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βItβs a big game for us β probably the biggest game of the year for us,β KU receiver Stephon Robinson said
Owner/CEO: Former D1 basketball player. Mostly just wants to glorify Jesus Christ. | |
HRP (HR Principal): Became President/COO 2.5 years after hire. Once got pretty drunk and pretty flirty at happy hour along with chum1. | |
D2 (dude#2): On chum1's team. Old software guru. My former boss's (D1) former boss and former VP of Operations. Fell out of favor. Fought like hell to avoid reporting to GG. Technically reported to GG for a little while until no one did. Apparently, sent a t-shirt that says "Professional Miracle Worker" to himself and tried to pass it off as though someone else sent it to him. | |
GG (German girl): On chum1's team. New software guru. D2 was her boss's boss until D2 fell out of favor. Then, she was D2 and chum1's boss. Then, she was no one's boss. Once underhandedly stole a childcare spot from FG. | |
chum1: Narrator. Constantly confused and surprised by literally everything. | |
FG (Finance girl): On Finance team. Buds with chum1. Sometimes seems to maybe have a thing for chum1. Pretty much entire office thought she and chum1 were probably doing it. Husband at the time got busted for trying to have sex with an underage minor he met online. | |
NG1 (New girl 1): On chum1's team. In therapy. | |
NG2 (New girl 2): On chum1's team. Annoying. | |
Cake lady: On an operations team. Likes to call chum1 'trouble' and giggle at things he says. | |
OFG (Old football guy): Was VP of Operations for a little while, then moved to Sales. No one noticed that Phil Simms liked his social media post. | |
YBG (Young basketball girl): Worked her way up to EVP, Operations. Was Owner/CEO's neighbor and babysitter as a girl. Played on a national champion DII basketball team. Impossibly nice person. Once had to go to Roy's strip club on business. | |
Roy: Owner. Old. Also owns some hotels, restaurants, bars, a strip club, and an airplane hangar. Constantly watches live surveillance camera feeds from his properties on his phone. | |
D1: Hired chum1. Left company shortly thereafter, but does exact same work as an independent contractor. Work BFFs with D2. |