Thread for Michigancat and Friends to Put Mommyblogs in the Boston Crab

[michigancat]

This isn't directly related to a mommy blog, but...

I hate it when Moms say something like "I am so glad she (the kid) chose us to be her parents."

I mean come on.

No one says that.

[michigancat]

This isn't directly related to a mommy blog, but...

I hate it when Moms say something like "I am so glad she (the kid) chose us to be her parents."

I mean come on.

No one says that.

Do they?

[Tobias]

[Mrs. Gooch]

This isn't directly related to a mommy blog, but...

I hate it when Moms say something like "I am so glad she (the kid) chose us to be her parents."

I mean come on.

No one says that.

Do they?

One of my FB friends posted it on her status. It is not the first time I have heard/seen it.

[Dr Rick Daris]

i am not lying when i say that i could read and make fun of self important mommy blogs all day long. so fun.

[Dr Rick Daris]

i mean come on 

So, why the name Beauty Through Imperfection?
 
I have struggled with insecurity a lot in my life because I felt like I needed to be perfect. There is nothing wrong with trying to improve yourself, and to fix your shortcomings, but when you are constantly feeling bad because you aren’t perfect, well, that’s just not healthy. As a new mom, I would get discouraged because I always looked around and saw people that seemed perfect, blogs I would read, people I would meet, every one was acting like they had it all together, and it made me feel inadequate. My hubby would constantly encourage me that there’s no such thing as a perfect mom, and that I was doing great because I love my kids and I take care of them, but I still felt unsure.

[mocat]

this is truly a unifying experience for goEMAW. can we keep em coming please?

[michigancat]

the word hubby

[Mrs. Gooch]

the word hubby

I agree.

[mocat]

but i still felt unsure

[Dr Rick Daris]

that whole things reads like a canned response to the interview question "tell me your biggest weakness".

[SkinnyBenny]

Posting not to mock the recovery thing; posting to mock the general self-indulgence and specifically the "I was Supermom" part.

I should start out by saying getting all feisty on Facebook is not something I normally do. In fact, I'm not even sure this IS the right thing to do, but something has been eating at me for a few days, and I feel like I need to say something.

The other day I noticed a meme was being passed around several of my Facebook groups. Most of these are groups for moms, where we share play date ideas, talk about teachers / school issues, and ask for advice and guidance from other moms. The meme was of photo of a wine bottle, with the heading "The most honest gift to a teacher I've ever seen." The bottle had a label with a photo of a child, and the words "Our child might be the reason you drink, so enjoy this bottle on us."

Now, I see memes every day on Facebook about drinking. I mean, you'd be blind to miss them. Memes about beer and wine and Friday and work hard/play hard, etc. But this one bothered me. And it was everywhere. When I read it, I felt a pit in my stomach. And that pit started to churn until I was almost enraged. I was pissed, you guys.

Because here's the thing...it's not f'ing funny. It's not.
If you are a friend, you probably know I'm a person in long term recovery, which for me means I no longer drink alcohol. However, I don't judge those that do. I get that for many people, drinking is not an issue. Lots of people drink socially or have a drink or two, and everything is fine. I am not one of those people, but if you are, great! Enjoy!

But there are many, many of us who cannot drink alcohol without having problems. It shouldn't be shocking, alcohol is an addictive drug. Yes, it's legal, but it's still a drug. In fact, it's a drug that kills 88,000 people in the U.S. per year (not counting the additional 10,076 people who are killed annually in alcohol-impaired driving crashes). It's a drug that is affecting women and mothers in record numbers. It's a drug that is killing mothers and leaving children motherless.

It's dangerous to blame our children for our drinking, even in jest. I know, because I certainly did it. I was supermom, working 50+ hours a week, raising kids and keeping a home in order. I deserved a glass of wine. I needed it. I said it was to relax, but it wasn't. It was to numb out. Mothering isn't easy, and it can be extremely overwhelming. I was exhausted from lack of sleep, frustrated by lack of personal time and lonely. So I turned to wine...wine made it all go away. I never drank much in front of my kids, but I'd rush them to bed in anticipation of that beautiful feeling of numbness. I wasn't present, because I was always living in the future, when I could erase my fears and inadequacies.

It worked until it didn't. There is only so long that you can use a depressant drug to cure what ails you. I became more depressed and tired...my solution became the problem.
I am the lucky one. I was fortunate enough to find recovery before it got "too bad." My kids were still young and I didn't lose years of my life. However, it still affected them. I could justify that I rarely drank in front of them, but it doesn't matter...because they knew. My daughter was six when I quit (and I only drank during four years of her life due to pregnancy and nursing), but she still knew something was wrong. One day she told me she was glad I didn't drink wine anymore. I asked her why and she said, "You're different now. You're just different." She was six. She knew. The kids....they know.

So please, please think before you post. Sure, you may think it's just a joke. You might believe I'm being oversensitive. I mean, all you have to do is look at wine ads (Mommy Juice!) or activities for moms (Painting...with wine! Book club...with wine! Playdates...with wine!) to see it's part of the culture of motherhood these days. But what happens when a mom has a few too many at those playdates and drives home? Is it funny then? Or is that when we judge and chastise and say, "I can't believe she did such a thing!"? 17% of auto accident deaths of children aged 0 to 14 years involve an alcohol-impaired driver. SEVENTEEN PERCENT. Why isn't that a hilarious Facebook meme? Alcohol kills approximately nine times more people per year than heroin. Where's the meme for that?

Remember, your kids are watching. They are learning how to "unwind" and "destress" from you. Your children are NOT the reason you drink. They are not the reason their teacher may drink. That's not fair to the kids. It's not okay. If you drink, it's because you choose to. If you can control it, good for you. Cheers! But if it's hurting you, if you are afraid, if you want to stop and you can't...please message me. Call me. Reach out. You are not alone.

[michigancat]

I wish I could see the facebook post where she "got all feisty".

[Mrs. Gooch]

Posting not to mock the recovery thing; posting to mock the general self-indulgence and specifically the "I was Supermom" part.

I should start out by saying getting all feisty on Facebook is not something I normally do. In fact, I'm not even sure this IS the right thing to do, but something has been eating at me for a few days, and I feel like I need to say something.

The other day I noticed a meme was being passed around several of my Facebook groups. Most of these are groups for moms, where we share play date ideas, talk about teachers / school issues, and ask for advice and guidance from other moms. The meme was of photo of a wine bottle, with the heading "The most honest gift to a teacher I've ever seen." The bottle had a label with a photo of a child, and the words "Our child might be the reason you drink, so enjoy this bottle on us."

Now, I see memes every day on Facebook about drinking. I mean, you'd be blind to miss them. Memes about beer and wine and Friday and work hard/play hard, etc. But this one bothered me. And it was everywhere. When I read it, I felt a pit in my stomach. And that pit started to churn until I was almost enraged. I was pissed, you guys.

Because here's the thing...it's not f'ing funny. It's not.
If you are a friend, you probably know I'm a person in long term recovery, which for me means I no longer drink alcohol. However, I don't judge those that do. I get that for many people, drinking is not an issue. Lots of people drink socially or have a drink or two, and everything is fine. I am not one of those people, but if you are, great! Enjoy!

But there are many, many of us who cannot drink alcohol without having problems. It shouldn't be shocking, alcohol is an addictive drug. Yes, it's legal, but it's still a drug. In fact, it's a drug that kills 88,000 people in the U.S. per year (not counting the additional 10,076 people who are killed annually in alcohol-impaired driving crashes). It's a drug that is affecting women and mothers in record numbers. It's a drug that is killing mothers and leaving children motherless.

It's dangerous to blame our children for our drinking, even in jest. I know, because I certainly did it. I was supermom, working 50+ hours a week, raising kids and keeping a home in order. I deserved a glass of wine. I needed it. I said it was to relax, but it wasn't. It was to numb out. Mothering isn't easy, and it can be extremely overwhelming. I was exhausted from lack of sleep, frustrated by lack of personal time and lonely. So I turned to wine...wine made it all go away. I never drank much in front of my kids, but I'd rush them to bed in anticipation of that beautiful feeling of numbness. I wasn't present, because I was always living in the future, when I could erase my fears and inadequacies.

It worked until it didn't. There is only so long that you can use a depressant drug to cure what ails you. I became more depressed and tired...my solution became the problem.
I am the lucky one. I was fortunate enough to find recovery before it got "too bad." My kids were still young and I didn't lose years of my life. However, it still affected them. I could justify that I rarely drank in front of them, but it doesn't matter...because they knew. My daughter was six when I quit (and I only drank during four years of her life due to pregnancy and nursing), but she still knew something was wrong. One day she told me she was glad I didn't drink wine anymore. I asked her why and she said, "You're different now. You're just different." She was six. She knew. The kids....they know.

So please, please think before you post. Sure, you may think it's just a joke. You might believe I'm being oversensitive. I mean, all you have to do is look at wine ads (Mommy Juice!) or activities for moms (Painting...with wine! Book club...with wine! Playdates...with wine!) to see it's part of the culture of motherhood these days. But what happens when a mom has a few too many at those playdates and drives home? Is it funny then? Or is that when we judge and chastise and say, "I can't believe she did such a thing!"? 17% of auto accident deaths of children aged 0 to 14 years involve an alcohol-impaired driver. SEVENTEEN PERCENT. Why isn't that a hilarious Facebook meme? Alcohol kills approximately nine times more people per year than heroin. Where's the meme for that?

Remember, your kids are watching. They are learning how to "unwind" and "destress" from you. Your children are NOT the reason you drink. They are not the reason their teacher may drink. That's not fair to the kids. It's not okay. If you drink, it's because you choose to. If you can control it, good for you. Cheers! But if it's hurting you, if you are afraid, if you want to stop and you can't...please message me. Call me. Reach out. You are not alone.

I want to punch that woman in the face.

[Skipper44]

Is it still a mommy blog when the kids are teenagers? 

mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=172&f=2488&t=14168881&p=11

tl:dr for 11 page thread = Leawood mommyblogger has a column in the weekly JoCo section of the Star and uses it to put the catered Homecoming afterparty at a phog posters home on blast, typical enlightened comments ensue.

[michigancat]

Going out, will analyze later:

Dear Husband: The Bathroom is Not a Man Cave

http://www.scarymommy.com/dear-husband/

[Tobias]

what in the holy eff did I just read

[star seed 7]

Rita Templeton is a writer and mom to four lively, imaginative little boys. She lives in Davenport, Iowa, where she maintains her sanity by blogging at Fighting off Frumpy (and occasionally locking herself in her closet with a box of cookies). Come say hi on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook

[Kat Kid]

mommy blogs about gender reveal parties are the worst.

We had a gender reveal party at work, for a dude. He had to act excited I guess. I skipped it.

Are there any mommy blogs about why people think it's rough ridin' cute to keep the name a secret? Because the secret's out: no one gives a crap.

I would read a mommy blog watch blog but then I realized I already am and was contented.

[nicname]

the word hubby

I agree.

It would be hard to be friends with someone who used that word.

[michigancat]

Believe it or not, I poop too

[michigancat]

I mean, both the husband and wife are absolutely terrible people. Sweet Christ.

[SkinnyBenny]

i am not lying when i say that i could read and make fun of self important mommy blogs all day long. so fun.

Yeah. Here's a great one for that. I mean, really just go to scarymommy.com and take your pic, total fish in a barrel situ. Major lols in this one:
http://www.scarymommy.com/parenting-feels-hard-because-were-doing-it-right/

So, yeah, parenting feels hard to me. It’s not because I don’t love my children. I love them with a love that is great and deep and wild. They are precious and wonderful and, most of all, beloved.

Parenting feels hard because I’m trying, every day, to be better at it than I was yesterday. It feels hard because we’re all people, we’re all imperfect, and we’re living and growing together in ways that can grind, carve and shape. It feels hard because these are tiny little humans we’re talking about, tiny little humans who will one day become men and women, and we get to shepherd them into that, and it is a giant, humbling, magnanimous task—a privilege but also a mountain of responsibility.

I don’t take it lightly.

[SkinnyBenny]

Pfffffffft
http://www.scarymommy.com/9-obnoxious-things-my-toddler-doesnt-do-but-you-might/

Lady really brings it home at the end. Really just a brutal takedown by this biting buzzsaw of wit.

[michigancat]

Pfffffffft
http://www.scarymommy.com/9-obnoxious-things-my-toddler-doesnt-do-but-you-might/

Lady really brings it home at the end. Really just a brutal takedown by this biting buzzsaw of wit.

holy crap

My toddler says a lot of inappropriate things. But I’ve never seen him take one look at someone and say, “That person doesn’t belong here”—a message I see in everyone’s eyes whenever we go out in public.