Jail

[CNS]

I would run. Especially if I didn't have wife and kids and had a skillset that can be done elsewhere easily.  6mo doesn't sound like a lot but eff that.   

January is a fantastic time to check out warmer climates.

[SdK]

Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.

Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race.  Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone,  likely leading to a longer sentence.

How does what I said contradict what you said?

[jtksu]

Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.

Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race.  Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone,  likely leading to a longer sentence.

How does what I said contradict what you said?

Just the part about choosing who he wants to side with.   In prison, you have to hang out with your race.   County jails around here are much more relaxed and people tend to just hang out with whoever is sleeping near them because you spend most of your time on your bed.

[j-dub]

pete told me about prison nachos one time. when you get back you can show us how to make them.

oh and t's & p's

[jtksu]

pete told me about prison nachos one time. when you get back you can show us how to make them.

oh and t's & p's

Bernard Hopkins had some pretty cool stories about different ways to make food in prison.   Something about a light bulb and a shoebox used to make a sort of toaster oven.   (I think he called it a microwave but that dude ain't real bright.)

[steve dave]

I will visit you chings. will do the thing where we put the fists on the glass.

[Pete]

so like a 25% chance I might be headed to jail (prison really) for about 6 months (at minimum).   I can't talk about the deets (obvs), but what tips do any of you guys have.  I know they say act crazy and whatnot but this aint the movies and I although I look rough (a bit like a younger danny trejo with glasses), it wont fool anyone as soon as I open my mouth.  Thx for tips guys.

My special lady friend used to work in the criminal justice system in Kansas, specifically around where/how they placed prisoners.  One of THE most important things you need to do is to be very hospitable and peaceful when they evaluate you.  Sometimes they would hold the new prisoner in an area for a while for whatever reason (other pending charges), and if you behaved yourself during this classification process, then you were more likely to get minimum security.  If you go in there and behave poorly, then you get sent to medium or maximum. 

Obviously there are some crimes for which they skip that and send you right maximum.

[AppleJack]

I always heard you should slug the biggest guy there right off the bat to send a message.

Also, jail will basically give you time to get really cut and read a bunch of books, doesnt seem like it would be that bad.

[ChiComCat]

I heard you throw the biggest guy off the top floor and kill him.  Seems a bit extreme for 6 months though and, I would imagine, could keep you in prison longer.

I would act crazy.  Not outlandish or over the top, but just quiet Steve Buscemi from Con-Air crazy.

[Skipper44]

Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet

[jtksu]

What if you found the biggest, baddest mofo in prison and just raped the hell out of him?   Seems like that would establish dominance...

[SkinnyBenny]

weird thread.

[The1BigWillie]

Should probably merge this with the Master Dating thread and then eventually to Fanning Related thread. I have a feeling that every thread will eventually end up in the Fanning thread.

[Mikeyis4dcats]

I mean, she looked 18, right?

[SdK]

Not that I am a hardened criminal or anything, but I have spend a bit of time in jail. It really all depends upon where you go and what the gen pop consists of. Since you are a member of goEMAW, I can trust that you are a highly intelligent person. Befriend whoever you think wields a lot of power by any means possible without sacrificing what you value about yourself and roll with it. Find a spot, fill the role, survive, get out.

Don't think that will work in prison, he's gonna have to hang out with dudes from his race or he's gonna get beat up by other races and beat up/raped by his own race.  Course, the shot callers from whichever gang he joins are gonna make him shank someone,  likely leading to a longer sentence.

How does what I said contradict what you said?

Just the part about choosing who he wants to side with.   In prison, you have to hang out with your race.   County jails around here are much more relaxed and people tend to just hang out with whoever is sleeping near them because you spend most of your time on your bed.

Word up. I had to side with an admitted racist and wife beater. We did make a hammock out of sheets across the bunks though!

[OKclone]

No one cares about you, just go to jail and stfu.

[SwiftCat]

Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet

What if his raper is also HIV positive? Welp, that guy has a clean conscious now. Don't have to worry about infecting a guy who already has it.

[CNS]

What's the statute of limitations on what you allegedly did?   

I mean,  if its a couple yrs, why not run?

[Stevesie60]

Make sure to get a tattoo for every person you raped or killed before you go.

[puniraptor]

Make sure to get a tattoo for every person you raped or killed before you go.

A teardrop under your eye for every Metallica album you seeded.

[Skipper44]

Start a rumor that you are HIV positive, that will give you plenty of peace and quiet

What if his raper is also HIV positive? Welp, that guy has a clean conscious now. Don't have to worry about infecting a guy who already has it.

I would hope said positive innate would want to keep that on the down low.  Actually, I wonder if they take HIV positive inmates out of the general population?

[Shacks]

Here is a guide to making prison booze.  Practice this before you're incarcerated so you get really good at it.  If you can make quality wine in jail, nobody will eff with you.

http://dudefoods.com/how-make-your-own-prison-wine/

[Diamond Dave]

I have an employee who did 8 months in the OC prison. Although it depends on where you are, he shared a few of his stories. These may or may not be true and/or exaggerated...

1. Depending on your race, you will be "beat in". The length of the beating depends on what race you are. The first letter of your race is how many seconds you get beaten. Black= 2 seconds, Mexican= 13 seconds, White=23 seconds. He was white so he got the worst of it.

2. If you do something that hurts the population, you will get your ass kicked. This is probably fairly obvious. He said he accidentally removed some dumbbells from the rec room to another part of a prison which was a no-no. The guards took them away from everyone as a punishment and, in return, he got his ass kicked.

3. If you do something that someone who's part of a gang doesn't like, you can be "greenlit". That means you are fair game for anyone in that gang to attack. While this guy never got greenlit, it was always a fear of his because an attack could be when you least expected and you'd be constantly paranoid.

4. Inmates know where cameras are and aren't. While this may be another fairly obvious one, watch where you go. They know where they can get you and where they'll be caught on camera. In general, the guards don't really care so if there's no hard, video evidence, it's hard to prosecute them.

Good luck and godspeed.

[CNS]

If you have any habits,  break them now.  I had a boss that went in a couple times. The last time,  he hired a couple friends he met inside. One used to tell me how the boss would s a guys d for cappuccino/coffee.

[420seriouscat69]

I'm nervous for chings...