Hello, EMAW people. Sorry to keep you in suspense... It's basketball season now, and much like our administration over the past 6 years, I haven't really been paying much attention to football.
First off, I apologize to your fan base and to the Corpse of LHC Bill Snyder for the firing of Todd Dodge. By terminating him midseason, North Texas will keep the Corpse of LHC Bill Snyder from joining the elite fraternity of coaches to have defeated Todd Dodge, better known as F---ING EVERYONE (even Ron Prince!). Instead, Snyder will have to try and outcoach our interim guy, better known as Jim Leavitt's non-union Mexican equivalent, a guy who has already been neutered before your game ever happens. He already knows he's not getting our HC job, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him just curl up in a ball and take a beating (just like rumored new HC Dan McCarney's ex-wife!).
Anyway... The joke is on you guys. You actually have to sit through a game at our godawful embarrassment of a football stadium. Don't loiter around afterward to take pictures... It's the last game ever and hopefully we'll start bulldozing it right after the final gun sounds. The last thing we need is for one of you wheat jockeys to get buried in rubble, sue us, and end up with a lien against our fancy new stadium across the highway.
Speaking of embarrassments... In case any of you haven't stopped by our forum-
here's the most embarrassing thing I think I've ever seen on any fan forum, ever. Someone is complaining because their family pack of tickets (4 seats, pizza, and sodas) is $70 for this game. Instead of $50.
So just in case you guys have recovered from the Ron Prince crotch-kick and started thinking you're a big name team and a power performer from a BCS conference that people respect... Just remember that some family in Denton doesn't think K-State is worth an extra $5 per person over a game against Florida Atlantic or Louisiana-Monroe. Financial scoreboard, bitches. The people have spoken.
I was looking forward to this game and hopefully hosting some of your traveling fans at our tailgate, but unfortunately we've got a basketball game double booked on the same day and time. So instead of watching the K-State/North Texas game, I'm going to be in San Marcos to watch us crockwhip Texas State basketball. I already know what a football game between us looks like; saw two in person: one in 2005 and another in 2008.
Good luck against us... Maybe if you guys are lucky and your team plays their hearts out, you'll squeak out a victory against us and finish the season 7-5.
Just like Baylor.
Sleep on that, and maybe we'll see you in the NCAA tournament again. Hopefully, not in the first round.
