crimes you have committed (allegedly)

[KSUTOMMY]

Caught peeing off the top of a 4-6 story parking structure, when rent-a-cop called it in to his supv, I literally heard the supv  and said, "let him go!" and the rent-a-cop turned to me and said, "I'm gonna give you a warning... this time!"

[Pete]

me...

1. when i was 18, some friends and i once got a squeeze bottle of salt water and shot it into the coin return of a vending machine of the old manhattan holiday inn holidome. currently the clarion inn. got like twenty bucks in change. split it up evenly and we each had a couple of weeks worth of free 52 cent daras refills.

This is blowing my mind....was one of your friends a ninja or McGyver or something...salt water?  Who the eff knows how to do something like this?

[Saulbadguy]

Several federal crimes that involve phones, and hayes 300 baud modems.  You figure it out.

[dmartin]

attempted vehicular manslaughter (or something like that).  good cop/bad cop tried to convince me that I hit some dude on a motorcycle, while never putting a scratch on my car....

was friends with two guys that cleaned out an entire storage row building in a few nights by removing the panels from the inside after renting one of the units, then kept the stuff in their rented unit.  were not too bright.

[MrsJoker]

Vandalizing private property.

you don't say? wow, great "story". 

more to come later. stay tuned.

i am NOT falling for this.  



daris #2 aka the subway years- worked at a "subway" in highschool. we went skiing our senior year and "borrowed" 80 strips of precooked bacon to have for breakfast. also used to ring up footlongs (expensive ones with "double meat"), then "unring" them up and take the money and pocket it. only did this once a night. we'd wait for a "whale" to come in and them BAM! called it "making tips". also used to fill up cards with stamps and then take them to road highschool bball and fball games and use it to eat for free.

Totally used to fill up the cards with stamps, too...then we'd sell them.  (It was my big sister's idea)  Should have thought to ring up expensive footlongs, then unring them!  I bet we could have made more than with our stamped cards. 

Got in trouble for playing hide-and-seek one night, too.  I was hiding on top of one of the fridges, and was apparently blocking a camera!  Boss came storming in and yelled at me.  Did he have some secret look-out from his basement or WHAT?! 

[Dr Rick Daris]

me...

1. when i was 18, some friends and i once got a squeeze bottle of salt water and shot it into the coin return of a vending machine of the old manhattan holiday inn holidome. currently the clarion inn. got like twenty bucks in change. split it up evenly and we each had a couple of weeks worth of free 52 cent daras refills.

This is blowing my mind....was one of your friends a ninja or McGyver or something...salt water?  Who the eff knows how to do something like this?

kind of funny that you mention mcgyver. looks like it no longer works...

http://www.snopes.com/science/saltwater.asp


daris #3 aka mr. setapick. when i was in highschool, some friends and i invented a teacher called "mr. setapick" (set a pick). if you were in a situation where you needed someones attention diverted, you could always bring up that crusty old curmodgeon mr. setapick.

mr. setapick commonly made appearances in daras. person A would walk over to the bottled soda area and look around for a second and then walk back to the cashier and ask if they had fresca. this would usually be followed by the employee saying yes and pointing to the bottled soda area and then person A would explain that they had already looked and couldn't find it. the employee would then have to come out from behind the counter and walk over to the bottled soda area and help person A find the fresca. this would provide a good fifteen seconds for people on the other side of the store to stuff their pockets with fantastic things like beef jerky chew, etc.

[Johnny Wichita]

#1  Urinated in a Dairy Queen frozen yogurt mixer. 

[steve dave]

#1  Urinated in a Dairy Queen frozen yogurt mixer. 

frozen yogurt at DQ?  I've heard everything now.

[Johnny Wichita]

#1  Urinated in a Dairy Queen frozen yogurt mixer. 

frozen yogurt at DQ?  I've heard everything now.

10. Why have you discontinued frozen yogurt?

Unfortunately, frozen yogurt and our frozen yogurt products have been discontinued throughout our Dairy Queen system. It was discontinued because there was not enough demand for the product.

If you haven’t already, you may want to try one of our products like our no sugar-added DQ® Fudge Bar; no sugar-added DQ® Vanilla Orange Bar, or our no sugar added Chocolate Dilly® Bar.



I wonder why demand dropped off?!?!?!   

[yoga-like_abana]

Places you've taken a wizz @ could have a thread of its own.(don't make the thread)

[jtksu]

I dry humped the back of a giant bronze eagle's head down in Cozumel.  Guess the policia don't think simulating sex with the symbol of their country is funny.

[Dr Rick Daris]

daris #4- timebombs. used to put moon pies in daras microwaves and then turn the timer to ten minutes, close the door and walk out. then drive away and drive back ten minutes later and the whole store would be filled with smoke.

[pissclams]

all these supposed "crimes" has proven what a group of complete puds post here.

[yoga-like_abana]

daris #4- timebombs. used to put moon pies in daras microwaves and then turn the timer to ten minutes, close the door and walk out. then drive away and drive back ten minutes later and the whole store would be filled with smoke.

speaking of places I've peed at. 

[MeatSauce]

stole the rice cooker from Hunan in A'ville in the middle of drunk eating time one Sat. night.  It was a 5 man heist job that was executed brilliantly.  We do small jobs if anyone is interested.

[Dr Rick Daris]

all these supposed "crimes" has proven what a group of complete puds post here.

yeah man. i totally know what you mean. i mean, it's like mine are all great crime stories riddled with details that paint a shockingly vivid portrait of a young, daring and aristocratic criminal. then you have a story of someone peeing on something. oh well.

[WillieWatanabe]

Sounds like most of you people are riley rats.

[CHONGS]

Clean slate here folks.

and yes I am judging all of you.

[Poster formerly known as jthutch]

A group of us were out crusing around the dirt roads and had some hair spray and lighters making flame throwers we decided to light some traffic signs of fire.  We burned down the welcome to Plevna sign  .

[Pexikan]

I used copious amounts of drugs.

[CNS]

I have a "friend" who broke into a car lot right on the highway near where he used to live and wrote new advertising slogans on all the vehicle windshields in white shoe polish.    My "friend" had a reward posted in the local paper for anyone who could name him.  No one ever did and he is still out there.  

[PandaXpanda]

i ran from the police in a 15 passenger hy-vee catering van when i was 18.

[Brock Landers]

In college I helped a friend smuggle steroids across the US - Mexico border.   

[Poster formerly known as jthutch]

In college I helped a friend smuggle steroids across the US - Mexico border.   

Did you "keester" them?

[wetwillie]

In college I helped a friend smuggle steroids across the US - Mexico border.   

you smuggled drugs into mexico?