Messages

1

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:53:02 PM »

I drink diet soda/pop at room temperature.  Does that make me the missing link?

Maybe. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your door-knocking ability?

Oooooohhh!  I lost my knuckles in 'Nam. :awkward:

I'll put you down as a solid 3 then.

How interested would you be in taking on a second wife?

Unlike my MadCat associate, I am an excellent door knocker.  Beat down doors for 5-6 years selling non-racist, delicious, Boy Scout popcorn.

That might not be racist, but it is definitely homophobic.

In that case, we may have found our missing link.

2

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:32:05 PM »

I drink diet soda/pop at room temperature.  Does that make me the missing link?

Maybe. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your door-knocking ability?

Oooooohhh!  I lost my knuckles in 'Nam. :awkward:

I'll put you down as a solid 3 then.

How interested would you be in taking on a second wife?

3

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:31:16 PM »

Just found a pic of Nikuman on the intarwebz:

OMG!  The Mormons have their own nuclear arsenal! 

What is we are all mumped?!?   

No need!  We're nothing if not littered (har!) with Birch Society brand patriotism and xenophobia.  So only communists need take the strike up the tailpipe. Also, while we have a history of military conquest rivaled only by the French (we have a thicker accent though, at least in the Mothersland), our preference runs to chemical and not nuclear warfare. In fact, we have a chemical weapons depot convenient to Salt Lake City and an Air Force base for strike options. Missouri - think of them singing the Horst Wessel song in this narrative - is in for a dose of mustard gas righteousness one of these days!

Don't forget behavioral shock therapy!

4

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:11:19 PM »

Just found a pic of Nikuman on the intarwebz:

More like this.

I hate to break it to you, but the correct answer is more like this:

5

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:09:57 PM »

While I am only a level-3 Mormon, not the level-7 one Nikuman is, I wanted to pop by and add my comments.

1) Since Nik failed to address the special underwear comment, I will do so. Steve Young said it best when his 49ers teammates asked him where they could get a pair, he let them know they were too expensive. Sage, that Steve Young.

2) Pickle Juice, not Green Jello, is actually the substance that gives us our powers.

3) The biggest difference between us-all and you-all in terms of caffiene is temperature at which we partake. You-all may like yours in terms of coffee and tea, but as Mormons, Diet Coke is our staple in preparation for the apocolypse.

4) Warren Jeffs creeps the hell out of us too.

5) Don't let Nik fool you. He still has horns.

I'm working as fast as my Mormon decoder ring will allow to decode their commie-mormon messages, but this is what I have so far...  scary stuff.   

You use decoder rings, we use decoder stones. Another difference/similarity!

6

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 04:02:30 PM »

I drink diet soda/pop at room temperature.  Does that make me the missing link?

Maybe. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your door-knocking ability?

7

Kansas State Football / Re: Welcome BYU!

« on: September 08, 2011, 03:44:41 PM »

While I am only a level-3 Mormon, not the level-7 one Nikuman is, I wanted to pop by and add my comments.

1) Since Nik failed to address the special underwear comment, I will do so. Steve Young said it best when his 49ers teammates asked him where they could get a pair, he let them know they were too expensive. Sage, that Steve Young.

2) Pickle Juice, not Green Jello, is actually the substance that gives us our powers.

3) The biggest difference between us-all and you-all in terms of caffiene is temperature at which we partake. You-all may like yours in terms of coffee and tea, but as Mormons, Diet Coke is our staple in preparation for the apocolypse.

4) Warren Jeffs creeps the hell out of us too.

5) Don't let Nik fool you. He still has horns.