I'm watching this Louisville-Kentucky game thinking "If we can't be good at basketball, isn't there something else we can do with those scholarships?" Rather than having a basketball team of good basketball players, maybe we should refocus our efforts to have a basketball team of seriously cool people. Like, seriously cool.
For starters, part of Jardine could be fashioned into some sort of neuvo-bohemian vibe via teak furniture ala clockwork orange. Somewhere in the facility there would also be an opium den. I should point out the athletes wouldn't be forced to use the opium den, but if they're feeling curious it's their right to have access. They would be encouraged to participate in collaborative "paint jams" and spend the week designing and sewing their own uniforms. The cost of these materials would be offset by their vegan diet, a strict combination of bulgar wheat and millet. If they complain we'll just threaten to take away that goddamn paint jam. Anyway, I think we would have a roster of 13 (plus walk ons) seriously cool people, which would be cool and that's why we should do it.
