First of all: banning cussing is

Second: I would love to meet BMW in real life. I bet he looks exactly how I picture him

This would be the real BMW. The Jabba is his girlfriend/wife thing.
Add some black framed glasses like these:

[official eyewear of the uk fan]
and a black north face vest [official uniform of the uk fan] and I think you've got something.
Those toolbags stickout at a bar, like a private school kid at a movie theater. They all look the same and all suck at partying