Small town stories thread

[Emo EMAW]

http://www.kake.com/home/headlines/152385475.html

"I'm from Nebraska so I don't see tornados."

[joda]

Last summer I found a cheap, little snow cone maker on clearance at Target and bought it for my parents' church (and you know it's a small town because there's only one church in the town). But about a month later someone broke into the church. They left the most of the(relatively) expensive electronic equipment, the brand new microwave and several other things of value but took the snow cone maker, the clip on microphone (but not the battery pack) and a package of hotdogs out of the fridge.

[michigancat]

i have never seen a tornado

[CNS]

Last summer I found a cheap, little snow cone maker on clearance at Target and bought it for my parents' church (and you know it's a small town because there's only one church in the town). But about a month later someone broke into the church. They left the most of the(relatively) expensive electronic equipment, the brand new microwave and several other things of value but took the snow cone maker, the clip on microphone (but not the battery pack) and a package of hotdogs out of the fridge.

Those kids are going to have completely rad sing along parties

Sent from my MB611 using Tapatalk

[SdK]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,330642,00.html

My hometown.  I attended the public high school FWIW.

St. Mary's?


Rock Creek!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Bloodfart]

If I could bottle up and sell my natural gas, I too could be a millionaire.

Bloodfart post 

[Skipper44]

You know what's an absolute treat?  Small townie local politics.  Truly the most enjoyment you can get in life. 

There's a guy in my small hometown that runs for mayor or sherrif or judge every single term.  He's a felon and dirtbag but a generally nice and funny guy.  Apparently you can run for these offices as a felon in townieville USA.  Anyway, the local paper will have an interview with the 2 or 3 people openly running for these offices prior to the elections.  Everyone will say why they are right for the job and what their qualifications are.  This guy always says stuff like, "Well, I've been in a lot of trouble and my kids have been in a lot of trouble so I know the legal system and know how to deal with people that cause trouble so I'd be the best fit as judge".  One time he was running for city council and the only other person running died just prior to th election and the dead guy got 95% of the vote. 

Also, reading the notes from city council meetings and sherrifs report in the townie newspaper are amazing.  there's one crazy lady who calls the police every night sometimes multiple times because of sounds heard in the alley behind her house.  they go out to check it out every night and tell her not to call anymore but she calls anyway.  most of the calls are, like:

Call received about cattle on roadway 2 miles south of Meade on highway 23.  Officer responded.  located owner by brand.  Owner contacted.

Call received about disturbance at house at blah blah blah street.  Officer responded.  Disturbance determined to be raccoons in attic.

Anybody with organizational skills has a very good shot an winning small town elections. When you combine the low voter turnout with the low population, all you really need to do is make sure all of your friends show up and vote. There usually won't be more than about 200 votes cast.

How great would it be if your small town was run by one of the greatest conference realignment experts in the country?  Pretty great if you enjoy swimming
http://enidnews.com/localnews/x1896291883/Swaim-wins-Garber-mayoral-post-in-landslide-election-win

“Economic development is issue No. 1,” he said before the election. “Issue No. 2 is getting the pool going bigger than ever and with more amenities than ever. Third is communication between local government, the school system and the community.”

[steve dave]

 

[Trim]

http://www.salina.com/news/story/Bowl-Plaza-Grand-Opening-6-3

[Pete]

There will be a lot of townie political positions open that they will have to find people and beg them run for to avoid the crazies from winning the election.  The only one that is ever really fought for is school board.  and, honestly, those freako parents are usually the most crazy of all.

LOL, I know a couple guys who I went to school with who are now the school board for the district that I grew up in.  You couldn't pay me to do that.

[Pete]

You know what's an absolute treat?  Small townie local politics.  Truly the most enjoyment you can get in life. 

There's a guy in my small hometown that runs for mayor or sherrif or judge every single term.  He's a felon and dirtbag but a generally nice and funny guy.  Apparently you can run for these offices as a felon in townieville USA.  Anyway, the local paper will have an interview with the 2 or 3 people openly running for these offices prior to the elections.  Everyone will say why they are right for the job and what their qualifications are.  This guy always says stuff like, "Well, I've been in a lot of trouble and my kids have been in a lot of trouble so I know the legal system and know how to deal with people that cause trouble so I'd be the best fit as judge".  One time he was running for city council and the only other person running died just prior to th election and the dead guy got 95% of the vote. 

Also, reading the notes from city council meetings and sherrifs report in the townie newspaper are amazing.  there's one crazy lady who calls the police every night sometimes multiple times because of sounds heard in the alley behind her house.  they go out to check it out every night and tell her not to call anymore but she calls anyway.  most of the calls are, like:

Call received about cattle on roadway 2 miles south of Meade on highway 23.  Officer responded.  located owner by brand.  Owner contacted.

Call received about disturbance at house at blah blah blah street.  Officer responded.  Disturbance determined to be raccoons in attic.

Anybody with organizational skills has a very good shot an winning small town elections. When you combine the low voter turnout with the low population, all you really need to do is make sure all of your friends show up and vote. There usually won't be more than about 200 votes cast.

How great would it be if your small town was run by one of the greatest conference realignment experts in the country?  Pretty great if you enjoy swimming
http://enidnews.com/localnews/x1896291883/Swaim-wins-Garber-mayoral-post-in-landslide-election-win

“Economic development is issue No. 1,” he said before the election. “Issue No. 2 is getting the pool going bigger than ever and with more amenities than ever. Third is communication between local government, the school system and the community.”

Did you guy see that the Big 12 pulled his credentials?  He cannot attend a Big 12 event as a "press" member.  He claims it was because he runs a recruiting site as well, but that doesn't really jibe with the treatment of the Rivals guys.

[jmlynch1]

http://www.salina.com/news/story/Bowl-Plaza-Grand-Opening-6-3

Lucas is such a center for batshit crazy. I don't know whether I love it or fear it.

[Dr Rick Daris]

Did you guy see that the Big 12 pulled his credentials?  He cannot attend a Big 12 event as a "press" member.  He claims it was because he runs a recruiting site as well.

maybe this is why fitz doesn't cover kstate recruiting? 

[Pete]

Did you guy see that the Big 12 pulled his credentials?  He cannot attend a Big 12 event as a "press" member.  He claims it was because he runs a recruiting site as well.

maybe this is why fitz doesn't cover kstate recruiting? 

I was thinking about that.  However, Cassidy does.

[Trim]

In addition to not covering much, Alexander Wedding Weekend notwithstanding, GPC also doesn't do this - http://www.gregswaim.com/players/ and http://www.gregswaim.com/coaches/