a stump). I caught five catfish, but I failed to start a fire to cook them.

In the morning, I climbed a hill and discovered a small cottage near my cold and uncomfortable camp—it was the residence of an old man named Bill. Bill showed the me  how to prepare and cook his fish and—more important—how to make proper use of the flint and steel with which I had been unable to make a fire the night before. Unfortunately, it seemed like Bill had low confidence in me.

Finding my family farm, I established a dwelling in the stump of an immense old hemlock tree. I used a hand-axe and fire to expand a natural hollow into a home with space for a bed, stores of gathered foodstuffs, and even a small fireplace.

As the summer passed, my skills and knowledge of the Osage County prairie and of survival grew. I learned to live off the land by hunting small game and deer and by gathering a wide variety of edible plants and nuts. I made clothes, bedding, and other useful things from deer hide and rabbit fur.

I lived a free life in the wilderness for more than a year with my pet, a peregrine falcon named Frightful, whom I had captured as a chick and hand-reared. My neighbors in the forest included the free-ranging musteline "Baron" Weasel, and a raccoon that I named Jessie Coon James.

Those were heady days, to be certain...
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 09:40:14 AM
I ran away from my home in Topeka in the month of May, when I was just a boy. I left with only a penknife, a ball of cord, a hatchet, $40 I had saved selling magazine subscriptions, and a flint and steel set that I had purchased at a Chinese merchant's store in the Potwin area of Topeka.

I got a ride with a man driving a truck South of Overbrook in search of my family's farm in Osage County. I spent a lonely first night in my small hemlock lean-to (a small tent-like structure that consists of a hemlock bow and a stump). I caught five catfish, but I failed to start a fire to cook them.

In the morning, I climbed a hill and discovered a small cottage near my cold and uncomfortable camp—it was the residence of an old man named Bill. Bill showed the me  how to prepare and cook his fish and—more important—how to make proper use of the flint and steel with which I had been unable to make a fire the night before. Unfortunately, it seemed like Bill had low confidence in me.

Finding my family farm, I established a dwelling in the stump of an immense old hemlock tree. I used a hand-axe and fire to expand a natural hollow into a home with space for a bed, stores of gathered foodstuffs, and even a small fireplace.

As the summer passed, my skills and knowledge of the Osage County prairie and of survival grew. I learned to live off the land by hunting small game and deer and by gathering a wide variety of edible plants and nuts. I made clothes, bedding, and other useful things from deer hide and rabbit fur.

I lived a free life in the wilderness for more than a year with my pet, a peregrine falcon named Frightful, whom I had captured as a chick and hand-reared. My neighbors in the forest included the free-ranging musteline "Baron" Weasel, and a raccoon that I named Jessie Coon James.

Those were heady days, to be certain...

MY SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN!  Personal fave of sd's literary youth.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pete on October 13, 2009, 09:44:12 AM
I ran away from my home in Topeka in the month of May, when I was just a boy. I left with only a penknife, a ball of cord, a hatchet, $40 I had saved selling magazine subscriptions, and a flint and steel set that I had purchased at a Chinese merchant's store in the Potwin area of Topeka.

I got a ride with a man driving a truck South of Overbrook in search of my family's farm in Osage County. I spent a lonely first night in my small hemlock lean-to (a small tent-like structure that consists of a hemlock bow and a stump). I caught five catfish, but I failed to start a fire to cook them.

In the morning, I climbed a hill and discovered a small cottage near my cold and uncomfortable camp—it was the residence of an old man named Bill. Bill showed the me  how to prepare and cook his fish and—more important—how to make proper use of the flint and steel with which I had been unable to make a fire the night before. Unfortunately, it seemed like Bill had low confidence in me.

Finding my family farm, I established a dwelling in the stump of an immense old hemlock tree. I used a hand-axe and fire to expand a natural hollow into a home with space for a bed, stores of gathered foodstuffs, and even a small fireplace.

As the summer passed, my skills and knowledge of the Osage County prairie and of survival grew. I learned to live off the land by hunting small game and deer and by gathering a wide variety of edible plants and nuts. I made clothes, bedding, and other useful things from deer hide and rabbit fur.

I lived a free life in the wilderness for more than a year with my pet, a peregrine falcon named Frightful, whom I had captured as a chick and hand-reared. My neighbors in the forest included the free-ranging musteline "Baron" Weasel, and a raccoon that I named Jessie Coon James.

Those were heady days, to be certain...

MY SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN!  Personal fave of sd's literary youth.

I have no idea what you are talking about.  It was a very formative time for me.  I "came of age" that year.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: sys on October 13, 2009, 09:48:37 AM
i've heard of the book you're talking about, sd.  it's about some hick in ny with a deer killing fetish.  not sure i see any similarity to pete running away from home with the raccoons to live on the prairie.


any good stories with jessie, pete?  it'd be great to see someone take sd down a peg on raccoon stories.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: LimestoneOutcropping on October 13, 2009, 09:50:13 AM
I ran away from my home in Topeka in the month of May, when I was just a boy. I left with only a penknife, a ball of cord, a hatchet, $40 I had saved selling magazine subscriptions, and a flint and steel set that I had purchased at a Chinese merchant's store in the Potwin area of Topeka.

I got a ride with a man driving a truck South of Overbrook in search of my family's farm in Osage County. I spent a lonely first night in my small hemlock lean-to (a small tent-like structure that consists of a hemlock bow and a stump). I caught five catfish, but I failed to start a fire to cook them.

In the morning, I climbed a hill and discovered a small cottage near my cold and uncomfortable camp—it was the residence of an old man named Bill. Bill showed the me  how to prepare and cook his fish and—more important—how to make proper use of the flint and steel with which I had been unable to make a fire the night before. Unfortunately, it seemed like Bill had low confidence in me.

Finding my family farm, I established a dwelling in the stump of an immense old hemlock tree. I used a hand-axe and fire to expand a natural hollow into a home with space for a bed, stores of gathered foodstuffs, and even a small fireplace.

As the summer passed, my skills and knowledge of the Osage County prairie and of survival grew. I learned to live off the land by hunting small game and deer and by gathering a wide variety of edible plants and nuts. I made clothes, bedding, and other useful things from deer hide and rabbit fur.

I lived a free life in the wilderness for more than a year with my pet, a peregrine falcon named Frightful, whom I had captured as a chick and hand-reared. My neighbors in the forest included the free-ranging musteline "Baron" Weasel, and a raccoon that I named Jessie Coon James.

Those were heady days, to be certain...

MY SIDE OF THE MOUNTAIN!  Personal fave of sd's literary youth.

I have no idea what you are talking about.  It was a very formative time for me.  I "came of age" that year.

I can vouche for Pete's story.  He still carries a picture of Jesse Coon James in his wallet (made of Baron's hide) and he still raises several of Frightful's off spring in the back yard of his suburban home.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: pissclams on October 13, 2009, 09:53:30 AM
I too can vouche for Pete and his story as he's been bartering Frightful's eggs to me for heating oil that I obtain from a oil drill near my home.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: catdude33 on October 13, 2009, 10:13:16 AM

any good stories with jessie, pete?  it'd be great to see someone take sd down a peg on raccoon stories.

You didn't like my story?  Just think about it for a while and you will see how amazing it is.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pete on October 13, 2009, 10:30:02 AM

any good stories with jessie, pete?  it'd be great to see someone take sd down a peg on raccoon stories.

You didn't like my story?  Just think about it for a while and you will see how amazing it is.

That's a great story, but really doesn't have anything to do with raccoons.  Your story is merely about the powers of the nether regions punishing you for crimes against nature....could have been a possum or even a badger.  GMAFB about it being a "raccoon" story.

I'd like to add that many people think that I brought the raccoon with me from Topeka to the prairies of Osage County.  Not true.  That's just the story teller's taking liberties with the truth.  Pisses me off.  I mean, who takes a semi-domesticated raccoon from the big city of Topeka into the wild and then tries to pass it off that the raccoon could actually survive on the harsh Osage County prairie.  &@#%ing dolts.

Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Chingon on October 13, 2009, 10:37:17 AM
(http://www.technochitlins.com/archives/raccoon.jpg)

for sd...

(http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2414/2496112532_cf9b82fa05.jpg)
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 10:42:02 AM
Thanks chings.  Means a lot.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: kst8cat on October 13, 2009, 11:21:40 AM
Raccoons are mean, nasty, vicious creatures, and I like to pop a cap in 'em whenever I get a chance.  Those who view them as sweet, cuddly "pets" are f*cked in the head.

 :crazy:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 11:30:39 AM
Raccoons are mean, nasty, vicious creatures, and I like to pop a cap in 'em whenever I get a chance.  Those who view them as sweet, cuddly "pets" are f*cked in the head.

 :crazy:

hey bro, enjoy getting your ass kicked inside out by me whenever we meet.  tia.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Thin Blue Line on October 13, 2009, 11:57:14 AM
I ran away from my home in Topeka in the month of May, when I was just a boy. I left with only a penknife, a ball of cord, a hatchet, $40 I had saved selling magazine subscriptions, and a flint and steel set that I had purchased at a Chinese merchant's store in the Potwin area of Topeka.

I got a ride with a man driving a truck South of Overbrook in search of my family's farm in Osage County. I spent a lonely first night in my small hemlock lean-to (a small tent-like structure that consists of a hemlock bow and a stump). I caught five catfish, but I failed to start a fire to cook them.

In the morning, I climbed a hill and discovered a small cottage near my cold and uncomfortable camp—it was the residence of an old man named Bill. Bill showed the me  how to prepare and cook his fish and—more important—how to make proper use of the flint and steel with which I had been unable to make a fire the night before. Unfortunately, it seemed like Bill had low confidence in me.

Finding my family farm, I established a dwelling in the stump of an immense old hemlock tree. I used a hand-axe and fire to expand a natural hollow into a home with space for a bed, stores of gathered foodstuffs, and even a small fireplace.

As the summer passed, my skills and knowledge of the Osage County prairie and of survival grew. I learned to live off the land by hunting small game and deer and by gathering a wide variety of edible plants and nuts. I made clothes, bedding, and other useful things from deer hide and rabbit fur.

I lived a free life in the wilderness for more than a year with my pet, a peregrine falcon named Frightful, whom I had captured as a chick and hand-reared. My neighbors in the forest included the free-ranging musteline "Baron" Weasel, and a raccoon that I named Jessie Coon James.

Those were heady days, to be certain...

Not sure if it's a story about Jessie Coon James or being groomed by Bill the Molester. What's the rest of your story, Pete? It's been long enough, now, that you can relieve yourself of the burden you've been carrying for all, these miserable years. We are here for you.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 12:01:40 PM
My 1st wife (obviously the "ex"), when just out of high school, swerved to avoid a 'coon one night. Her car went off the road and rolled. She ended up breaking her back, pelvis and femur. She ended up in a coma, having a rod put in her femur and was on crutches for months. Almost killed her. I love that 'coon.

Are you sure that you are fully qualified to be giving a teen a ride to the football games?
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Thin Blue Line on October 13, 2009, 12:04:01 PM
My 1st wife (obviously the "ex"), when just out of high school, swerved to avoid a 'coon one night. Her car went off the road and rolled. She ended up breaking her back, pelvis and femur. She ended up in a coma, having a rod put in her femur and was on crutches for months. Almost killed her. I love that 'coon.

Are you fully qualified to be giving a teen a ride to the football games?

I'm allowed to dislike my ex. She was driving, sir, not me. Didn't even know the c*nt, then.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: kst8cat on October 13, 2009, 12:10:50 PM
Raccoons are mean, nasty, vicious creatures, and I like to pop a cap in 'em whenever I get a chance.  Those who view them as sweet, cuddly "pets" are f*cked in the head.

 :crazy:

hey bro, enjoy getting your ass kicked inside out by me whenever we meet.  tia.

Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Thin Blue Line on October 13, 2009, 12:11:34 PM
Raccoons are mean, nasty, vicious creatures, and I like to pop a cap in 'em whenever I get a chance.  Those who view them as sweet, cuddly "pets" are f*cked in the head.

 :crazy:

hey bro, enjoy getting your ass kicked inside out by me whenever we meet.  tia.

Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related

 :runaway:  :crybaby:  :runaway:  :crybaby:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 12:14:53 PM
My 1st wife (obviously the "ex"), when just out of high school, swerved to avoid a 'coon one night. Her car went off the road and rolled. She ended up breaking her back, pelvis and femur. She ended up in a coma, having a rod put in her femur and was on crutches for months. Almost killed her. I love that 'coon.

Are you fully qualified to be giving a teen a ride to the football games?

I'm allowed to dislike my ex. She was driving, sir, not me. Didn't even know the c*nt, then.

Good point. Continue with the raccoon stories.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Thin Blue Line on October 13, 2009, 12:59:42 PM
My 1st wife (obviously the "ex"), when just out of high school, swerved to avoid a 'coon one night. Her car went off the road and rolled. She ended up breaking her back, pelvis and femur. She ended up in a coma, having a rod put in her femur and was on crutches for months. Almost killed her. I love that 'coon.

Are you fully qualified to be giving a teen a ride to the football games?

I'm allowed to dislike my ex. She was driving, sir, not me. Didn't even know the c*nt, then.

Good point. Continue with the raccoon stories.

I still love that raccoon.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 04:13:22 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 04:16:07 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(

Nope, absolute fact.  I pretty much GRCOAT'd show and tell every year with him.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 04:19:53 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(

Nope, absolute fact.  I pretty much GRCOAT'd show and tell every year with him.

Well then why in the frack did you let something that sacred/cute run around your yard without any supervision? :curse:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 04:20:33 PM
Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related

And it's raccoon stories, not videos, JERK!!!
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 13, 2009, 04:25:33 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(

Nope, absolute fact.  I pretty much GRCOAT'd show and tell every year with him.

Well then why in the frack did you let something that sacred/cute run around your yard without any supervision? :curse:

  :crybaby:
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pett on October 13, 2009, 04:44:47 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(

Nope, absolute fact.  I pretty much GRCOAT'd show and tell every year with him.

Well then why in the frack did you let something that sacred/cute run around your yard without any supervision? :curse:

  :crybaby:

I know, we're in the same boat. It's gonna be ok. :'(
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Pete on October 13, 2009, 04:46:45 PM
Had a pet raccoon growing up.  It's mom died when it was a baby iirc and we just kept it.  Like, from age 4 to 9 or something.  Used to run after me when I went to get on the school bus and I'd have to hit the bus stairs at full speed and the driver slam the doors or he was going to school with me.  He would sometimes wash food in the dogs water dish.  He pretty much loved hotdogs more than any other food.  Strange dave family rule was no cats/dogs in the house but raccoons are allowed.  If you sat on the couch or a bench outside or something he would always crawl up on the back of it and rest his head on your shoulder.  Amazingly adorable.  Got hit by a truck while I was taking a nap one afternoon.  I cried like a 9 year old who's Raccoon had gotten hit by a truck.

Cutest story that I have ever heard. But please tell me that it was made up. Too sad of an ending. :'(

Nope, absolute fact.  I pretty much GRCOAT'd show and tell every year with him.

Well then why in the frack did you let something that sacred/cute run around your yard without any supervision? :curse:

  :crybaby:

Don't beat yourself up dude.  You would have had to Old Yeller that raccoon sooner or later.  That truck probably saved one of your loved ones from contracting rabies.

(NOTE:  spell check may attempt to put in "rabbis" when you misspell rabies....these two words are not synonymous and will materially change the inferred meaning of your post).
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: schreds21 on October 13, 2009, 10:04:20 PM
There is much more to this story but I'll ff to the end.  My brother had just finished the worst deer hunt of his life.  The story is long and absolutely hilarious.  Anyway, it is right at dark and as he reaches over the side of his truck to put his bow away, three coons go flying out of there, scaring the crap out of him.   :runaway: :runaway: :runaway:He had some corn and some apple syrup in the back that he had been using for bait.  The coons had got the lid off the syrup and broke open the bag of corn and it was all scattered in a big sticky corn mess in the bed of his truck.  He reached in the cab, grabbed his 45 and emptied it into the trees in the direction the coons had run.  Pretty sure he didn't hit a damn thing.   

Your bro sounds like a huge POS human. 



He also traps and used to hunt coons with dogs.  Pretty sure he probably got some of Blinky's relatives at one time or another.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: kst8cat on October 13, 2009, 10:24:14 PM
Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related

And it's raccoon stories, not videos, JERK!!!

OK, fine.  Here's a story for you.  Ever tried to have a vegetable garden while living in the country?  I bet you haven't.  Very tough to do if you have coons around.  I've had entire patches of sweet corn decimated overnight.  Same with watermelons and cantaloupe.  

Also, if you ever want to store any grain on a truck for more than a day, you better make sure you park it in a building without any holes in it or else the coons will get in.  More than once we have had coons get in the machine shed and pig out in the back of the wheat truck, then take a gigantic dump on the hood of the truck.  And in many cases, several dumps in one night (not to mention knocking over all our tools in the process).  :mad:  They will do the same thing to your combine as well if you park it outside.  Then we have had oats stored in the barn before, and they got in there and then crapped all over my sister's '67 Mustang.  I hate those nasty bastards!!!!!
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: steve dave on October 14, 2009, 07:21:58 AM
Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related

And it's raccoon stories, not videos, JERK!!!

OK, fine.  Here's a story for you.  Ever tried to have a vegetable garden while living in the country?  I bet you haven't.  Very tough to do if you have coons around.  I've had entire patches of sweet corn decimated overnight.  Same with watermelons and cantaloupe.  

Also, if you ever want to store any grain on a truck for more than a day, you better make sure you park it in a building without any holes in it or else the coons will get in.  More than once we have had coons get in the machine shed and pig out in the back of the wheat truck, then take a gigantic dump on the hood of the truck.  And in many cases, several dumps in one night (not to mention knocking over all our tools in the process).  :mad:  They will do the same thing to your combine as well if you park it outside.  Then we have had oats stored in the barn before, and they got in there and then crapped all over my sister's '67 Mustang.  I hate those nasty bastards!!!!!

YES!  GO-RA-CO-ONS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap! GO-RA-CO-ONS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap!

(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: sys on October 14, 2009, 09:07:36 AM
OK, fine.  Here's a story for you.  Ever tried to have a vegetable garden while living in the country?  I bet you haven't.  Very tough to do if you have coons around.  I've had entire patches of sweet corn decimated overnight.  Same with watermelons and cantaloupe.  

Also, if you ever want to store any grain on a truck for more than a day, you better make sure you park it in a building without any holes in it or else the coons will get in....  I hate those nasty bastards!!!!!

get a dog, dumbass.
Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: cyclist on October 14, 2009, 09:48:22 AM
Alligator Eats Raccoon   :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRbwOEFYtmA&feature=related

And it's raccoon stories, not videos, JERK!!!

OK, fine.  Here's a story for you.  Ever tried to have a vegetable garden while living in the country?  I bet you haven't.  Very tough to do if you have coons around.  I've had entire patches of sweet corn decimated overnight.  Same with watermelons and cantaloupe.  

Also, if you ever want to store any grain on a truck for more than a day, you better make sure you park it in a building without any holes in it or else the coons will get in.  More than once we have had coons get in the machine shed and pig out in the back of the wheat truck, then take a gigantic dump on the hood of the truck.  And in many cases, several dumps in one night (not to mention knocking over all our tools in the process).  :mad:  They will do the same thing to your combine as well if you park it outside.  Then we have had oats stored in the barn before, and they got in there and then crapped all over my sister's '67 Mustang.  I hate those nasty bastards!!!!!

YES!  GO-RA-CO-ONS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap! GO-RA-CO-ONS! Clap-clap-clapclapclap!

(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)(http://www.vpsingles.com/pics/raccoon.gif)

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Title: Re: Real raccoon stories thread
Post by: Brock Landers on October 14, 2009, 02:24:37 PM

any good stories with jessie, pete?  it'd be great to see someone take sd down a peg on raccoon stories.

You didn't like my story?  Just think about it for a while and you will see how amazing it is.


Your story started out awesome.  As I was reading it I thought you were going to say the group of raccooons you saw at your girlfriend's place was the same group of raccoons you had knocked out of the tree the day before, and they had staked her place out to deliver some vengeance.

Could have Hollywooded the ending a little more IMO, like maybe a ninja-style showdown featuring you encircled by raccooons with their tiny yet adorable fists of fury ready to deliver pain.