Author Topic: Catholic Wedding Tips (Read 3413 times)

OlatheWildcat · « **on:** June 09, 2012, 10:41:02 PM »

Hey guys, I'm a groomsman in a Catholic wedding in about a month and was wondering what should I expect. How long will this thing go, like 3 hours? Also, need good jokes to tell for my toast. Both are K-Staters, groom is probably a 6 and bride is probably a 3.

wetwillie · « **Reply #1 on:** June 09, 2012, 10:49:18 PM »

make a quip during your toast about getting some good birth control, also you should put your liver on a steady diet of jameson and old charter starting tonight to give yourself a fighting chance of holding your liquor with the wedding party.

8manpick · « **Reply #2 on:** June 09, 2012, 11:41:35 PM »

At a Catholic wedding tonight with Jmlynch, Mocat, and Waks.

my advice is to drink your ass off while the open bar is still going

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ben ji · « **Reply #3 on:** June 09, 2012, 11:46:03 PM »

I have attended two catholic weddings. The first one took about two houurs.....I ended up counting all the crosses in the church, there were 110. The second one I went to only lasted about 1 HR. I watched the USA ENGLAND world cup game on my phone, the second one was better obviously.

TheHamburglar · « **Reply #4 on:** June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM »

What city is the wedding in?

OlatheWildcat · « **Reply #5 on:** June 09, 2012, 11:54:48 PM »

Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM

What city is the wedding in?

Topeka

TheHamburglar · « **Reply #6 on:** June 10, 2012, 12:07:29 AM »

Quote from: OlatheWildcat on June 09, 2012, 11:54:48 PM

Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM
What city is the wedding in?

Topeka

You need to start drinking everyday starting right now, however you won't need to train as hard as you would have if it was a Western Kansas Catholic wedding. Very few things as fun as a Western Kansas Catholic wedding.

hemmy · « **Reply #7 on:** June 10, 2012, 12:53:22 AM »

If it lasts longer than 1 hour they are doing it wrong.

8manpick · « **Reply #8 on:** June 10, 2012, 01:48:31 AM »

Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 10, 2012, 12:07:29 AM

Quote from: OlatheWildcat on June 09, 2012, 11:54:48 PM
Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM
What city is the wedding in?

Topeka

You need to start drinking everyday starting right now, however you won't need to train as hard as you would have if it was a Western Kansas Catholic wedding. Very few things as fun as a Western Kansas Catholic wedding.

Lol, my recent experiences with western Kansas drinkers puts them about on par with my 19 year old cousin.

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Do Work Son · « **Reply #9 on:** June 10, 2012, 02:28:40 AM »

When your making the toast say, may all your ups and downs be between the sheets.

massofcatfan · « **Reply #10 on:** June 10, 2012, 08:16:06 AM »

if there is communion remember the rule: CATHOLICS ONLY

AppleJack · « **Reply #11 on:** June 10, 2012, 08:40:42 AM »

talk about how we were all monkeys a few years ago.

O-town Kat · « **Reply #12 on:** June 10, 2012, 11:10:15 AM »

Best man and groomsmen in my family are supposed to kidnap the bride during the reception and knock down a bottle of Jack while taking a trip through a cemetery to symbolize the end of her life or something. Non-trads are sometimes annoyed that the bride has disappeared from the reception for awhile.

bubbles4ksu · « **Reply #13 on:** June 10, 2012, 11:36:15 AM »

Quote from: 8manpick on June 10, 2012, 01:48:31 AM

Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 10, 2012, 12:07:29 AM
Quote from: OlatheWildcat on June 09, 2012, 11:54:48 PM
Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM
What city is the wedding in?

Topeka

You need to start drinking everyday starting right now, however you won't need to train as hard as you would have if it was a Western Kansas Catholic wedding. Very few things as fun as a Western Kansas Catholic wedding.

Lol, my recent experiences with western Kansas drinkers puts them about on par with my 19 year old cousin.

Sent from my GT-S5830M using Tapatalk 2

you forgot to add that your cousin was female.

chunkles · « **Reply #14 on:** June 10, 2012, 11:48:23 AM »

stand up sit down fight fight fight

TheHamburglar · « **Reply #15 on:** June 10, 2012, 12:27:20 PM »

Quote from: AppleJack on June 10, 2012, 08:40:42 AM

talk about how we were all monkeys a few years ago.

This won't bother Catholics.

Also, I've been to a lot of catholic weddings, none have lasted over an hour even with all the bells and whistles.

eastcat · « **Reply #16 on:** June 10, 2012, 01:30:30 PM »

"I understand some of you like to touch little boys, and others like to cover up touching little boys. But me, myself and I prefer to touch big girls"

Then awkwardly stare at some fat girl in the crowd and say "You know who you are".

DQ12 · « **Reply #17 on:** June 10, 2012, 01:32:05 PM »

Quote from: eastcat on June 10, 2012, 01:30:30 PM

"I understand some of you like to touch little boys, and others like to cover up touching little boys. But me, myself and I prefer to touch big girls"

Then awkwardly stare at some fat girl in the crowd and say "You know who you are".

That wouldn't be well-received.

The Tonya Harding of Twitter Users Creep · « **Reply #18 on:** June 10, 2012, 01:38:58 PM »

Went to a Catholic wedding in Syracuse, NY last summer. The Virgin Mary gets like 43874874 flowers next to her picture. If you say something like "Christ, why does she get more flowers than the bridesmaids?!" People do NOT laugh.

8manpick · « **Reply #19 on:** June 10, 2012, 02:05:24 PM »

Quote from: BeanTownCat on June 10, 2012, 01:38:58 PM

Went to a Catholic wedding in Syracuse, NY last summer. The Virgin Mary gets like 43874874 flowers next to her picture. If you say something like "Christ, why does she get more flowers than the bridesmaids?!" People do NOT laugh.

I would laugh

ednksu · « **Reply #20 on:** June 10, 2012, 04:10:04 PM »

Find out if they are doing a full mass or just the wedding ceremony. If its just the wedding it wont be that long <1hr.

Are they Irish, Italian or some kinda spanish Catholic? That will let you know what kind of booze you are about to consume.
**Warning if they are convert Catholics you run the risk of a dry wedding**

Is this at Christ the King @ 25th and Wanamaker or Most Pure Heart or one of the ones in central/downtown?
Where is the reception?

slobber · « **Reply #21 on:** June 10, 2012, 04:20:18 PM »

Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 10, 2012, 12:07:29 AM

Quote from: OlatheWildcat on June 09, 2012, 11:54:48 PM
Quote from: TheHamburglar on June 09, 2012, 11:48:41 PM
What city is the wedding in?

Topeka

You need to start drinking everyday starting right now, however you won't need to train as hard as you would have if it was a Western Kansas Catholic wedding. Very few things as fun as a Western Kansas Catholic wedding.

I was a Western KS Catholic Wedding. However, it was no different than an NE KS Catholic wedding. Lots of alcohol.
Major PRO TIP: Actually listen to the sermon from the Priest, and then give a toast that references something the Priest said. The single Catholic girls their will get wet.

EDIT: (I'd fix all the errors in that message, but the amount of alcohol I have consumed this afternoon would probably make the corrections worse than what is already written.)

OlatheWildcat · « **Reply #22 on:** June 10, 2012, 04:21:49 PM »

Quote from: ednksu on June 10, 2012, 04:10:04 PM

Find out if they are doing a full mass or just the wedding ceremony. If its just the wedding it wont be that long <1hr.

Are they Irish, Italian or some kinda spanish Catholic? That will let you know what kind of booze you are about to consume.
**Warning if they are convert Catholics you run the risk of a dry wedding**

Is this at Christ the King @ 25th and Wanamaker or Most Pure Heart or one of the ones in central/downtown?
Where is the reception?

I'm not sure of all the details, I pretty much show up wherever they tell me and roll with it. I think one is Italian and one is Irish, and there is no chance it'll be a dry wedding.

WillieWatanabe · « **Reply #23 on:** June 10, 2012, 04:29:18 PM »

was just in one last month. just a wedding and no mass. But it was still awkward. lots of long pauses. around 30 min.

ednksu · « **Reply #24 on:** June 10, 2012, 05:08:14 PM »

Quote from: OlatheWildcat on June 10, 2012, 04:21:49 PM

Quote from: ednksu on June 10, 2012, 04:10:04 PM
Find out if they are doing a full mass or just the wedding ceremony. If its just the wedding it wont be that long <1hr.

Are they Irish, Italian or some kinda spanish Catholic? That will let you know what kind of booze you are about to consume.
**Warning if they are convert Catholics you run the risk of a dry wedding**

Is this at Christ the King @ 25th and Wanamaker or Most Pure Heart or one of the ones in central/downtown?
Where is the reception?

I'm not sure of all the details, I pretty much show up wherever they tell me and roll with it. I think one is Italian and one is Irish, and there is no chance it'll be a dry wedding.

Yeah if its a mick or wop wedding booze will flow.
I hope the reception is at one of the swanky upscale places in Topeka.