First training session, fine. I give him the info. He's to email me that night or the following day at the latest the meal plan, with our next session the day after that. I don't receive anything and show up at the scheduled time and he's not there. The workers say that he called in earlier and claimed that I'd canceled and thus he wasn't coming in. This was no new year's day. I tell them that the very words I'm saying to them are the first words I've said out loud all day.
Next session, I'm asking him wtf, and he just attempts to talk around it, but he's dumb. He acknowledges that when he called me to tell me that HE was stuck in oregon and needed to cancel, that he got a busy signal (that's because he didn't even have my number and was calling a disconnected wichita number). I kept asking how out of that he came up with a story of me canceling, and he just started talking about lats or something. He also says the meal plan's ready but it's on his computer at home.
Nothing too eventful for the next week or so, except he never sends or gives me the meal plan even though I ask each time, and I learn he can't count.
Constant annoyances each time are him babbling nonstop about anatomy crap that I have no interest in, and him saying how the way that the rest of the world does certain exercises are wrong so he's invented his own modifications (mods).
He never does send the meal plan but about 3 weeks in brings it on a piece of paper and claims the gyms computers are messed up (yes, you're remembering correctly that he'd said earlier that it was all done on his own computer). The plan's insane with noontime lunch being my fourth feeding session of the day - spracne, according to the plan, I'd still be eating a cup of greek yogurt mixed with a scoop of protein chowder before going to bed. I tried it for a bit but it was clear quickly the timing on it didn't work at all. He said no problem and that he'd mod it and email me. 2 weeks later, nothing.
He canceled a few more sessions throughout this. Last time, he takes the same piece of paper I'd given back to him w/my email address on it so he couldn't eff it up, and just had a bunch of arrows scribbled on it and it was pretty clear he'd done it right when I walked in. Said the gym computers were mumped again. The arrows were lol. Best I can tell, it has me putting almond butter on chicken, because he'd cut out one of the morning meals of almond butter on some crazy protein-injected bread, but forgot to mod the bread somewhere else in the day to match up with the almond butter. I decided then not to even point it out because I'd be done with him soon.
At the end of that session, he says that our initial 12 sessions are done and need to sign up for more. This is weird because - remember the counting issues - the day just before, he'd told me that was our 10th and had 2 more. I also know it was only the 10th because I'd recently added them up after getting a "you've completed your session" email a week or so earlier when I'd done nothing that day but go to the 'hawks rally. I point this out to him and he doesn't get it. He meets with management and tells them I've counted differently, and they decide that they'll do me a favor and give me a session "on the house" due to it being possible their computers have issues. He then tries to get me scheduled way beyond the remaining one, and I tell him that's not happening until after #12 (not #13) and I decide if there's any rough ridin' point to this.
There's been other lol/wtf things along the way. One that jumps out is his constant pushing of having me go see his masseuse friend who does side work at his house.
Oh yeah, that first time he canceled, the interim trainer is kind of throwing shade at him the whole time about how he talks and teaches anatomy too much. Another time, his boss told him mid-session they needed to talk when he was done. He kind of cut mine short and didn't write up what we'd done like he's supposed to, saying he had to get to the meeting and that he'd write it up later and email me. Never happened.
