If you will be traveling between Topeka and Manhattan on Friday, you must use Hwy 24 (not I-70) and you must stop at the Kreem Kup in Wamego. You also must stop at the Green Chicken near St. George then back to The Little Grill near Tuttle Creek Dam. Then a stop at Vista after you get back on Hwy 24. After that, Aggieville, and try to puke all over the bathroom at Pita Pit (I hate that place). Pick up a switchblade at the Dara's convenience store around the corner and head to Silverado's (is that place still called Silverados?). You will need this if your gf is hot. When you wake up in the bed of a 1987 Chevy S-10 in the parking lot of Mustang's in Junction City and said gf complains of soreness, don't ask questions and head east. Roll down your windows and do not stop until you hear the roars of a crowd near the intersection of Vattier St and Mid-Campus Drive. Follow the cheers and gutteral roars and you will be on the campus of Kansas State University, facing Anderson Hall and College Gameday built by the Home Depot. Follow the crowd past some limestone buildings and a stinky vet clinic thing and you will find tailgates serving all kinds of meats, including meatgoat on a stick and my personal favorite, Deep fried Jalapeno MeatGoat. Wash it down with an ice cold Keystone Light, but do not take it if the giver is wearing a backpack, for he is an undercover cop. Once inside BSFS, cheer for the adorable purple team. After the game, head back past Anderson Hall and into Aggieville. You will get a post-game sandwich at RockaBelly, wash it down at Porter's next door, buy a shirt at Varney's that already has the final score of that day's game on it, OU - 2, KSU 66, stop at Rusty's (remember the switchblade?), across the street to O'Malley's where you will chug 6 Belfast Bombers, back across the street to Kite's, and then down to City Park where I will be waiting in a purple van with 12 antennas near the Paul Bunyan statue. Wake up, head south on KS-177, do not pass go, and never speak of what happened that weekend ever again for as long as you shall live. I will return your brother by the end of the next moon cycle. Good day.
