Haters guide to the top 25

[nicname]

http://deadspin.com/5620076/the-2010-haters-guide-to-the-top-25

[mcmwcat]

10. Virginia Tech: I'm really tired of this team being a "dark horse" national title contender. Pencil them in for 10 boring-as-eff wins and a forgettable bowl victory and let's never speak of them again. Know why every analyst creams his jeans watching your special teams? Because watching your offense is like trying to watch two fat people buttfuck without lubricant.

lolsslol

[hemmy]

http://deadspin.com/5036795/the-balls-deep-haters-guide-to-the-top-25

13. Kansas

I think we all know Mark Magino far prefers the Sugar Bowl to the Orange Bowl. I once heard that, while waiting for an appetizer, the coach consumed every pack of Sugar In The Raw at his table. Then he ate the busboy.

[AbeFroman]

19. Penn State: Listen, I don't wanna say mean things about Joe Paterno. He's a national treasure and a sweet old man. But he's gonna poop himself on the sidelines this year. He is. Someone will ask him over the headset if he's happy with the defensive formation and he's not gonna hear them because he'll be too busy unloading into the cheesecloth he wrapped around his Jockeys. Then he'll have to stay still the entire half so that no one will know, with poop running down his gimpy old leg the whole time. Then he's gonna go into the locker room and be like, URRGH I crap MYSELF AGAIN, BOYS! Then they'll have to wipe him off and wheel him back out. I don't want that to happen. It's not right. Let the man go out with dignity. Cut his oxygen tank tube.

[broXcore]

2. Ohio State: Oh, sweet rough ridin' Jesus, you people again? Haven't you people pissed away enough titles? Shouldn't you be banished to NAIA so that we don't have to see you lose the national title by 47 points to an SEC team? It's because of YOU that people from the South are actually starting to feel good about themselves again. That is crap.

I've been to Columbus. It's the kind of place no one would ever live voluntarily. You either live there because you can't afford to live anywhere else, or because the judge put a travel restriction on your DUI probation. Tear the roof off a rough ridin' Houlihan's, expand the size of it to 50 square miles, and that's Columbus. Just one big generic pile of crap. They should have just named it "City."