midlife crises

[sys]

we're about at that life stage now, no?  anyone (else) experiencing one?


personally, i'm maybe doing so?  i've basically hit my financial goals and am in a position to execute on my life plan (not work, not live in fresno and instead spend my time rough ridin' around w. snakes), but i'm no longer sure that's what i want or what my wife would tolerate.  it's a weird feeling.

[steve dave]

good thread sys. I have a lot of stuff to ask for help with here.

[Katpappy]

That ship has sailed for this guy.  Need one asking about fear of dying.

[steve dave]

I'm 43 and am in a very weird spot in my life where I coach an 11U travel baseball team, 5th grade football team, 7U girls basketball team, and have my regular job. I've turned down pretty intensive executive roles because I don't have the bandwith for it and my family stuff. I'm terrified that in 5'ish years all that goes away and then what am I doing? Just work crap? doing business meetings with business people? hound my kids about their day? talk to my wife about something other than our kids schedules and calendar entries?

[steve dave]

we're about at that life stage now, no?  anyone (else) experiencing one?


personally, i'm maybe doing so?  i've basically hit my financial goals and am in a position to execute on my life plan (not work, not live in fresno and instead spend my time rough ridin' around w. snakes), but i'm no longer sure that's what i want or what my wife would tolerate.  it's a weird feeling.

have you considered coaching a youth basketball team?

[sys]

have you considered coaching a youth basketball team?

i haven't.

i'm more trying to decide between:  plan a (pretend i'm a grad student doing snake stuff again), plan b (eff around with cows and sheep), plan c (just spend all day on twitter and message boards).  it's weird not having a strong preference btwn the three, but even more it's like, my preferences have changed enough in the last ten years, how can i be confident in what i'm going to want to be doing ten years from now?

[TheHamburglar]

Mrs. Hamburg & I just had a serious conversation about hobbies. She has hobbies. I don’t. I mess with something for 2 months then move on. I want to be able to comfortably retire at 55ish. I probably won’t, but I’ve seen enough people have jobs they like that then change in their mid-50s & they still have to slog out 7 more years in a job they hate. I don’t want that. However, she’s worried that I won’t know what to do if I do retire early. She’s not really pushing me on it now because I have years until retirement, but she’s already thinking about it. It’s not really a midlife crisis, but it’s a realization that the kids will be out of the house in 10 years & what the hell am I am going to do with the rest of my life.

[AST]

I been on a solid one for about the past 10 months.  Think I am about to pull out of it though.

[Spracne]

have you considered coaching a youth basketball team?

plan b (eff around with cows and sheep)

Such a stereotype, smh

[chum1]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

[steve dave]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

nobody, on their death bed, says "I wish I had coached less youth basketball"

[Phil Titola]

Mrs. Hamburg & I just had a serious conversation about hobbies. She has hobbies. I don’t. I mess with something for 2 months then move on. I want to be able to comfortably retire at 55ish. I probably won’t, but I’ve seen enough people have jobs they like that then change in their mid-50s & they still have to slog out 7 more years in a job they hate. I don’t want that. However, she’s worried that I won’t know what to do if I do retire early. She’s not really pushing me on it now because I have years until retirement, but she’s already thinking about it. It’s not really a midlife crisis, but it’s a realization that the kids will be out of the house in 10 years & what the hell am I am going to do with the rest of my life.

Have you considered being a youth basketball coach?

[mocat]

have you considered coaching a youth basketball team?

plan b (eff around with cows and sheep)

Such a stereotype, smh

i'm not a biologist but i think one of the benefits of mumping around with cows and sheep is you don't even need to get plan b

[wetwillie]

Hopefully when I need to check this thread in 10 years it will be full of good advice

[chum1]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

[steve dave]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

what kind of crap?

[Spracne]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

what kind of crap?

1.) Go skydiving
2.) Go Rocky Mountain climbing
3.) Go 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu
4.) Love deeper
5.) Speak sweeter (should be more sweetly)
6.) Give forgiveness you've been denying

[CNS]

I started the Chum plan about 6 months ago. 

I made a list(no certain order):
1. Nazare Portugal.  I saw the HBO thing about 100ft waves and I have to see those in real life before I die.
2. I want to go see the Northern Lights in one of the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, or something like that.  I want one of those bungalow things where it's dark as eff and just wild space light.
3. I want to go on a hike trip in a Dark Sky refuge where we can get the absolute best view of the Milky Way available in the US.
4. I want to hike as much of the Utah national parks as I can before getting bored with them.
5. I want to see a glacier and hike that [redacted].  Probably can roll this one in with #2.

There are other things, but this is an example.

[Cartierfor3]

Decided at age 40 to change careers. Was in ministry, quit, started subbing at schools to kill time and I loved being at in a classroom. So I enrolled in a masters program and plan on teaching high school in about a year. Going back to school has been good/hard/weird.

[steve dave]

Decided at age 40 to change careers. Was in ministry, quit, started subbing at schools to kill time and I loved being at in a classroom. So I enrolled in a masters program and plan on teaching high school in about a year. Going back to school has been good/hard/weird.

This is a really good one and I bet that ends up being a great move for you


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[Cartierfor3]

Thanks SD. Had to remind myself if I retire at 65-70ish I still have more work years ahead of me than behind. We made some good choices financially early in our marriage that has allowed me to make less money for a couple years and still stay afloat.

[Cartierfor3]

I'm 43 and am in a very weird spot in my life where I coach an 11U travel baseball team, 5th grade football team, 7U girls basketball team, and have my regular job. I've turned down pretty intensive executive roles because I don't have the bandwith for it and my family stuff. I'm terrified that in 5'ish years all that goes away and then what am I doing? Just work crap? doing business meetings with business people? hound my kids about their day? talk to my wife about something other than our kids schedules and calendar entries?

I think you'll do well when your life season changes. Use Pete as a life template for how to handle all that when the kids are older.

[michigancat]

I'm pretty much content with whatever. Have you midlife crisis-havers considered doing that? Huh?

[chum1]

Look, you have a limited number of years before your body starts to really suck crap. Think about all of the epic crap you didn't do when you were younger because of life. The stuff that makes you think, "man, it would kick so much ass if I could do that." Make plans to do that stuff. Educate yourself about that stuff. Train your body for that stuff. Then, do that stuff.

yeah, that's fun to say. but irl nobody does that. have to start small.

That's what I'm saying. Start small now. Because if it's truly epic crap, it's gonna take a lotta work to make it happen. I have plans to do stuff in 6-8 years that I've started working toward now. It gives me tons of purpose for when my kids are out on their own.

what kind of crap?

Whatever you think kicks ass. Like, play around at local bars with a band. Or play in the local symphony. Or act in the local theater. Shred up a bowl on a skateboard. Or be an expert snow skier doing jumps and stuff. Compete in tournaments for like chess or ping pong or badminton or whatever.

[cfbandyman]

I started the Chum plan about 6 months ago. 

I made a list(no certain order):
1. Nazare Portugal.  I saw the HBO thing about 100ft waves and I have to see those in real life before I die.
2. I want to go see the Northern Lights in one of the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, or something like that.  I want one of those bungalow things where it's dark as eff and just wild space light.
3. I want to go on a hike trip in a Dark Sky refuge where we can get the absolute best view of the Milky Way available in the US.
4. I want to hike as much of the Utah national parks as I can before getting bored with them.
5. I want to see a glacier and hike that [redacted].  Probably can roll this one in with #2.

There are other things, but this is an example.

There was/is a fantastic place in Akureyri Iceland for that. Has a hot tub and overlooks a fjord and to the north.