Author Topic: Things old people are good at (Read 18522 times)

BigCat · « **Reply #25 on:** January 20, 2011, 11:31:56 PM »

Alerting people near them as to how expensive goods/services are.

Also purchasing multiple identical items that carry no-fault lifetime guarantees.

MadCat · « **Reply #26 on:** January 20, 2011, 11:39:15 PM »

Manifesting coinage in the various cranial orifices of youngsters.

Calling kids youngsters.

Being cheap.

Being grumpy.

Calling middle-aged people the future of America.

Outfoxing that wily Grim Reaper.

john "teach me how to" dougie · « **Reply #27 on:** January 20, 2011, 11:42:08 PM »

paying for everything with checks.

NXL · « **Reply #28 on:** January 21, 2011, 12:53:24 AM »

1. Helping you move and carrying twice as much down to the van as the two young punks you hired (who keep stopping to pant and gasp and say, "Man, I need some water").

2. Humiliating the high school cross-country team at last year's 5K for charity.

3. Dazzling young hotties you couldn't bone because they have daddy issues and the having sex with them ... well.

4. Working the room at fund-raisers.

5. Taking all of the students in their Thursday Night seminar down to Aggieville after class and buying the first round.

6. Paying for the beer when their favorite team is in the Super Bowl.

7. Maintaining a golf handicap that is always 3 strokes better than yours.

Sorry, but I guess I hang out with a different class of "old person."

EMAWmeister · « **Reply #29 on:** January 21, 2011, 01:12:50 AM »

Quote from: Stevesie60 on January 20, 2011, 09:10:51 PM

"What do the old people teach us but how to die?" - Say Anything

Very profound.

Love this post.

krazykat · « **Reply #30 on:** January 21, 2011, 01:16:26 AM »

sending cash or checks for missed/skipped holidays or bdays via snail mail.

kstatefreak42 · « **Reply #31 on:** January 21, 2011, 02:29:29 AM »

sending me a 5 dollar check for christmas.

slackcat · « **Reply #32 on:** January 21, 2011, 04:43:12 AM »

Quote from: kstatefreak42 on January 21, 2011, 02:29:29 AM

sending me a 5 dollar check for christmas.

_33 · « **Reply #33 on:** January 21, 2011, 06:50:08 AM »

lying

steve dave · « **Reply #34 on:** January 21, 2011, 07:00:40 AM »

Quote from: Pete on January 20, 2011, 10:50:19 PM

Obsessing over taxes

Feeling remorseful for squandering a lifetime of relationships with family and tossing shallow monetary benefits towards them in attempt to make amends...despite the obvious futility

Failing to recognize when they are loosing their capabilities in professional pursuits

Unable to change ingrained patterns that are ineffective and even destructive

Frightened of new technologies and quickly dismissive of their benefits

Pete wins

broXcore · « **Reply #35 on:** January 21, 2011, 07:32:27 AM »

murdering innocent people with their grand mariners

Johnny Wichita · « **Reply #36 on:** January 21, 2011, 07:39:34 AM »

Quote from: Pete on January 20, 2011, 10:50:19 PM

Obsessing over taxes

Feeling remorseful for squandering a lifetime of relationships with family and tossing shallow monetary benefits towards them in attempt to make amends...despite the obvious futility

Failing to recognize when they are loosing their capabilities in professional pursuits

Unable to change ingrained patterns that are ineffective and even destructive

Frightened of new technologies and quickly dismissive of their benefits

Wow. Spot on.

wabash909 · « **Reply #37 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:03:07 AM »

Handing out pieces of men's jewelry in exchange for positive media exposure.

Trim · « **Reply #38 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:13:48 AM »

Quote from: wabash909 on January 21, 2011, 08:03:07 AM

Handing out pieces of men's jewelry in exchange for positive media exposure.

Hey, old people with men's jewelry, pm me and we'll get this positive media exposure train rolling. I've already lined up a guy to resize stuff for me.

wabash909 · « **Reply #39 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:31:56 AM »

Having faces that look like a mouse and chewing gum a lot.

Bill Clarahan · « **Reply #40 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:40:48 AM »

Quote from: Panjandrum on January 20, 2011, 09:07:29 PM

2. Going to Golden Corral before 5 PM

I'm thinking the senior lunch discount ends at 3 PM

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #41 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:49:30 AM »

Sleeping. Old people take 2-3 naps a day. They go to bed by 9:00 and wake up at 6:00 every day to go complain about the coffee at a local restaurant.

MadCat · « **Reply #42 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:49:52 AM »

"mature" porn

r-a-b · « **Reply #43 on:** January 21, 2011, 08:56:02 AM »

Quote from: Trim on January 21, 2011, 08:13:48 AM

Quote from: wabash909 on January 21, 2011, 08:03:07 AM
Handing out pieces of men's jewelry in exchange for positive media exposure.

Hey, old people with men's jewelry, pm me and we'll get this positive media exposure train rolling. I've already lined up a guy to resize stuff for me.

Remember to scratch their names off and replace them with your own.

sonofdaxjones · « **Reply #44 on:** January 21, 2011, 09:05:53 AM »

Make sure it's jewelry tied to events that you and no one you're affiliated with participated in.

Rage Against the McKee · « **Reply #45 on:** January 21, 2011, 09:07:45 AM »

trying to pass their 14 year old grandkid off as a "kid" on "kids eat free night"

Trim · « **Reply #46 on:** January 21, 2011, 09:08:09 AM »

Quote from: r-a-b on January 21, 2011, 08:56:02 AM

Quote from: Trim on January 21, 2011, 08:13:48 AM
Quote from: wabash909 on January 21, 2011, 08:03:07 AM
Handing out pieces of men's jewelry in exchange for positive media exposure.

Hey, old people with men's jewelry, pm me and we'll get this positive media exposure train rolling. I've already lined up a guy to resize stuff for me.

Remember to scratch their names off and replace them with your own.

Well yeah. I'm actually having a new "Trim" logo designed for it. Unfortunately, I haven't received a single pm yet. Not sure if there's no old people here reading this or if wabash was wrong about the stereotype.

bakerman · « **Reply #47 on:** January 21, 2011, 09:42:18 AM »

Quote from: NXL on January 21, 2011, 12:53:24 AM

1. Helping you move and carrying twice as much down to the van as the two young punks you hired (who keep stopping to pant and gasp and say, "Man, I need some water").

2. Humiliating the high school cross-country team at last year's 5K for charity.

3. Dazzling young hotties you couldn't bone because they have daddy issues and the having sex with them ... well.

4. Working the room at fund-raisers.

5. Taking all of the students in their Thursday Night seminar down to Aggieville after class and buying the first round.

6. Paying for the beer when their favorite team is in the Super Bowl.

7. Maintaining a golf handicap that is always 3 strokes better than yours.

Sorry, but I guess I hang out with a different class of "old person."

Awww, you had your grandkid teach you how to use the internet... That's precious...

NXL · « **Reply #48 on:** January 21, 2011, 10:20:27 AM »

Quote from: Toupe Tactics Always Fail on January 21, 2011, 09:42:18 AM

Quote from: NXL on January 21, 2011, 12:53:24 AM
1. Helping you move and carrying twice as much down to the van as the two young punks you hired (who keep stopping to pant and gasp and say, "Man, I need some water").

2. Humiliating the high school cross-country team at last year's 5K for charity.

3. Dazzling young hotties you couldn't bone because they have daddy issues and the having sex with them ... well.

4. Working the room at fund-raisers.

5. Taking all of the students in their Thursday Night seminar down to Aggieville after class and buying the first round.

6. Paying for the beer when their favorite team is in the Super Bowl.

7. Maintaining a golf handicap that is always 3 strokes better than yours.

Sorry, but I guess I hang out with a different class of "old person."

Awww, you had your grandkid teach you how to use the internet... That's precious...

Not exactly, but I did teach the above "old people" how to use the internet.

Brock Landers · « **Reply #49 on:** January 21, 2011, 10:24:28 AM »

When it comes to having discussions about Social Security and the weather, nobody does it better than old people. NOBODY.