Corporate World (alert IT guru's)

[XocolateThundarr]

Haven't paid for my own cell phone or truck in 13 years.  #humblebrag

Haven't paid for my own cell phone or truck in 14 years.  #humblebrag

in fact, I've never had a personal cell phone.

Grats Mikey!!!!

[KSUblumpkin]

Also, there's a girl who already hates me. When she didn't think I could hear: "umm, wtf? I didn't know we were hiring more inside ppl. I wanted ***** accounts. Why does "new guy" get them!"

Watch out for this Wildebeest.  She is that person in the office that can't separate work/life and insists on calling the office Christmas Party a "Holiday Party".  If she's hot and has an inner thigh tat...pound it.  If not...stay away (far away). 

[Rage Against the McKee]

Also, there's a girl who already hates me. When she didn't think I could hear: "umm, wtf? I didn't know we were hiring more inside ppl. I wanted ***** accounts. Why does "new guy" get them!"

Watch out for this Wildebeest.  She is that person in the office that can't separate work/life and insists on calling the office Christmas Party a "Holiday Party".  If she's hot and has an inner thigh tat...pound it.  If not...stay away (far away).

Yeah, you know she already has it out for you. Keep her close, though. Don't let her out of your sight. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as I always say.

[OK_Cat]

i got a cheapo $10/month phone for personal calls/texts, and use the company iphone for everything else.

but i'm in a small company (6 people), so nobody really gives a crap.

[AppleJack]

I use my personal phone for work and then expense the bill. If I used their iPhone then they would keep the number and the phone when they fire me. I was all 

[raquetcat]

Can we just make a "help wackycat with his job" thread and be done with it, you know that's what this thread is going to turn into. like he can post his super complicated excel and word questions here and then hamburglar can figure them out for him. Cofd can basically just do his job for him (you two can work out some sort of fee). Then Saul can fix all his computer problems. Grats wacky, I just got you a promotion

[OK_Cat]

here's something we can decide for fanning:

should he over-achieve for the first few months to get noticed as a go-getter and a good hire?  or should he under-achieve/do the bare minimum so that they don't expect him to be an over-achiever forever?

i say go bare minimum, fanning.  don't be a hero.

[420seriouscat69]

Can we just make a "help wackycat with his job" thread and be done with it, you know that's what this thread is going to turn into. like he can post his super complicated excel and word questions here and then hamburglar can figure them out for him. Cofd can basically just do his job for him (you two can work out some sort of fee). Then Saul can fix all his computer problems. Grats wacky, I just got you a promotion

 

[KSUblumpkin]

here's something we can decide for fanning:

should he over-achieve for the first few months to get noticed as a go-getter and a good hire?  or should he under-achieve/do the bare minimum so that they don't expect him to be an over-achiever forever?

i say go bare minimum, fanning.  don't be a hero.

Yea Fanning...don't be that guy.  Just have your minimum 15 pieces of flare and put in your grind.  Then, after 6 months of low-key bare minimum quality work...unleash hell.  This technique can actually improve your 1 year eval which will get you a hella  raise.

[420seriouscat69]

Learning mobile software apps right now is like learning a second language. A lot of training videos this week. It will take awhile before I know what the hell I'm talking about, but that's common for a new job, right?

[OK_Cat]

fanning, i mean this with all seriousness - a new job is like going to prison.  find the biggest, baddest salesperson and knock their rough ridin' teeth in just so everybody knows who is the new alpha beast.

[420seriouscat69]

 

[OK_Cat]

just for everyone's records when we discuss future work sitches, what is the workroom environment like?  cubicles?  your own private office?  give us a quick layout of the immediate area.

[420seriouscat69]

It's very state of the art. Open cubes, rooms to make calls that are glass windows, but by the flip of a switch, it clouds up. There are several work areas to get away from your desk to stay loose. There's a gaming room: Xbox w/ big screen, pool table, etc. I'm staying away from that room, it's gotta be a trick. I'm on the 11th floor downtown and my office overlooks the jones pool, PNL, and the sprint center. We have a full stocked bar when you walk in. :elite:

[KSUblumpkin]

just for everyone's records when we discuss future work sitches, what is the workroom environment like?  cubicles?  your own private office?  give us a quick layout of the immediate area.

Agreed.  This is important information.  Do you share a cube or are you flying solo?  I can always spot a former frat member in the office as well.  This is a good guy to get to know.  Keep him at a distance, but he'll serve as your gateway to eventually piss pound peeps with your awesomeness.

[KSUblumpkin]

It's very state of the art. Open cubes, rooms to make calls that are glass windows, but by the flip of a switch, it clouds up. There are several work areas to get away from your desk to stay loose. There's a gaming room: Xbox w/ big screen, pool table, etc. I'm staying away from that room, it's gotta be a trick. I'm on the 11th floor downtown and my office overlooks the jones pool, and the sprint center. We have a full stocked bar when you walk in. :elite:

Hmmmmm...what are the demographics of the other salespeople?  Age, gender, etc.?

[420seriouscat69]

Late 20's-late 30's

[KSUblumpkin]

Late 20's-late 30's

Nice.  Sounds like a sweet set-up.  Just don't send dick pics on your corporate phone and you should be golden.  If you spot any drug addicts, let me know.  I charge 250 an hour and will hook you up with a 10% per hour finder's fee (kidding...maybe).

In all honesty it sounds like a decent work environment for you outside of the "Ummm, wtf" chick.

[420seriouscat69]

Thanks, guys! And will do, blumpkin. I'll win her over.

[OK_Cat]

she just wants your meat, fanning. 

[Emo EMAW]

Fart when you walk by her cube, then of course blame on her.

[mocat]

A company credit card, a laptop, 2 monitors, and an iPhone 5 that they say I can use for personal? They're rough ridin' with me right you guys? I feel like this is all a trick to see if I'll jump on youjizz.com. anyways, should I drop my personal cellphone contract and just transfer everything over to my iPhone or will they see me sexting my fillies on that thing? TIA

  welcome to 2005

Bro 2 monitors is the crap and nothing to scoff at

[Institutional Control]

Can we just make a "help wackycat with his job" thread and be done with it, you know that's what this thread is going to turn into. like he can post his super complicated excel and word questions here and then hamburglar can figure them out for him. Cofd can basically just do his job for him (you two can work out some sort of fee). Then Saul can fix all his computer problems. Grats wacky, I just got you a promotion

Let's do this. Wackycat, send me a list of all your biggest accounts and I'll get started immediately.

[Tobias]

i can't wait for "is there any way to un-send an email???"

[420seriouscat69]

Can we just make a "help wackycat with his job" thread and be done with it, you know that's what this thread is going to turn into. like he can post his super complicated excel and word questions here and then hamburglar can figure them out for him. Cofd can basically just do his job for him (you two can work out some sort of fee). Then Saul can fix all his computer problems. Grats wacky, I just got you a promotion

Let's do this. Wackycat, send me a list of all your biggest accounts and I'll get started immediately.