I hold a degree from Kansas State University. Even after 6 years my arm isn't tired. Partly because "holding a degree" doesn't mean that I am literally carrying it around. In fact, sometimes I forget where it is and have to pull it out of my filing cabinet and take a look just to make sure I am not a fraud and that I have been appropriately validated for middle class employment.
The other part of holding a degree from Kansas State University is that the paper isn't that heavy so there is a chance that I literally could've held it for the past 6 years. There would be some down sides though.
One downside would be that I would be holding a piece of paper all the time, every moment. Like a bad version of those "touch this thing the longest to win a contest to own it."
Another downside would be that I would feel the need to live my life as a literal pun metaphor. Function would take a back seat. Paper cuts would take a front seat.
The last part of holding a degree from Kansas State is that some people don't congratulate me on how awesome an achievement that is.
Some people consider Kansas State University pud. One metric they use to justify this is our 99% acceptance rate. These people are unamerican trash.
Our acceptance rate says "Bring it on!"
If you can't hack it, we will sort the wheat from the chaff with a little help from out national championship grain judging team. Or maybe you think you can just waltz on to campus and get a degree just by enrolling.
You would be ill informed if that were the case. There are a whole bunch of steps you would be leaving out. And Kstate would tell you to take your game to Pitt state.
42% of the students that walk through the limestone gates walk back home having been bested by the 6 year brain buster marathon of Kansas state. College, like life, is not a sprint. That is why only 27% of Kansas State students graduate in 4 years. Most of those probably did that when we sucked at football and basketball at the same time.
Let's take another school just for example, Michigan. Nearly 90% of the chiefs souls willing to stick out a few Northern winters get a wink, a nod and a dgree. They pretty much pass them around with a bottle of brandy on Saturdays at the Big House.
I'll leave you with this point. A West Point actually. 85% of US military college attendees walk out of there with a diploma. Imagine if the military college was as tough as Kansas State. Maybe the US would be that much more awesome. Probably would've colonized mars and stuff.
Holding a Kstate degree is like re-writing the first scene of Cliff Hanger. We are super studs and at Kansas State University, only the strong survive.
So I decided to take my merit badge for being a badass out of the drawer and show it off. Been flexin' on fools all over the office. They don't really know, but now they know enough to know better.
