Author Topic: My New Neighbor is a Cop *UPDATE EDITION (Read 18745 times)

waks · « **Reply #50 on:** March 11, 2010, 06:26:17 AM »

Quote from: asava on March 10, 2010, 10:58:29 PM

Quote from: krazykat on March 10, 2010, 10:53:23 PM
kill the dog.

being a dog man myself, i don't think i would have what it takes.

I know for a fact that you raised a puppy for a semester before throwing it into a wood-chipper in order to gain acceptance into some strange cult called a "fraternity" six years ago. Don't bullshit us, Asava.

dmartin · « **Reply #51 on:** March 11, 2010, 07:50:46 AM »

Quote from: asava on March 10, 2010, 09:29:33 PM

I will keep everyone updated. I move in this weekend. As far as the moving, its not an option. Get over it. Unless you want to find me a house in the area that is decent, and pay to get out of my contract. Then we can talk.

And as far as illicit activities, i've decided that there are two types of people in this world the people who get caught with dead hookers in their garages and the people that don't (get caught). lets do this.

This could work out beautifully. Who better than a cop to point out the location of a few hookers that need to be dead? You get your hookers to kill, and he cleans up the streets of those dirty whores. You let him smack a few dead hookers around and all is well.

doom · « **Reply #52 on:** March 11, 2010, 08:12:19 AM »

Quote from: dmartin on March 11, 2010, 07:50:46 AM

Quote from: asava on March 10, 2010, 09:29:33 PM
I will keep everyone updated. I move in this weekend. As far as the moving, its not an option. Get over it. Unless you want to find me a house in the area that is decent, and pay to get out of my contract. Then we can talk.

And as far as illicit activities, i've decided that there are two types of people in this world the people who get caught with dead hookers in their garages and the people that don't (get caught). lets do this.

This could work out beautifully. Who better than a cop to point out the location of a few hookers that need to be dead? You get your hookers to kill, and he cleans up the streets of those dirty whores. You let him smack a few dead hookers around and all is well.

You need to put a dead hooker in his trunks and when he finds it conveniently be there to help him dispose of it. That way he owes you.

TBL · « **Reply #53 on:** March 11, 2010, 08:38:31 AM »

Quote from: doom on March 11, 2010, 08:12:19 AM

Quote from: dmartin on March 11, 2010, 07:50:46 AM
Quote from: asava on March 10, 2010, 09:29:33 PM
I will keep everyone updated. I move in this weekend. As far as the moving, its not an option. Get over it. Unless you want to find me a house in the area that is decent, and pay to get out of my contract. Then we can talk.

And as far as illicit activities, i've decided that there are two types of people in this world the people who get caught with dead hookers in their garages and the people that don't (get caught). lets do this.

This could work out beautifully. Who better than a cop to point out the location of a few hookers that need to be dead? You get your hookers to kill, and he cleans up the streets of those dirty whores. You let him smack a few dead hookers around and all is well.

You need to put a dead hooker in his trunks and when he finds it conveniently be there to help him dispose of it. That way he owes you.

Would have to be a midget hooker to fit in his trunks. This could get interesting.

DILLIGAF · « **Reply #54 on:** March 11, 2010, 01:55:08 PM »

You know they become cops to compensate for other shortcomings, so no worries on the Mrs. wanting anything from him. Unless she has a uniform fetish, then could be an issue. Bet the dog is female though, if you get my gist.

hth

Dugout DickStone · « **Reply #55 on:** March 11, 2010, 02:12:07 PM »

eff his wife and film it.

sys · « **Reply #56 on:** March 11, 2010, 04:51:50 PM »

Quote from: Limestone on March 11, 2010, 02:12:07 PM

shazbot! his wife and film it.

that's a good idea. but also kill the cop.

KITNfury · « **Reply #57 on:** March 12, 2010, 08:40:51 AM »

Quote from: TBL on March 10, 2010, 09:33:46 PM

Oh, good rough ridin' god. Start the grill and invite him over for a beer. Friend for life.

Worst idea ever. He'll plot to get you one way or another forever if you do.

leroylulu · « **Reply #58 on:** March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM »

Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

jtksu · « **Reply #59 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:35:47 PM »

Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM

Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

Well, Asava's days of freedom are certainly limited now.

CNS · « **Reply #60 on:** March 12, 2010, 02:49:34 PM »

Quote from: jtksu on March 12, 2010, 02:35:47 PM

Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM
Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

Well, Asava's days of freedom are certainly limited now.

This is awesome. Keep his lawnmower.

chum1 · « **Reply #61 on:** March 12, 2010, 03:10:06 PM »

Please let this be true.

Johnny Wichita · « **Reply #62 on:** March 12, 2010, 04:43:56 PM »

sys · « **Reply #63 on:** March 13, 2010, 09:01:34 PM »

Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM

Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

die, cop.

TBL · « **Reply #64 on:** March 13, 2010, 09:04:07 PM »

Quote from: sys on March 13, 2010, 09:01:34 PM

Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM
Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

die, cop.

OK_Cat · « **Reply #65 on:** March 13, 2010, 09:58:26 PM »

Quote from: TBL on March 13, 2010, 09:04:07 PM

Quote from: sys on March 13, 2010, 09:01:34 PM
Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM
Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

die, cop.

don't you have some black people to beat with your billy club, cop?

TBL · « **Reply #66 on:** March 13, 2010, 10:01:41 PM »

Quote from: OK_Cat on March 13, 2010, 09:58:26 PM

Quote from: TBL on March 13, 2010, 09:04:07 PM
Quote from: sys on March 13, 2010, 09:01:34 PM
Quote from: leroylulu on March 12, 2010, 12:10:38 PM
Well, looks like we're both fans of this site!

die, cop.

don't you have some black people to beat with your billy club, cop?

Nah. Usually start my day with dumping oklahomo trash down open oil wells.

OK_Cat · « **Reply #67 on:** March 13, 2010, 10:07:54 PM »

I could literally kill you. literally.

TBL · « **Reply #68 on:** March 13, 2010, 10:18:01 PM »

Quote from: OK_Cat on March 13, 2010, 10:07:54 PM

I could literally kill you. literally.

I'm looking forward to your attempt.

Dugout DickStone · « **Reply #69 on:** March 14, 2010, 12:40:28 PM »

Cops are poor. Your new neighborhood sounds crapty. Maybe save some more $$ and move later.

Pete · « **Reply #70 on:** March 14, 2010, 12:53:53 PM »

I like cops!

asava · « **Reply #71 on:** March 15, 2010, 12:30:49 PM »

It's been two days and still no sign of him. I think this is the part wher I get real scared and paranoid.

jtksu · « **Reply #72 on:** March 15, 2010, 12:35:46 PM »

Quote from: asava on March 15, 2010, 12:30:49 PM

It's been two days and still no sign of him. I think this is the part wher I get real scared and paranoid.

Obviously a vampire. You're double screwed now.

asava · « **Reply #73 on:** April 10, 2010, 10:14:07 PM »

ever since i've moved here, i haven't seen the car. at all. on top of that i've met his wife who is prego. also learned that the dog is not a trained assassin of fun times. in fact its name is: FAWN.

how could i be so scared of a dog named FAWN?

still have a nagging suspicion that he is just toying with me.

TBL · « **Reply #74 on:** April 10, 2010, 10:19:09 PM »

Quote from: asava on April 10, 2010, 10:14:07 PM

ever since i've moved here, i haven't seen the car. at all. on top of that i've met his wife who is prego. also learned that the dog is not a trained assassin of fun times. in fact its name is: FAWN. how could i be so scared of a dog named FAWN?

still have a nagging suspicion that he is just toying with me.

You got his wife prego'd???