Self just took the easy route and went for a top 10 guy.
People honestly don't recognize how much satisfaction there is in finishing last, as long as you're doing it the right way and the kids really want to be here. Bill Self has a dearth of joy and happiness in his life, because he's always taking shortcuts. It's just not satisfying at the deepest level of our humanity, kind of like beating a video game using the Game Genie.