Master Dating Thread

[8manpick]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

#team mocat here. Fake boobs are like an affliction shirt you wear under your skin.

Yep, fake boobs seem to be way overrated by both the Ed Hardy/Affliction segment of society and the trailer park/skoal/nascar segment.

[yoga-like_abana]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

#team mocat here. Fake boobs are like an affliction shirt you wear under your skin.

pfftt

[chum1]

Fake boobs are usually rock hard. It's kinda exciting at first, but pretty pud most of the time. Overall, there's no fixing ugly.

Kind of disagree.  People who are in great shape are rarely ugly.  Sure, some people are unlucky enough to have some pretty severe facial maladies, but most people are at least average enough, in terms of facial aesthetics, to be pretty attractive if they are very fit.

Every four years:  "OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGE WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH TEN METRIC TONS OF CONDOMS OH MY GOD."

[CNS]

Fake boobs are usually rock hard. It's kinda exciting at first, but pretty pud most of the time. Overall, there's no fixing ugly.

Kind of disagree.  People who are in great shape are rarely ugly.  Sure, some people are unlucky enough to have some pretty severe facial maladies, but most people are at least average enough, in terms of facial aesthetics, to be pretty attractive if they are very fit.

Every four years:  "OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGE WHAT IS GOING ON IN THE OLYMPIC VILLAGE THEY HAVE GONE THROUGH TEN METRIC TONS OF CONDOMS OH MY GOD."

Fitz disagrees with this.

[Emo EMAW]

Guys, one thing about fake boobs.  Sometimes girls are born with like way smaller boobs than even Sean Lowe.  That's sometimes why they get them.  I guess what I'm saying is I'll take Jake Waters over Sam Johnson, even if both of them are going to be riding the pine a lot.  Hope that clears things up.

[Mr Bread]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

#team mocat here. Fake boobs are like an affliction shirt you wear under your skin.

Yep, fake boobs seem to be way overrated by both the Ed Hardy/Affliction segment of society and the trailer park/skoal/nascar segment.

I'm not surprised to see that I am in complete agreement with mocat/puniraptor/8manpick here.  (but with real breasts)

[EMAWmeister]

Fanning would eff a chick with fake knocks.

[j-dub]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

#team mocat here. Fake boobs are like an affliction shirt you wear under your skin.

Yep, fake boobs seem to be way overrated by both the Ed Hardy/Affliction segment of society and the trailer park/skoal/nascar segment.

I'm not surprised to see that I am in complete agreement with mocat/puniraptor/8manpick here.  (but with real breasts)

[Cartierfor3]

Its like a Christmas tree.  Classy people like the real thing. 

[star seed 7]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

i think you have no idea what a tuck is.

fake boobs are gross.  i bet you love fat girls too, because they have like triple E bra sizes.

[Cartierfor3]

Also its like butter vs. Margarine. Margarine might seem like the better option, but it tastes way worse and in the long run all the weird impurities build up in your body.   

[mocat]

Also its like butter vs. Margarine. Margarine might seem like the better option, but it tastes way worse and in the long run all the weird impurities build up in your body.

Yeah if you prefer margarine to butter you are a fake boobs Fake Sugar Dick (WARNING, NOT THE REAL SUGAR DICK!) and you probably are unhealthy or will be in the near future. Also you prefer mount Rushmore to pikes peak, and splenda to sugar, and The Venetian to actual Venice. Gtfo, this is the dating thread, not the fake boobs thread

[DQ12]

I got rip roaring drunk, banged her after the bars, went to the game, and drove home as fast as I could.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZuYIq-J5l9I#t=12s

THAT'S OUR FANNING!

[star seed 7]

fanning, i just want to say that i enjoy you, and your stories.

[Rage Against the McKee]

In the light of #catfish, I told dlew I'd share my twitter story. Two years ago a mizzou girl started to follow me on twitter and tweeted at me all the time about sports. She told me she was a mizzou grad and was getting her masters at mizzou st. Over time, she'd start DM'ing me about games, favorite spots in KC, what game I was going to next, etc. Eventually it got close to the holidays and we exchanged numbers cause she thought she'd be in KC. Conversations picked up and late night pics started being sent. Holy moly, some of these pics were nice. She'd text me explicit and erotic things and told me how she wanted to meet soon. I eventually added her on Facebook and the pics matched up. So I said screw it, I'm going to meet her.

Eventually our first game at mizzou came up and she offered me a deal I couldn't pass on. If I drove to Columbia for the weekend,  she would put us up at her friends place and buy my ticket to the game. She even wanted to cover my gas and my drinks. So I agreed to do it.

I get there expecting the girl I've been seeing in pics. However,  that's not what happened. It was her all right, but with about 45 lbs added on. You could tell she was embarrassed,  but she didn't care, I was there. So I'm trapped in como for 48 hours until the game (big monday) and I make the most of it. I got rip roaring drunk, banged her after the bars, went to the game, and drove home as fast as I could. NEVER AGAIN!

I hope the disease was curable.

[mocat]

NEVER AGAIN!

Which part?

[Dugout DickStone]

Ex-girlfriend who I had feelings for a long time (kinda still do) just told me she has feelings for me. But there's also this other girl who I just started seeing like 2 weeks ago.

don't backtrack.  life moves one way.

yup.  In college exes are just fine.  Once you are in the real world, move forward at all costs.  College is a perfect biosphere where you will (and must) recycle but after you have a job and $$ every time you break up is for a good reason.  She isn't the one.  And won't be.  A single male EMAW is the most in demand human out there.  Just keep going. 

[Emo EMAW]

I have a similar story to fanning's.  Only it was sister's friend when she was going to school in Los Angeles.  Went out there to visit, did not like what I saw.  First night we were supposed to hook up but I purposely got so rip roaring drunk I yakked a whole bunch and got out of it.

[The1BigWillie]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

i think you have no idea what a tuck is.

fake boobs are gross.  i bet you love fat girls too, because they have like triple E bra sizes.

I'm betting you've never sniffed anything above a 6 and are a chronic masturbator.

[CNS]

fanning, i just want to say that i enjoy you, and your stories.

Fanning lives out loud and if you don't like it something is wrong with you.

[j-dub]

fanning, i just want to say that i enjoy you, and your stories.

Fanning lives out loud and if you don't like it something is wrong with you.

i personally wouldn't have him live any other way.

[mocat]

Dude, fake boobs are gross. I don't understand how anybody could find that attractive.

I've never wanted a tuck emoticon more than right now.

i think you have no idea what a tuck is.

fake boobs are gross.  i bet you love fat girls too, because they have like triple E bra sizes.

I'm betting you've never sniffed anything above a 6 and are a chronic masturbator.

never sniffed anything above a 6

[Winters]

NEVER AGAIN!

Which part?

Believing a twitter follower? Banging a fat chick, not meeting the person before the trip, etc.

[kstate16]

I have a similar story to fanning's.  Only it was sister's friend when she was going to school in Los Angeles.  Went out there to visit, did not like what I saw.  First night we were supposed to hook up but I purposely got so rip roaring drunk I yakked a whole bunch and got out of it.

Used this sort of technique on many occasions.  Another variation of this technique is to tell a couple of your buddies to act like you can't stand and "help" you walk out of the bar (like arms around both friends dragging feet), and once your out of the bar run like hell.

[Gooch]

I have a similar story to fanning's.  Only it was sister's friend when she was going to school in Los Angeles.  Went out there to visit, did not like what I saw.  First night we were supposed to hook up but I purposely got so rip roaring drunk I yakked a whole bunch and got out of it.

Used this sort of technique on many occasions.  Another variation of this technique is to tell a couple of your buddies to act like you can't stand and "help" you walk out of the bar (like arms around both friends dragging feet), and once your out of the bar run like hell.

Bunch of pussies afraid to bang the ugly chic. Man up eff her and then deny it to your boys till the day you die.