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Kansas State Football / A Humble Request
« on: September 03, 2018, 03:55:32 PM »
Welcome Mississippi State fans! I am excited to share the wonderful town of Manhattan with you for a weekend. I simply ask that before you board your Wednesday night bus for a 35 hour ride to MHK (no judgment, it was the cheapest option!) you consider a few requests.
If you can’t afford a cowbell at one of your six local Dollar General stores, don’t sweat! I’m excited to witness this vaunted SEC tradition. Luckily, there are numerous well-to-do ranchers as you creep closer to Manhattan. While your bus is broken down at 3AM, feel free to find and take one! It’ll be used as a charitable donation to the needy.
I was researching your state, and came across some concerning statistics. Notably the number of children being raised in poverty. (Source: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a37082/mississippi-poverty-numbers/)
Lucky for you Kansans are always ready to help! I know several couples that went the Brangelina route and adopted several children from impoverished areas. We have the experience to help! I plan to host a food drive at the Ernie Barrett statue towards the southwest area of the stadium. (A plus, I know this will be the farthest west many of you will ever travel!)
Lastly I ask that you not be intimidated by the beauty or thriving culture that you experience in Manhattan. I’m sure that Starkville is a great town, but it’s ~20K population simply can’t produce what you will find in MHK. Please make sure to bring enough money for your return trip. We do have a law against panhandlers.
I hope you have a great time outside of the southeast! Make sure to stop by Kite’s for their Will Ferrell burger. I hear he keeps a Fall home in the hills above town.
If you can’t afford a cowbell at one of your six local Dollar General stores, don’t sweat! I’m excited to witness this vaunted SEC tradition. Luckily, there are numerous well-to-do ranchers as you creep closer to Manhattan. While your bus is broken down at 3AM, feel free to find and take one! It’ll be used as a charitable donation to the needy.
I was researching your state, and came across some concerning statistics. Notably the number of children being raised in poverty. (Source: https://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a37082/mississippi-poverty-numbers/)
Lucky for you Kansans are always ready to help! I know several couples that went the Brangelina route and adopted several children from impoverished areas. We have the experience to help! I plan to host a food drive at the Ernie Barrett statue towards the southwest area of the stadium. (A plus, I know this will be the farthest west many of you will ever travel!)
Lastly I ask that you not be intimidated by the beauty or thriving culture that you experience in Manhattan. I’m sure that Starkville is a great town, but it’s ~20K population simply can’t produce what you will find in MHK. Please make sure to bring enough money for your return trip. We do have a law against panhandlers.
I hope you have a great time outside of the southeast! Make sure to stop by Kite’s for their Will Ferrell burger. I hear he keeps a Fall home in the hills above town.
