Author Topic: OFFICIAL: What Animals Do You Think You Could Take In A Fight Thread (Read 55792 times)

sys · « **Reply #125 on:** July 11, 2012, 11:04:31 PM »

Quote from: Ging on July 11, 2012, 10:49:27 PM

Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:43:39 PM
Cow? gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't. if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy. if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

bubbles4ksu · « **Reply #126 on:** July 11, 2012, 11:25:26 PM »

Quote from: sys on July 11, 2012, 11:04:31 PM

Quote from: Ging on July 11, 2012, 10:49:27 PM
Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:43:39 PM
Cow? gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't. if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy. if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!).

you couldn't kick/choke to death a dairy cow? there is no consistency to your posting, sys.

sys · « **Reply #127 on:** July 11, 2012, 11:33:56 PM »

no, i couldn't. cattle are large, potentially dangerous, animals.

kim carnes · « **Reply #128 on:** July 11, 2012, 11:40:48 PM »

Quote from: sys on July 11, 2012, 11:04:31 PM

Quote from: Ging on July 11, 2012, 10:49:27 PM
Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:43:39 PM
Cow? gmafb

depends on whether or not it has testicles.

no it doesn't. if you think you can't beat an animal that weighs 1/5th what you weigh to death, you're a pussy. if you think you can beat an animal that weighs 5x what you weigh to death, you're a respect.

sys, i don't think i can, i know i can.

DQ12 · « **Reply #129 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:48:03 AM »

Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:37:23 PM

Quote from: Dlew12 on July 11, 2012, 10:31:35 PM
Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:24:10 PM
Quote from: Dlew12 on July 11, 2012, 10:22:53 PM
I could easily take two giraffes. Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip: all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs. Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.

no chance you're taking one of these behemoths to the ground

I get that it's tall. What i'm saying is, if i run into the broad side of that guy's hind leg, it will break. Giraffe's are a joke, dude.

nicname · « **Reply #130 on:** July 12, 2012, 02:37:18 AM »

Quote from: Dlew12 on July 12, 2012, 12:48:03 AM

Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:37:23 PM
Quote from: Dlew12 on July 11, 2012, 10:31:35 PM
Quote from: kim carnes on July 11, 2012, 10:24:10 PM
Quote from: Dlew12 on July 11, 2012, 10:22:53 PM
I could easily take two giraffes. Those things are pussies.

yeah you couldn't
protip: all they do is whip their head and soft horns around to attack, so all you have to do is just get behind them then go for the legs. Get it to the ground and start stomping its stupid long neck.

no chance you're taking one of these behemoths to the ground

I get that it's tall. What i'm saying is, if i run into the broad side of that guy's hind leg, it will break. Giraffe's are a joke, dude.

If you did that you would fall over, then the giraffe would stomp your face and body into a bloody pulp.

puniraptor · « **Reply #131 on:** July 12, 2012, 08:50:58 AM »

Kim, how would you beat up a great white shark?

steve dave · « **Reply #132 on:** July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM »

there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow. you couldn't even wound it. even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

8manpick · « **Reply #133 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:00:09 PM »

I agree with DLew12, but I think 1 giraffe would be plenty.

DQ12 · « **Reply #134 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:02:28 PM »

Quote from: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 12:00:09 PM

I agree with DLew12, but I think 1 giraffe would be plenty.

yeah, maybe. but man, giraffes are total pussies.

Mr Bread · « **Reply #135 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:14:06 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM

there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow. you couldn't even wound it. even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.

asava · « **Reply #136 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:21:28 PM »

Asked my lady friend this morning, her immediate response: "Rabbit."

Dr Rick Daris · « **Reply #137 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:37:12 PM »

Quote from: Mr Bread on July 12, 2012, 12:14:06 PM

Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow. you couldn't even wound it. even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.

that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two

puniraptor · « **Reply #138 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:39:54 PM »

Quote from: rick daris on July 12, 2012, 12:37:12 PM

Quote from: Mr Bread on July 12, 2012, 12:14:06 PM
Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow. you couldn't even wound it. even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.

that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two

I would jam my arm down it's throat and suffocate it from within.

steve dave · « **Reply #139 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:45:22 PM »

you couldn't get its mouth open if it didn't want you to. also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh. he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die.

Mr Bread · « **Reply #140 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:52:12 PM »

Quote from: puniraptor on July 12, 2012, 12:39:54 PM

Quote from: rick daris on July 12, 2012, 12:37:12 PM
Quote from: Mr Bread on July 12, 2012, 12:14:06 PM
Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 08:59:30 AM
there is no way you could take even a medium sized cow. you couldn't even wound it. even if it just stood there it could take your punches/kicks and be unphased until you exhausted yourself.

Confirmed.

that's such bullshit. I mean, you might have to be pretty unconventional and start biting off body parts and gouging out eyeballs or something but if you put me and a medium sized dairy cow in a room with the statement that I would get no food or water and couldn't leave the room until the cow was dead you can take it to the rough ridin' bank that there would be one god damned dead cow within a day or two

I would jam my arm down it's throat and suffocate it from within.

Best offense is a good defense. That's like saying you could kill a punching bag. They're the Highlander of the animal kingdom.

Dr Rick Daris · « **Reply #141 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:56:48 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 12:45:22 PM

you couldn't get it's mouth open if it didn't want you to. also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh. he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die.

you have no idea what i can bite through and what i can't. question for you- in your entire life, have you ever witnessed me attempt to bite through something and fail? times up, you haven't. i'd bite those things off that hang down and then start jamming stuff up there. i'd kill that cow. sorry if some of you can't or don't want to deal with that but that's life and it's not always pretty. sorry it it offends some of your senses or your world view.

steve dave · « **Reply #142 on:** July 12, 2012, 12:58:30 PM »

Quote from: rick daris on July 12, 2012, 12:56:48 PM

Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 12:45:22 PM
you couldn't get it's mouth open if it didn't want you to. also, rick daris couldn't bite through it's flesh. he would exhaust himself while the dairy cow chews it's cud and waits for daris to die.

you have no idea what i can bite through and what i can't. question for you- in your entire life, have you ever witnessed me attempt to bite through something and fail? times up, you haven't. i'd bite those things off that hang down and then start jamming stuff up there. i'd kill that cow. sorry if some of you can't or don't want to deal with that but that's life and it's not always pretty. sorry it it offends some of your senses or your world view.

sorry, you can't. before you could even bite enough of a hole in it's skin layer to draw blood your teeth would be destroyed.

bubbles4ksu · « **Reply #143 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:05:03 PM »

the people who are saying that a man couldn't kill a cow are turning this thread into a joke.

steve dave · « **Reply #144 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:06:03 PM »

Quote from: Ging on July 12, 2012, 01:05:03 PM

the people who are saying that a man couldn't kill a cow are turning this thread into a joke.

ok guy who claimed he could take a wolf

The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep · « **Reply #145 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:09:03 PM »

I think Daris could kill a cow in hand to hand combat. Think about it, the cow and Daris are probably both starving to death. Cows eat grass, Daris isn't grass. Daris eats cows (Daris, you're not a weirdy, right?), and that cow is a cow. The cow won't be aggressive towards our man Daris, Daris wins 9 out 10 times.

Also, cow's teeth aren't meant for cutting anything, just grinding up grass. It might be painful, but you could definitely put your fist down that cow's throat and strangle it.

The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep · « **Reply #146 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:09:50 PM »

Quote from: steve dave on July 12, 2012, 01:06:03 PM

ok guy who claimed he could take a wolf

Yeah, like, how much can a cow honestly weigh, Ging? Like 80 lbs MAX

8manpick · « **Reply #147 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:11:39 PM »

You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies. I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

bubbles4ksu · « **Reply #148 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:15:13 PM »

Quote from: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:11:39 PM

You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies. I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

in sd's and BTK's fat and creepy faces, respectively.

8manpick · « **Reply #149 on:** July 12, 2012, 01:15:58 PM »

Quote from: Ging on July 12, 2012, 01:15:13 PM

Quote from: 8manpick on July 12, 2012, 01:11:39 PM
You guys are either seriously underestimating what a human could do when faced with the prospect of death by animal or you are total pussies. I think most people on here could take a wolf when it came down to it.

http://www.cracked.com/funny-2935-killed-with-bare-hands/

in sd's and BTK's fat and creepy faces, respectively.

A rough ridin' 77 YEAR OLD MAN FOUGHT OFF A rough ridin' COUGAR!!!