What not to do in a social situation

[CHONGS]

With the extreme success of Answers to awkward social situations, I think a spin-off is necessary.  We often find ourselves in a social situation that is not awkward yet, but very well could become so.  Well, never fear, I can tell you what NOT to do to create an awkward social situation.  Keep in mind this is not how to address a currently awkward situation.  For that you should consult the previous goEMAW blockbuster.   

Here is a great example:

Dinner tomorrow with another family whose husband doesn't drink. He used to, but just doesn't now. I'll probably be drinking because the wife still drinks. Do you ask why the person doesn't drink? Try to find out why he doesn't drink through a third party? Just ignore it?

Not awkward, but the potential is very strong if the wrong social move is made! 

What not to do:
Offer to buy drinks for the whole table, but then point at the guy who no longer drinks and say loudly, "Except this guy, he apparently has a problem.  Give him another goddamn glass of water with lemon".  Afterward, pointedly look around the restaurant to see how much attention you brought.

If you don't do the above, you should be OK.

[Dr Rick Daris]

situation- i'm at the alamo bowl with some friends and their wives. we all like each other and generally have a great time together.

[puniraptor]

situation- i'm at the alamo bowl with some friends and their wives. we all like each other and generally have a great time together.

dont go to that insult restaurant where they write racist/pervy stuff on your paper hat

[Asteriskhead]

situation- i'm at the alamo bowl with some friends and their wives. we all like each other and generally have a great time together.

Don't get so drunk that you projectile vomit all over a public restroom.

[puniraptor]

can confirm

[CHONGS]

situation- i'm at the alamo bowl with some friends and their wives. we all like each other and generally have a great time together.

What not to do:

Demand salsa at every meal.  Demand to the point of possibly getting removed and arrested from the restaurant.  Start by doing this (in a ha ha joking manner) for breakfast one morning and go over the top at how flavorful it is. Especially point out how much better it is than what you can get in Kansas.  From then on, no matter where you go (coffee shop, italian place, bar, etc.) ask for salsa (preferably mild), but more aggressively each time.

[pissclams]

situ-
at cole haan store 64112
I ask the lady to use their suede cleaner demo kit and show me how to clean a pair of chuckas I bought there and was wearing. i said if it worked, I would buy it.  she said no.

[Gooch]

situ-
at cole haan store 64112
I ask the lady to use their suede cleaner demo kit and show me how to clean a pair of chuckas I bought there and was wearing. i said if it worked, I would buy it.  she said no.

Punch to the face seems appropriate.

[Phil Titola]

situ-
at cole haan store 64112
I ask the lady to use their suede cleaner demo kit and show me how to clean a pair of chuckas I bought there and was wearing. i said if it worked, I would buy it.  she said no.

That's just weird.  Just stare at her???

[pissclams]

I told her to eff off and left the store in an angry way

[BIG APPLE CAT]

wait so there are alternatives to just climbin up on the big throne and having someone else take care of it?

[pissclams]

you don't polish suede shoes, chief