Warning: The following review is full of snarky and judgmental opinions. The statements and comments made by KTP do reflect his views and all complaints should be forwarded to
[email protected]. Thank you and enjoy.
Today was a day like no other. On this blistering spring day, I decided that I wanted to go out to eat my lunch. I needed something quick, but wasn’t in the mood for fast food. I couldn’t really decide exactly what I wanted and I was becoming frustrated. And then it hit me, Sirloin Stockade. It seems simple enough right, it’s quick, cheap and I could eat until my heart clogged with chicken fat. How could this be the wrong decision. Well trust me folks, it wasn’t the wrong decision. So much was good about Sirloin Stockade, or Dinner & A Show, as I call it.
I’ll start with the food. It was exactly what you would expect. Terrible, and I was okay with that. Okay, enough about the food, it is time to move on to the good stuff.
Sirloin Stockade at 12:37 on a Monday in June is a petri dish of human experimentation. I found that there were several categories of people, and within those categories, several sub categories. I don’t have time to go though each one, but I’ll do my best to hit the important groups.
First we have the elderly. The group was by far the best represented when it comes to numbers. As my eyes darted from table to table I was constantly berated by short white hair, and canes. I’m not complaining, this group was nice and easy to maneuver around. For instance, at one point a little old lady and I locked eyes when there was only one savory butter roll left. It was clear what we both wanted, but only one of us had the speed and agility to obtain our goal. That roll was damn delicious. The interesting part about the grey group, is that they weren’t in small sub groups. Instead, they sat at tables of 6 or more. Very rarely did you find a few loaners. This and the lack of Buicks in the parking lot lead me to believe that it might have been a retirement home retreat.
The next category is that of the blue collar worker. These are good Americans. Joe the Plumber types. The guys and gals are working hard, and doing a damn good job. The shouldn’t be made fun of, so I simply won’t do it. They sat at their tables, dripping sweat and enjoying their fish filets. This group was very easy to identify because at each table, at least one person had a cut off t-shirt sleeve tied around their head.
The next group that caught my eyes were the waitresses. These forty somethings hated me from the moment I choose to eat at the Stockade. They walked though the restaurant cleaning up spilled mac & cheese and counting the moments until they could climb into their cars and go home and see their families. My server came up to me with dead eyes and a sad soul and kindly refilled my ice water. I left her $4 because I think she had a kind heart and was the kind of person who wouldn’t spit in my drink when I wasn’t looking.
I’ve saved the best for last. Seriously guys, it’s about to go down as hard as if Ke$ha and Pitbull were running this. The last group was without a doubt my favorite. This group was very easy to identify. This group is the kind of people who believe shopping for lingerie anywhere but Walmart is a waste. This group believes that children don’t need to brush their baby teeth, because they’re just going to lose them anyway. I’m talking about 2 year olds running around The Kade in nothing but a diaper. I’m talking about a child who is 3+ screaming and throwing himself on the floor because he wanted more ice cream. And instead of his mom doing anything, she simply walked away and left him for the wait staff to tend to Most of these people did not seem in a hurry to get back to their jobs. They enjoyed their lunch at a leisurely rate. And piled their plates so full, I almost wondered if they realized that they could return to fill a new plate as many times as they wish. These are my heroes. I want to live this life.
In conclusion, I don’t know if I’ll ever go anywhere else to eat in MHK on a Monday for lunch. I can’t think of anyway possible to top that experience. Have a great day.
