Author Topic: wimpiest Avenger (Read 1959 times)

massofcatfan · « **on:** March 12, 2015, 10:26:57 AM »

I was watching the Avengers Age of Ultron trailer from the movie trailer thread, and there would be the hulk, some kind of mega-iron man, and then ... some guy with a bow and arrow? Is he the wimpiest Avenger? and who let him on the team anyway?

SdK · « **Reply #1 on:** March 12, 2015, 10:36:33 AM »

Hahahhahahaha have you not seen the first Avengers? There's a reason he gets turned.

#TheWesIsTheFuture

GregKSU1027 · « **Reply #2 on:** March 12, 2015, 09:11:20 PM »

Lolz iron man thing is a hulkbuster. I can ruin the plot of this movie for everyone

Stevesie60 · « **Reply #3 on:** March 12, 2015, 09:44:27 PM »

All of them. Hit Girl is the only super hero that isn't a total wuss.

Asteriskhead · « **Reply #4 on:** March 12, 2015, 09:46:11 PM »

lol at any answer that isn't ant-man.

Cartierfor3 · « **Reply #5 on:** March 12, 2015, 09:48:26 PM »

The Avengers ranks up there with Transformers in terms of dumb movies. Characters? Na..... CHECK OUT THIS CGI ROBOT FIGHT

ksupamplemousse · « **Reply #6 on:** March 12, 2015, 11:13:36 PM »

Quote from: Cartierfor3 on March 12, 2015, 09:48:26 PM

The Avengers ranks up there with Transformers in terms of dumb movies. Characters? Na..... CHECK OUT THIS CGI ROBOT FIGHT

I don't think you watched The Avengers.

SdK · « **Reply #7 on:** March 12, 2015, 11:18:42 PM »

Quote from: ksupamplemousse on March 12, 2015, 11:13:36 PM

Quote from: Cartierfor3 on March 12, 2015, 09:48:26 PM
The Avengers ranks up there with Transformers in terms of dumb movies. Characters? Na..... CHECK OUT THIS CGI ROBOT FIGHT

I don't think you watched The Avengers.

Clearly not. Transformers does suck though.

The Big Train · « **Reply #8 on:** March 12, 2015, 11:21:54 PM »

i love jessica alba but sue storm has to be the wimpiest

The Big Train · « **Reply #9 on:** March 12, 2015, 11:28:41 PM »

Quote from: The Big Train on March 12, 2015, 11:21:54 PM

i love jessica alba but sue storm has to be the wimpiest

im sorry jessica, im sorry i said those mean things. i take it all back, check out this rough ridin' pussy, i mean what in the world

Quote

Power: Invisible skin.
Wraith was so unlikable that his very first appearance triggered a street full of innocent civilians to start beating him to death. Pro tip: If your mutant power causes attacks but can't do anything about them, you suck. He was literally recruited to the X-Men from the fetal position, after losing a fight he started with unarmed humans so badly that he nearly died from it. Wraith is how the X-Men dodge taxes by proving that they're a charity. He undoes the idea of Homo Sapiens Superior single-handedly: The only enemy his power can strike at the artist, where he gets revenge for his shitty existence by revealing his creators can't draw the third dimension

He can transfer his transparent epidermisery to other people, making him the only mutant so terrible that his own body is trying to offload the X-gene. He wasn't the only Marvel character called Wraith, so that's two ways he proves comic writers aren't very good at new ideas. But he was unequivocally the worse of the bunch. John Wraith had an extended lifespan, military training and could teleport. Spider-Man's Wraith was an ex-policeman psionic Punisher. Zak-Del Wraith is immortal and has a gun that can be any gun and destroy other guns. Hector Rendoza, the X-Men's Wraith, can temporarily hide embarrassing tattoos.

The Big Train · « **Reply #10 on:** March 12, 2015, 11:34:24 PM »

Quote

Power: Birdlike (in all the wrong ways).
Beak was intended to show how mutation could look hideous, which wasn't a great idea for a good guy in a visual medium. He had all the powers that you would leave off the list if you were designing a human-bird hybrid: lighter bones made him fragile, a beak made him hideous, feathers meant his most powerful mutant attack was "tickling" and his wings made him barely able to glide. And that's in a universe where other mutants can fly anytime the writers forget they can't. They called him "Beak" because, of all the words that flash to mind when you see him, it's the only one that's not audible retching.

Even the X-Men stuck him in a "Special Class" -- and "Special" means exactly the same in Mutant as it does in public school. His brightest idea was attacking Magneto with a metal baseball bat. Magneto contemptuously threw him up in the air which, granted is sort of a poor strategic decision when you're fighting a bird-guy. Beak sucked so hard he still nearly died.

star seed 7 · « **Reply #11 on:** March 14, 2015, 11:10:34 PM »

Quote from: Cartierfor3 on March 12, 2015, 09:48:26 PM

The Avengers ranks up there with Transformers in terms of dumb movies. Characters? Na..... CHECK OUT THIS CGI ROBOT FIGHT

yup, i give it a 2/7

star seed 7 · « **Reply #12 on:** March 14, 2015, 11:11:00 PM »

Quote from: Stevesie60 on March 12, 2015, 09:44:27 PM

All of them. Hit Girl is the only super hero that isn't a total wuss.

when stevesie is right, he's mega right

michigancat · « **Reply #13 on:** March 14, 2015, 11:23:16 PM »

Scarlett Johansen just shoots people with a pistol. I mean, she's pretty good, but she's not ironman or a literal god.

SdK · « **Reply #14 on:** March 15, 2015, 10:41:49 AM »

Quote from: michigancat on March 14, 2015, 11:23:16 PM

Scarlett Johansen just shoots people with a pistol. I mean, she's pretty good, but she's not ironman or a literal god.

She's hot.

massofcatfan · « **Reply #15 on:** May 16, 2016, 10:11:53 AM »

I just saw Cpt America/Civil War. Did not see the last few Avengers movies.

Here is how I imagine the job interview for Scarlett Jo/Black Widow went down:

Avengers: "What is your special power?"

"I am resistant to infection ....

...

...

AND I am super-flexible."

Avengers: "Hired!"

I'm still bent out of shape about that archery dude.

The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep · « **Reply #16 on:** May 16, 2016, 10:41:04 AM »

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/captain-america-civil-war-who-would-win/

chum1 · « **Reply #17 on:** May 16, 2016, 10:55:37 AM »

I've learned a lot about superheroes recently thanks to my five-year-old. At first, you think that Marvel is the company with the cool, real-ish characters because DC characters seem kinda corny and overly romantic/moralistic in comparison. The more you learn about them, though, you realize that the Marvel characters are just as dorky and the DC characters are just way, way more rough ridin' powerful. I mean, Superman alone could probably whip all of the Avengers asses at the same time. The Avengers are pretty much just humans in special little suits. Superman is rough ridin' indestructible, has super strength, super speed, can rough ridin' fly, shoots lasers that can destroy anything out of his rough ridin' eyes. And then you have these other supernatural bad motherfuckers like Green Lantern and Martian Manhunter. It's just no contest, really.

So, I tend to agree that the Avengers are pretty wimpy overall. But, yeah, Hawkeye is a former circus performer/archer. COME ON!

Skipper44 · « **Reply #18 on:** May 16, 2016, 11:59:00 AM »

the lego video games really brought this home for me -"this level would be so much easier i could just be Superman!" Batman is still in my top 3 because sweet vehicles

TCUHornedFrog · « **Reply #19 on:** May 16, 2016, 12:07:11 PM »

superman is such a boring hero. zero weaknesses (other than a convenient little green rock) and always does the right thing.