Vlad: Joe I’m going to take Crimea and you’ll do nothing.
Joe: Say is that caviar fresh?
Vlad: I’m going to send our military into Syria to take advantage of your idiotic destabilization of the Assad regime.
Joe: The shrimp cocktail looks great
Vlad: I’m then going to send mercenaries to Libya to take advantage of your dumbass attempt to cover Sarkozy’s corruption and the fact that your boss is best buds with that loser.
Joe: I like to feel up little girls.
Vlad: I’m then going to fool your entire national law enforcement and intelligence complex into thinking that I am controlling your entire election process by deploying a few bot farms. Your dumb boss and his national security advisor will do nothing. I will then co-opt your entire political party to launch a delegitimization campaign that will undermine your entire method of self governance. You will be my millions of useful idiots.
Joe: Can I see Kraft’s Super Bowl ring.
Vlad: When you are elected you will be my good friend President Xi’s bitch.
Joe: You can count on that Vlad.