TCUHornedFrog for the sake of your kid just be Dad for a while. Your actions impact more than just yourself when you are a Dad.
Sorry about the junk with your ex though. Can't imagine that would be easy to go through.
I'm well aware of the fact that my actions impact him. I've had my kid for 9 years. He's still alive. He's a damn good student and he is healthy. He's a pretty awesome kid.
It wasn't easy to go through this but the good thing is that I'm done (it happened over 18 months to 2 years). There's no revisiting this decision. There's no second chances. I was upset about all this stuff after she got arrested the second time, but I prepared myself for the eventuality that she would go back to using. So when it happened, I was done. That was the deal breaker for me. The only reason I gave her a chance to go to rehab was because I had promised my kid that I would try to make it work with her.
