Getting married next month..

[pissclams]

if you lie to the priest about anything before getting married it nullifies your marriage.  looks like it's time to meet up with some strippers and get laid tonight! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

meet me at dr.loves at like 9 o'clock.  check pm.

[steve dave]

True marriege type story relative to living together:

Got married in a Catholic church (the one next to the alumni center).  We did the pre-marriage catholic class deal with a priest in Omaha where we had to go meet with him once a week for, like, 6 weeks.  Anyway, here is a convo. we had as I remember it:

priest:  Where do each of you live?
me: together in an apartment on Blondo Street
priest:  I discourage you from living together prior to marriage.  I challenge you to get seperate residences.
me: not happening padre
priest:  why not?
me: seems like too much hassle.  we're going to live together in 4 months so getting another lease that short would be senseless.
priest: the church looks down on living together prior to marriage
me: yeah, got it, can we still get married?
mrs. dave:  
priest: well, I suppose
me:  awesome, high five (raises hand for high five)
priest: (looks confused for a second but then smirks and returns high five)
mrs. dave:  

we had to meet with a guy too. i was told to lie about the fact that we were living together. i was like "really? you want me to lie to the god guy about something? it seems like that's the last thing i should be doing. whatever though."

Yeah, sdbro did the lie thing.  Me, being a good christian, told him flat out we were doing the dirty pretty much every day for the past 3 years or so.  It's what jesus would have wanted imo.  

[Poster formerly known as jthutch]

<---- We had seperate apartments but she pretty much lived with me full time.  But because she still payed rent somewhere else I didn't have to lie, also we are so filthy rich having 2 places was really no big deal. 

[Dugout DickStone]

True marriege type story relative to living together:

Got married in a Catholic church (the one next to the alumni center).  We did the pre-marriage catholic class deal with a priest in Omaha where we had to go meet with him once a week for, like, 6 weeks.  Anyway, here is a convo. we had as I remember it:

priest:  Where do each of you live?
me: together in an apartment on Blondo Street
priest:  I discourage you from living together prior to marriage.  I challenge you to get seperate residences.
me: not happening padre
priest:  why not?
me: seems like too much hassle.  we're going to live together in 4 months so getting another lease that short would be senseless.
priest: the church looks down on living together prior to marriage
me: yeah, got it, can we still get married?
mrs. dave:  
priest: well, I suppose
me:  awesome, high five (raises hand for high five)
priest: (looks confused for a second but then smirks and returns high five)
mrs. dave:  

we had to meet with a guy too. i was told to lie about the fact that we were living together. i was like "really? you want me to lie to the god guy about something? it seems like that's the last thing i should be doing. whatever though."

Yeah, sdbro did the lie thing.  Me, being a good christian, told him flat out we were doing the dirty pretty much every day for the past 3 years or so.  It's what jesus would have wanted imo.  

Pretty sure my wife lied as I sat there and looked at my cell phone.  Our meetings consisted of me looking out window impatiently, tapping foot, looking at phone, 6 restroom visits, drinking a starbucks, lots of stretching and twisting and maybe 3 spoken words each weekly visit.  Got married in the Gold Dome downtown. 

[CNS]

I had to go through meetings too.  

During my meetings, the guy asked us about living together and if we have ever   together.  

We straight up told him that we are doing both.  

He went on to ask if we had broken up since we started seeing each other.  Told him no.  He said that he wished we had broken up, been with others, then got back together.

He said it was for perspective.  I think he was trying to live out a dirty sex life through others.  

[The42Yardstick]

True marriege type story relative to living together:

Got married in a Catholic church (the one next to the alumni center).  We did the pre-marriage catholic class deal with a priest in Omaha where we had to go meet with him once a week for, like, 6 weeks.  Anyway, here is a convo. we had as I remember it:

priest:  Where do each of you live?
me: together in an apartment on Blondo Street
priest:  I discourage you from living together prior to marriage.  I challenge you to get seperate residences.
me: not happening padre
priest:  why not?
me: seems like too much hassle.  we're going to live together in 4 months so getting another lease that short would be senseless.
priest: the church looks down on living together prior to marriage
me: yeah, got it, can we still get married?
mrs. dave:  
priest: well, I suppose
me:  awesome, high five (raises hand for high five)
priest: (looks confused for a second but then smirks and returns high five)
mrs. dave:  

I just five-starred this post

[Dirty Sanchez]

if you lie to the priest about anything before getting married it nullifies your marriage.  looks like it's time to meet up with some strippers and get laid tonight! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

meet me at dr.loves at like 9 o'clock.  check pm.

Dr. Love's?  Dude, how old are you and when was the last time you were in Manhattan?

[Pete]

True marriege type story relative to living together:

Got married in a Catholic church (the one next to the alumni center).  We did the pre-marriage catholic class deal with a priest in Omaha where we had to go meet with him once a week for, like, 6 weeks.  Anyway, here is a convo. we had as I remember it:

priest:  Where do each of you live?
me: together in an apartment on Blondo Street
priest:  I discourage you from living together prior to marriage.  I challenge you to get seperate residences.
me: not happening padre
priest:  why not?
me: seems like too much hassle.  we're going to live together in 4 months so getting another lease that short would be senseless.
priest: the church looks down on living together prior to marriage
me: yeah, got it, can we still get married?
mrs. dave:  
priest: well, I suppose
me:  awesome, high five (raises hand for high five)
priest: (looks confused for a second but then smirks and returns high five)
mrs. dave:  

I just five-starred this post

Ya, I just read it ouloud to my wife while I was laughing....I should have composed myself first, because I could have done it better if I had made up voices for each character....I do a decent SD, it's basically a mix between Cary Grant and Sean Connery.

[EllToPay]

Next week.

[The42Yardstick]

Next week.

You poor bastard

[Do Work Son]

Next week.

GAME OVER

[jtksu]

I didnt read this entire thread, so hopefully this hasn't already been covered:  Good advice for any man who is about to be married is to develop a serious drinking problem.  Nothing stabilizes a union more than one of the partners being half-cocked at all times.  If your wife ever says anything disparaging about your newfound alcoholism, smack the crap out of her.  If she doesn't like it, show her the part of the bible that says a husband is allowed to beat his wife.  Gotta lay the ground rules early bro, or that chick will run your life for like the next 3 or 4 years.  Also, PIITB on your wedding night, whether she agrees to it or not.  Ground rules, bro.  Ground rules.

[pissclams]

if you lie to the priest about anything before getting married it nullifies your marriage.  looks like it's time to meet up with some strippers and get laid tonight! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

meet me at dr.loves at like 9 o'clock.  check pm.

Dr. Love's?  Dude, how old are you and when was the last time you were in Manhattan?

it was a joke, guy

[EllToPay]

[Patrick Bateman]

No worries!

[WillieWatanabe]

my cousin is getting married this weekend...hmmm..   

[EllToPay]

Are ETP and WillieWannabe related?

[WillieWatanabe]

Are ETP and WillieWannabe related?

OMG, my cousin is 25.

 

[dmartin]

if you lie to the priest about anything before getting married it nullifies your marriage.  looks like it's time to meet up with some strippers and get laid tonight! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

meet me at dr.loves at like 9 o'clock.  check pm.

Dr. Love's?  Dude, how old are you and when was the last time you were in Manhattan?

that was a one time mistake, never to be made again. (hence one time mistake)

[Saulbadguy]

Wifes parents, pretty religious and stuff. They love Jesus and all that.

Me thinking about whether or not they will pay for the wedding knowing their daughter will get married to a Jew:

Me assuring them no conversion will take place....but won't make any promises about the offspring:

[Johnny Wichita]

No worries!

Speaking of getting married.....

[Patrick Bateman]

No worries!

Speaking of getting married.....

Oh, I forgot to congratulate you on your nuptials.

[Johnny Wichita]

Don't be silly.  CONGRATS TO MR AND MRS PATRICK BATEMAN!!!  Does Mrs Bateman have cool business cards also?