Author Topic: Thread for Michigancat and Friends to Put Mommyblogs in the Boston Crab  (Read 20476 times)

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Offline SkinnyBenny

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ITT rusty will offer up links to particularly insufferable mommy blogs and then he (we?) will brutally take down the shitty writing/parenting/whatever.

Initially it was sparked by this snotty Baton Rouge mom blog, which was posted in the Planning Weddings thread.

Now you go! (Also feel free to post examples of good mommy blogs if there are any.)


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"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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That link goes to a cached (caSHEYed) version but when you try to go to the current version of the page you get a Page Not Found error....Did she already take it down because too many people were bitching at her?


Offline SkinnyBenny

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That link goes to a cached (caSHEYed) version but when you try to go to the current version of the page you get a Page Not Found error....Did she already take it down because too many people were bitching at her?

I think maybe. And I don't know how all that works or if it will be up, so here's the text for when this thread flounders, seems dead, and then gets bumped for some weird reason three years after it has long been forgotten about.

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Must Decline with Regret {The Kids Aren’t Invited}

by Fleur on July 21, 2015 in Breastfeeding, Family, Infants, Motherhood, New Moms




Dear Bride and Groom,

We just received your beautiful wedding invitation! Thank you for thinking of us!! We’re so excited and happy to celebrate this special day with y’all!!!

…oh, it’s an adults only event. Oh, it’s in New Orleans. Oh, it’s in the evening.

And just like that, no matter how badly I may want to attend, I know I must decline the invitation. This has happened to me so many times since the birth of my daughter.

So my question to you is, dear Bride and Groom — what’s up with that? Why even invite us? You are aware we have a small child, right?

My guess is you didn’t give a huge amount of thought to that decision, and I can understand that. You have A LOT of decisions to make. In most cases, newlyweds-to-be do not yet have kids, so you aren’t keenly aware of how difficult it can be to leave said kids at home to attend an event like this. I get it.

But what IS the thought process there, I have to wonder?

Is it a cost issue? I have heard one bride make the comment, “I’m not feeding an entire family at my wedding.” Ahem, rude, but also…what? Most kids are not going to eat more than any 3 adults. My child is so distracted at events like weddings, she eats the quantitative equivalent of a less-than-eager gerbil. Do wedding venues charge full price per head for babies and small children these days? I highly doubt it, and if they do, they deserve a swift kick in the pants and I suggest you find another venue because they are clearly ripping you off.

Is it a noise issue? Are you worried my two-year-old will distract from the ceremony? If she does get rowdy-rowdy (unlikely), you can bet I or my husband will be ushering (see what I did there?) her from the ceremony faster than you can blink. We know how important this day is; we would never do anything to derail attention from you.

Is it a crowd control issue? Are you worried your elegant party will become a zoo with thousands of kids invading your dance floor? I don’t know your guest list and the potential attendees under the age of 18, but I have to believe that any parent who CAN leave their kids at home whilst at your wedding…WILL. What parent wouldn’t want to enjoy a fun night of dinner/dancing/drinks with their partner alone? I know I would! But I can’t during this time in my life, and so I don’t mind if my little one tags along so I can attend events like yours. Sidenote, from what I’ve witnessed and I’ve attended a wedding or two in my day, it’s often the kids who are first out on the dance floor, getting the party started oh so adorably (you’re welcome).

I ask because I did not have an exclusively adult wedding, and I truly want to understand your reasoning. Hear me on this point: this is your occasion and you absolutely have EVERY right in the world to decide who attends your wedding. But I’d venture to say that you made other considerations for your guests so they could attend, didn’t you? Did you consider them when choosing the menu? Probably. What about convenience of location and time? Likely. These considerations and many more probably crossed your mind when planning your day so that as many guests as possible could celebrate with you. So why not allow your guests to bring their children if they really need to?

Please allow me to put it in perspective for you a bit. Breastfeeding makes it really difficult to be away from an infant for more than 2.5 to 3 hours. As in, it strikes fear in the heart of many mommas. What if the baby doesn’t take a bottle? This is a thing. What if her breastfeeding journey has been a difficult one, one that she has worked very hard for, and a bottle could jeopardize that? This is also a thing. What if the baby nurses to sleep and therefore will not be able to go to bed without the mother? Yes, also a thing. What if the mother just plain doesn’t feel comfortable leaving her baby yet? The list goes on. Unless you have previous experience with children, Bride and Groom, some of these concepts probably sound vastly foreign (they sure did for me until about 2 years ago), but these are all indeed very common things in the world of early motherhood.

So let’s say any of one of these issues apply to me – if your wedding is in New Orleans (aren’t they always?!), I’m looking at about a 2-hour drive from where I live, allowing time for parking/traffic. Let’s be conservative and say your ceremony is also at the reception site and lasts 30 minutes. We stay at your reception for an hour and a half. So that’s 4 hours round trip to get there and back, plus 2 hours for the event equals 6 hours away from my baby, at the very minimum, getting home around midnight if it’s a 6 o’clock event. Which equals out to a big fat stress ball of worry if I attempt to come to your wedding. I’m sorry, but it’s just not worth it to me, no matter how badly I want to go. So I won’t. I sadly missed several weddings of dear friends who had adult-only events during the first year of my daughter’s life. And, I could have easily come had she been welcome!

Even in her second year, it’s not much easier. It’s needlessly annoying — why can’t I just bring her? That would solve everything! But I can’t. Therefore, more often than not, I have to regretfully decline, not because we have other plans, but because my child can’t come.

I say all this out of love and admittedly frustration, Bride and Groom, because I truly want to celebrate with you, otherwise I wouldn’t go through such internal turmoil. But please understand why your decision to exclude kids makes it difficult for me, and for all the young mothers you have invited, to attend.

I know this is a busy and exciting time – I remember how wonderful it was being a blushing bride myself. But one day you’ll be in my shoes. You’ll have little ones you adore more than anything in the world, and you’ll get invited to weddings that don’t welcome them. It will make your heart a little sad, and may cause you to look back on your own decision as a bride and groom with empathy and perhaps the slightest bit of regret.

Sincerely,

Fleur, on behalf of all mothers with small children who will be unable to attend.



Quote
Fleur (which rhymes with ‘blur’ and is French for “flower,” in case you were wondering) is a former media relations and marketing professional happily turned part-time freelance writer and all-the-time mommy to her daughter, a spunky and sweet toddler. She always assumed she would return to work after maternity leave, but the role of Mother grabbed her by the soul, and she was very fortunate to have the choice to remain at home. A wandering heart to the core, Fleur and her husband of 9 years have traveled and lived in many places, but are happy to have returned home after the birth of their baby girl. Fleur and her family reside on the outskirts of Zachary down on the farm, where they enjoy raising chickens, horses, dogs, {not super successful} attempts at gardening, and just generally being outside all the time. Based on her choices when it comes to motherhood and parenting, Fleur would likely be dubbed a “crunchy” mama, but her husband would just call it making things more complicated than they have to be…for the good of their daughter, he would totally add {wink wink} Fleur loves coffee, languages and words, honest conversations coupled with hilarity as a requirement, photography, and the idea of sleeping through the night.
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12


Offline AbeFroman

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Not a blog, but I found this pretty funny

Offline michigancat

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Not a blog, but I found this pretty funny
Oh fuuuuuuuck this lady. As a rule of thumb, if you use the word "hip", you are not at all "hip". Yes I realize what I kind of just did.

Offline michigancat

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Hip parents can kiss my ass.

Offline michigancat

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And a self-righteous yelp review thread sounds fun!

Offline SkinnyBenny

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And a self-righteous yelp review thread sounds fun!

It would be fun. Do you need me to start that one for you, too?  :whistle1:
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline libliblibliblibliblib

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And a self-righteous yelp review thread sounds fun!

"I only go here during the day because it's in a very high crime area"  review of a restaurant across the street from Washburn University
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

I think.you.are deep down.a.trans cowboy gravy eater.

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Love how every momblogger has to include something in her bio about about how hard she moms. Usually follows this template:

"When she's not [insert wording here about chasing around a toddler], Lauren likes to [insert activity she used to love but just barely has the time for these days, what with the kids and all].


Quote
ABOUT THE WRITER

KATE PARLIN
Kate Parlin is a writer and mom of three girls, two of whom are twins.  When she's not cleaning up pee, she chronicles her parenting adventures at her blog, Shakespeare's Mom.




Quote
ABOUT THE WRITER

AUDREY ROWE
Audrey Rowe is a freelance writer/editor who enjoys reading and baking in her free time. For the remaining 23.5 hours of the day, she is generally chasing after her hyperactive son or her equally energetic cat.


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« Last Edit: July 31, 2015, 11:48:48 AM by SkinnyBenny »
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline Canary

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And a self-righteous yelp review thread sounds fun!

"I only go here during the day because it's in a very high crime area"  review of a restaurant across the street from Washburn University
My barber is right near that campus. 

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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Not a blog, but I found this pretty funny

Where is this place? I want to go there based on this review.

Offline AbeFroman

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It's in the west bottoms in KC, and very good. The chicken biscuit w/ gravy yum

Offline AbeFroman

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I hate how Moms are co-opting the word "freelance" to mean "willfully unemployed". I feel bad for people that do legit freelance work.

Offline Dugout DickStone

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I am glad she won't go to Genessee, more room for us hip couples who have nannies

Offline libliblibliblibliblib

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OT: I really enjoy the word Genesee
Hyperbolic partisan duplicitous hypocrite

I think.you.are deep down.a.trans cowboy gravy eater.

Offline SkinnyBenny

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What do you guys think Fleur's husband is like?
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline Mrs. Gooch

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What do you guys think Fleur's husband is like?

He didn't want to go to the wedding anyway so he pretends to agree with his wife just to get out of going.

Offline michigancat

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What do you guys think Fleur's husband is like?

well why don't you visit her "Hiring a Birth Photographer: Have You Considered It?" post and find out for yourself? *SPOILER* he's a dweeb extraordinaire that wore a "DADDY SINCE 2013" shirt to his daughters' birth in 2013.




ps, I just realized that in the kids' wedding post she posted a photo of HER wedding looking smug as eff with a bunch of stupid kids. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH


Offline michigancat

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Quote from: one of those bios
Her proudest achievement? Getting socks on her squirmy ten month old that one time he was particularly wiggly.

wow maybe time to try to rough ridin' do something with your life

Offline SkinnyBenny

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Quote from: one of those bios
Her proudest achievement? Getting socks on her squirmy ten month old that one time he was particularly wiggly.

wow maybe time to try to rough ridin' do something with your life

michigancat, yes! go!
"walking around mhk and crying in the rain because of love lost is the absolute purest and best thing in the world.  i hope i fall in love during the next few weeks and get my heart broken and it starts raining just to experience it one last time."   --Dlew12

Offline 0.42

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liked & subscribed

Offline Rage Against the McKee

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Quote from: one of those bios
Her proudest achievement? Getting socks on her squirmy ten month old that one time he was particularly wiggly.

wow maybe time to try to rough ridin' do something with your life

She has kids to live vicariously through now.