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I think this bbs'ing thing would work out better for all of us, if you didn't post the South Park references any longer. Sorry, not trying to be mean....just, think it's for the best. go cats.
1 Use the toilet first. The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet use. While some people believe that using a bidet is a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, many choose to use both.2 Straddle the bidet. On most standalone bidets you can either face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them, as you would on a toilet. It is easier to control the flow and temperature of the water if you face the controls, but if you are wearing pants you will generally need to remove them in order to straddle the bidet in this manner. There are a variety of bidet designs, so the configuration of the jets and the area of your body that you wish to clean may dictate which way you need to face.3 Adjust the temperature and jet strengths for comfort. If the bidet has both hot and cold water controls, start by turning on the hot water. Once it's hot, add the cold water until you have a comfortable temperature. (In normally hot climates, such as the middle east, you should start with the cold water. The water will not need time to heat up and you may end up burning sensitive areas if you turn the hot water on first.)Be very careful when turning on the water, as many bidets can produce a very high jet of water with only a slight turn of the control.Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower. If your bidet does have a spray nozzle set in the bowl (unlikely in the UK due to regulations), place your hand above it to subdue any jet of water and then either press or pull the diverter lever between or immediately behind the taps.You may find that you need to hold the control to keep the jets on.4 Position yourself over the water jets so that the jets hit the desired area. For some bidets you can continue to hover above the bidet or you can sit down on it. Note that most bidets don't have seats, but are still meant to be sat upon; you just sit directly on the rim. Some bidets do not have jets, but instead simply have a faucet that fills the basin, as you would fill a sink basin.5 Clean anal area and/or genitals. Clean the desired area using your hands, as you would when taking a shower. If you wish to use soap, use only those that are unscented since perfumed ones are not recommended for use on the genitals. Rinse yourself well and turn off the water.6 Dry your skin. Some bidets have a built-in air dryer that you can use. For others, simply pat dry with toilet paper. Many bidets have a towel on a ring positioned next to the bidet. This is for drying the genitals or the hands but sometimes it is used for moping up any splashes around the rim after rinsing it.7 Rinse out the bidet. Once you are off the bidet, run the jets at very low pressure for a few seconds to rinse the basin and keep the bidet fresh.8 Wash your hands with soap and water, as you would any time after using the toilet.9 If you sit on the WC you can wash your feet too.
I've heard of people using moist towelettes or baby wipes after using toilet paper to freshen up a bit, to me that sounds a hell of a lot easier than using a bidet
Quote1 Use the toilet first. The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet use. While some people believe that using a bidet is a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, many choose to use both.2 Straddle the bidet. On most standalone bidets you can either face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them, as you would on a toilet. It is easier to control the flow and temperature of the water if you face the controls, but if you are wearing pants you will generally need to remove them in order to straddle the bidet in this manner. There are a variety of bidet designs, so the configuration of the jets and the area of your body that you wish to clean may dictate which way you need to face.3 Adjust the temperature and jet strengths for comfort. If the bidet has both hot and cold water controls, start by turning on the hot water. Once it's hot, add the cold water until you have a comfortable temperature. (In normally hot climates, such as the middle east, you should start with the cold water. The water will not need time to heat up and you may end up burning sensitive areas if you turn the hot water on first.)Be very careful when turning on the water, as many bidets can produce a very high jet of water with only a slight turn of the control.Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower. If your bidet does have a spray nozzle set in the bowl (unlikely in the UK due to regulations), place your hand above it to subdue any jet of water and then either press or pull the diverter lever between or immediately behind the taps.You may find that you need to hold the control to keep the jets on.4 Position yourself over the water jets so that the jets hit the desired area. For some bidets you can continue to hover above the bidet or you can sit down on it. Note that most bidets don't have seats, but are still meant to be sat upon; you just sit directly on the rim. Some bidets do not have jets, but instead simply have a faucet that fills the basin, as you would fill a sink basin.5 Clean anal area and/or genitals. Clean the desired area using your hands, as you would when taking a shower. If you wish to use soap, use only those that are unscented since perfumed ones are not recommended for use on the genitals. Rinse yourself well and turn off the water.6 Dry your skin. Some bidets have a built-in air dryer that you can use. For others, simply pat dry with toilet paper. Many bidets have a towel on a ring positioned next to the bidet. This is for drying the genitals or the hands but sometimes it is used for moping up any splashes around the rim after rinsing it.7 Rinse out the bidet. Once you are off the bidet, run the jets at very low pressure for a few seconds to rinse the basin and keep the bidet fresh.8 Wash your hands with soap and water, as you would any time after using the toilet.9 If you sit on the WC you can wash your feet too.Most of that sounds disgusting.
If you are in a romantic situation, you can just go in there and hose off your privates, and be ready for the cunnilingus and fellatio without the extra time it takes to shower. Real time saver.
Quote from: Pete on July 21, 2012, 06:50:32 PMIf you are in a romantic situation, you can just go in there and hose off your privates, and be ready for the cunnilingus and fellatio without the extra time it takes to shower. Real time saver.Good points, Pete.And lol at the people on here suggesting a towelette. If you're going to clean up your balls and ass, really get in there and clean them up properly. There's no substitute for a bidet.
Quote from: FP TC etc. on July 21, 2012, 05:54:36 AMQuote1 Use the toilet first. The purpose of the bidet is to help clean off after toilet use. While some people believe that using a bidet is a hygienic substitute for toilet paper, many choose to use both.2 Straddle the bidet. On most standalone bidets you can either face the bidet's water controls or you can face away from them, as you would on a toilet. It is easier to control the flow and temperature of the water if you face the controls, but if you are wearing pants you will generally need to remove them in order to straddle the bidet in this manner. There are a variety of bidet designs, so the configuration of the jets and the area of your body that you wish to clean may dictate which way you need to face.3 Adjust the temperature and jet strengths for comfort. If the bidet has both hot and cold water controls, start by turning on the hot water. Once it's hot, add the cold water until you have a comfortable temperature. (In normally hot climates, such as the middle east, you should start with the cold water. The water will not need time to heat up and you may end up burning sensitive areas if you turn the hot water on first.)Be very careful when turning on the water, as many bidets can produce a very high jet of water with only a slight turn of the control.Be sure that you know where the water will be coming from ahead of time, or you could end up with a surprise shower. If your bidet does have a spray nozzle set in the bowl (unlikely in the UK due to regulations), place your hand above it to subdue any jet of water and then either press or pull the diverter lever between or immediately behind the taps.You may find that you need to hold the control to keep the jets on.4 Position yourself over the water jets so that the jets hit the desired area. For some bidets you can continue to hover above the bidet or you can sit down on it. Note that most bidets don't have seats, but are still meant to be sat upon; you just sit directly on the rim. Some bidets do not have jets, but instead simply have a faucet that fills the basin, as you would fill a sink basin.5 Clean anal area and/or genitals. Clean the desired area using your hands, as you would when taking a shower. If you wish to use soap, use only those that are unscented since perfumed ones are not recommended for use on the genitals. Rinse yourself well and turn off the water.6 Dry your skin. Some bidets have a built-in air dryer that you can use. For others, simply pat dry with toilet paper. Many bidets have a towel on a ring positioned next to the bidet. This is for drying the genitals or the hands but sometimes it is used for moping up any splashes around the rim after rinsing it.7 Rinse out the bidet. Once you are off the bidet, run the jets at very low pressure for a few seconds to rinse the basin and keep the bidet fresh.8 Wash your hands with soap and water, as you would any time after using the toilet.9 If you sit on the WC you can wash your feet too.Most of that sounds disgusting.So in summary, clean your poopy ass with your bare hands and water. Splendid.
