I couldn't fall asleep. I have more to say. I work a manual labor job that pays me north of 55k a year. I live in an apt that costs me 800 a month. I have full internet and cable. I don't mince with my thermostat, I keep it where I want.
I'm a guy that skipped 3rd grade, IQ tested at 148, had Duke mailing me letters, to a guy that got bad grades in HS and graduated at 16 with a 2.3 gpa. I was always behind in sports, but excelled where I was placed.
I've worked any manner of jobs and been successful at all types. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and substance abuse.
I know I'll never be truly happy, I know the life I once had as my path with never happen. I struggle everyday with this. The fact that I mumped up Duke, that I mumped up KSU, that I mumped up Washburn, that I am back in the workforce busting my ass when I'm a year away from a degree in biochemistry. I lament over the loves I've lost. I regret the way I have mistreated many in my past. I haven't seen my father since 2004 or spoken to him since 2007. I have, in the past, sliced myself wide open to punish myself for failure. Ive been hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I've been homeless in the winter for 4 months, thankfully I had a car and chose a rest stop with wifi. Ive been so wanting to be drunk to that I drank mouthwash to numb my homeless pain and ended up being a homeless grown man with frost bite having to change his underwear in near 0 temps from shitting himself. I was raped 4 years ago, yes by a guy, yes in my ass. Yes it hurt terribly. But I blamed myself because I was too drunk to defend myself. In reality, I was a mess, I should have sought help, but a terrible person took advantage of my terrible state.
I could go on, but my main point was to say that I've seen life's highs and lows. I'm here because I am a rough ridin' warrior. I never feel anyone is smarter than me and not more athletic. Im open to all challenges. I've beaten a lot of ass and had my face beat it just as many times. Fighting isn't about winning or losing. It's standing up and being heard.
I hope this explains some of my posting. But here today, I have a great job, a great apt, a great relationship with Canary, and my mother and sister. I love the #unclife that I have.
Just don't come weak and winey or act too tough. I'll always be mouthy about it.
Oh and P.S. I am THAT good looking.
P.S.S. but my dick is tiny
