Good Improper Benefits Opportunity

[steve dave]

msbcat

Post #128
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I live in South Overland Park and had a flier on my door after spring break about mulch, yard work, etc. The contact person was Ryan Mueller. I called him a week ago to get an estimate, not realizing that it might be him. Anyway, it is him and he and some of his teammates are back here on the weekends doing mulch and will also be around this summer. He has 10 years of landscape experience for anyone interested. He is doing our mulch in a few weeks. He is also cheaper than the landscape comapany we used last year.   

Pete, tip each of them $5k for how good they mulch your crap

[Dr Rick Daris]

pete- hire them to mulch your crap and then set it up for a day that we have a pak at your house and when they show up tell them not to worry about the mulch and then we all just pak and get them to tell us stories for an hour.

[steve dave]

pete- hire them to mulch your crap and then set it up for a day that we have a pak at your house and when they show up tell them not to worry about the mulch and then we all just pak and get them to tell us stories for an hour.

and hand them cash

[KITNfury]

Seems like it would be better to pay/bribe recruits instead of EMAWs.....although I wouldn't begrudge anybody giving these fine young men a little extra for their outstanding efforts on the field.

[Dr Rick Daris]

pete- hire them to mulch your crap and then set it up for a day that we have a pak at your house and when they show up tell them not to worry about the mulch and then we all just pak and get them to tell us stories for an hour.

and hand them cash

what if i told you that we just don't hand it to them. what if i told you that we have a potato gun but instead of potatos, we put cash in it. lots of cash. then we shoot it at them?

[pissclams]

i have them coming out this weekend.  i set up a casino night theme to the mulching activity.  different table games (blackjack, bacarat, craps, war, a wheel of cash) all set up around my yard- in between mulching we're going to play some cards.  but guess what, instead of betting with cash, the guys bet with mulch.  payouts are all in cash, there are no table minimums, and every hand is a winner.  mulch 4 cash 2014 is here this weekend, everyone who plays for the cats is invited (i'll be checking student ID's to the spring roster on kstatesports.com).  also free booze and sluts because what's funner than cats mulching for cash with sluts and booze, answer:  nothing.  go cats.

[Dr Rick Daris]

pete-

remove all the mulch that you currently have on your own. replace that on your own with crumpled up and wadded up ten dollars bills. then call mueller and boys and tell them that you aren't happy with your current money mulch and want to replace it with a more standard wood mulch. have them quote you a price that includes halling away your current money mulch. 

also we party.

[Dugout DickStone]

I need a phone number to set up this cash hando...err....mulching job.  Did that bozo post it?

[MadCat]

Also see if they can haul away the pile of hookers and blow that's out by the back shed.

[HELLHAMMER]

Also see if they can haul away the pile of hookers and blow that's out by the back shed.

[steve dave]

I'm going to hire Mueller and the guys to mulch my vegas condo in a couple weeks. They are really going to be tired after staying up all night mulching their balls off all over Vegas and just going nuts with mulch.

[pissclams]

I'm going to hire Mueller and the guys to mulch my vegas condo in a couple weeks. They are really going to be tired after staying up all night mulching their balls off all over Vegas and just going nuts with mulch.

by then they're going to be so tired of mulching at my casino night that i really doubt they take your job

[bones129]

Also get Tharpe's nurse lined up to complete these fantastic benefit packages.

[steve dave]

get out of here bones

[sonofdaxjones]

Tell them when you hire them that you already have the mulch and that you just need them to distribute and spread it out.   Then when they get there they discover that your mulch is a big pile of Gold American Eagle Coins (think Scrooge McDuck's valult).   Tell them you decided that you don't think the color matches the house or landscaping very well and they can just keep it.    Invite inside for libations and fine smoked meats and cheeses before the bus full of G/E MILFS arrive for the evening.

[Dugout DickStone]

I really need the contact info.  I needs someone to put down some spring fertilizer and pre-emmergent (sp)

[Bloodfart]

Life's a garden dig it... till you find a crap ton of cash.  #makingit"rain" #mulchlife #hoses&hoes

[CNS]

Why doesn't every football player and basketball player do this?  Seems like a lot of missed opportunities here. 

[HerrSonntag]

Why doesn't every football player and basketball player do this?  Seems like a lot of missed opportunities here.

Solid work ethic, Intrinsic values.

[wetwillie]

23 year old Ryan Mueller has 10 years of professional experience in landscaping.  What a boss. 

[Benja]

Seems like it would be better to pay/bribe recruits instead of EMAWs.....although I wouldn't begrudge anybody giving these fine young men a little extra for their outstanding efforts on the field.

I don't think you understand how this works. You establish a nice little culture of improper benefits to current players so recruits know they will be taken care of in the future, too. I mean, you still pay high school kids too obviously. really its best to pay everyone good.

[hemmy]

23 year old Ryan Mueller has 10 years of professional experience in landscaping.  What a boss. 

Does getting paid to mow lawns count as professional experience? If so I should have started my own company.

[pissclams]

23 year old Ryan Mueller has 10 years of professional experience in landscaping.  What a boss. 

Does getting paid to mow lawns count as professional experience? If so I should have started my own company.

how much more professional does landscaping get?

[steve dave]

if the fuzz starts to get wise to our scheme we can hide it better by just mentioning to mueller and the boys that there is rumor of buried pirate treasure in your yard but you've never been able to find it but if they do then they have the claim to it because of some law or something you just made up. then you bury like a chest full of cash under some leaves with some long john silvers kids pirate hats in with it. "WOW YOU FOUND IT OMG! YOU ARE SO LUCKY YOU SON OF A BITCH! Finders keepers, though. Did I ever tell you about the legend of the bank robbers that were never caught but that were last seen over there behind my tool shed where I've never been so I have no idea? Wow."

EDIT: Obviously put the white sacks with the big $ on the sides of them filled with cash behind the shed before you say the last part.

[Shooter Jones]

23 year old Ryan Mueller has 10 years of professional experience in landscaping.  What a boss. 

Does getting paid to mow lawns count as professional experience? If so I should have started my own company.

how much more professional does landscaping get?

good thing he's not on our national championship soil judging team, he lost his amateur status at age 13.