Strange/funny things kids say.

[Saulbadguy]

I have a few stories...

First incident:
As told to me by my Aunt.... My cousin was about 3 years old, and was inline with my Aunt at the grocery store...he was sitting the cart.  My Aunt walks about 10 feet away to grab something off of an end-cap.  The lady in front of my Aunt apparently didn't see my Aunt step away and she says to my cousin "Where did you come from?"  My cousin replies "from my mon's bagina."

Second incident:
Same cousin, same age, again at the grocery store in the checkout line.  A lady standing by them had really curly black hair.  So, my cousin exclaims loudly "Mom, that lady has bagina hair on her head!"

Third incident: 
As told to me by Dooley of ksufans and goEMAW fame:  His son was 4 years old, sitting on the toilet.  Starts get an erection.  Kid yells "I can't believe my eyes, my penis is getting bigger!"

Fourth incident:
As told to me by my horrified co-worker...  She was at the grocery store (these things happen all the time there) in the checkout line and the clerk was a morbidly obese black woman who happened to have very, very dark skin.  Her three year old pointed at the woman and shout, over and over again, "monkey," "monkey," monkey."  Best part of the story is the lady and her husband are super liberal and in no way ever even talk about race in their home.  She was rough ridin' horrified.

Ya see?  All very offensive/disgusting.  Not funny at all.

[OK_Cat]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

[Saulbadguy]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

Having a legacy is not really what people who don't have kids are concerned with.

[steve dave]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

Having a legacy is not really what people who don't have kids are concerned with.

goEMAW.com is my legacy.  you are all my minions.

[OK_Cat]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

Having a legacy is not really what people who don't have kids are concerned with.

that's what most people without kids say,  kidless saul.

[kitten_mittons]

To be honest I think Facebook is a better tool for the parents than the younger hipsters that can still go outside of the house to meet people and hang out.  The parents with small kids can have outside adult contact and still watch their kids it's win win, or something like that. 

Nope, wrong.  Go use myspace or something.

can't wait til you have kids...they'll bring home spelling words and you can argue with them over how to spell words...hard words,  like mittens

Joke's on you, I totally won my 5th grade spelling bee.

On the subject of Indians (dot, not feather), little bastard destroyed me at districts.  :(

[kitten_mittons]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

I've never changed a diaper in my life.

1-1.   

[OK_Cat]

There is clearly a division in goEMAW membership between the successful people (who have kids) and the losers (who don't).

somebody better start www.idon'thaveagoodspermcountorwomenfindmeugly.goEMAW.com asap

OK Cat Butt hurt about being old and having to deal with kids?

I love having a kid.  Most people that have kids love having them.

And you know what?  If I die tomorrow (RODERICK STEWART!) then my legacy will continue.  If you (the childless) die tomorrow, then you will be forgotten by the time the worms get you.

W/Kids - 1

W/O Kids - 0

I've never changed a diaper in my life.

1-1.   

diapers aren't that bad.

when they get to be about 2ish, you can make them go get you stuff while you sit on the couch.

2-1

[SleepFighter]

Also, whatever your kid said/did - wasn't funny, wasn't cute. Was most likely disgusting or offensive.

Pretty sure that this site was founded on the principle that these things aren't mutually exclusive.

[SleepFighter]

Me talking to neighbor kid about the subject of trucks, kid "yeah, trucks are my second favorite thing in the whole world."

Me, "What's your favorite?"

Angel faced boy, "Violence."

[bakerman]

This girl I'm friends with just put up a picture on facebook of her child(2 or so ) standing next to his freshly dueced up potty training toilet....

[CNS]

People who put pics, and a lot of info, of their kids on FB are begging to have 60 minutes do an interview on them with focus on how they felt once the Amber Alert was issued and whether sexual predator legislation is strict enough. 

[_33]

People who put pics, and a lot of info, of their kids on FB are begging to have 60 minutes do an interview on them with focus on how they felt once the Amber Alert was issued and whether sexual predator legislation is strict enough. 

Only true on HiddenFacebook in the deep internet.

[Poster formerly known as jthutch]

Here is another one.  My oldest was five (5) and he was at church and they were singing songs when a blond haired girl bumped into him and some of her hair went in his mouth.  He got very upset and to the teacher that "I got her hair in my mouth and I don't know if she dies her hair or not but if she does I might have ingested some chemicals."

[Stevesie60]

I think it's hilarious when kids have speech impediments that make normal words bad words.

My friends little sister could not pronounce the letter "L", so we told her to call people "flags".

Hilarity ensued.

[Trim]

Not sure Cole rough ridin' TESTIFYING UNDER OATH and PI'ING THE crap OUT OF A DEFENDANT AT THE AGE OF 11 is getting the credit it deserves.  sedgwick.kintera.org/trim

[sys]

having children is incredibly selfish.

[TBL]

having children is incredibly selfish.

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

[bakerman]

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

 

[OK_Cat]

having children is incredibly selfish.

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

well where the eff have you been

[TBL]

having children is incredibly selfish.

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

well where the eff have you been

Otherwise occupied. Divorce will do that to ya. Did I miss anything?

[OK_Cat]

having children is incredibly selfish.

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

well where the eff have you been

Otherwise occupied. Divorce will do that to ya. Did I miss anything?

i made a thread wondering where the eff you were at. 

wife cheat on you?  sucks.

[TBL]

having children is incredibly selfish.

Yep....There it is......Was waiting for that.

well where the eff have you been

Otherwise occupied. Divorce will do that to ya. Did I miss anything?

i made a thread wondering where the eff you were at. 

wife cheat on you?  sucks.

Really. I bet that was interesting. No, it was a mutual thing. Now I gots me a girlfriend half her age.   

[K-S-U-Wildcats!]

My son has mad math skillz.

[wetwillie]

My son has mad math skillz.

Middle school math curriculum in kansas under brownback is worse than I thought.