Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:03:23 PM
There were two things that I THOUGHT that I knew to be fact, which I was dead wrong about, and kept me "out there" drinking a lot longer than I had to.
First, I thought that I had to hit a "bottom" like they talked about on the after school specials, where you lose absolutely everything and all your family and friends, before you could attempt to get better. Everyone's "bottom" is different. Mine was living with suicidal thoughts (obsession really) for several years (absolute living hell) with soul crushing anxiety and depression. I still had a job, had a 401K, had kids getting good grades, etc...but I was headed for a bullet to the brain.
That brings me to the Second thing I thought was a fact, which I was wrong about. That was that I believed to the core of my soul that I would never experience pleasure or have fun again if I quit drinking. Every single moment in my life where I could recall being at ease or having a sense of comfort, included alcohol, since probably puberty. Drinking seemed like the "normal" life, and not drinking seemed like something that just had to be endured. So, the idea of letting go of my medicine for life seemed like a last resort....I basically decided to give it a shot before I killed myself. I figured, "I owe it to my kids to try this before I kill myself." I'm happy to report that I no longer want to kill myself, and even better than that, I actually enjoy my life. Here's the thing though...you don't get to know HOW/WHAT/WHY of how you will come to have a meaningful and fulfilling life in recovery, but if you work a program, it will materialize. For me, and for every person in recovery I have ever spoken with (thousands of people), it was/is impossible to predict how you will feel and what your life will be like.
go cats, ftb
Post by: steve dave on November 30, 2021, 02:06:29 PM
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on November 30, 2021, 02:34:18 PM
Great stuff PeteYup, STUD!
Post by: michigancat on November 30, 2021, 02:34:23 PM
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:43:40 PM
Post by: AST on November 30, 2021, 02:44:21 PM
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:45:30 PM
Very good stuff Pete. Thank you for sharing and stay strong.
Thanks man, and tell your brother "hi" for me!
Post by: IPA4Me on November 30, 2021, 02:47:23 PM
I'm not going to share my story here. That's for the AA rooms. However, I am open about being a recovering alcoholic. I've been sober for eighteen months. I'd had the desire to reduce/stop drinking for a while but just couldn't do it.
For me, putting down the bottle was only a small part of recovery. I've had amazing life changes over the last 1.5 years and look forward to even more changes. Most of us in the program discovered that we were masking/escaping our real life issues when we drank. I firmly believe that most of the world would benefit greatly from a twelve step program.
If you're not sure if you're an alcoholic, you can take this little quiz:
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer
If you want to chat in private, you're welcome to message me. If you follow me on Twitter, my DM are always open.
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:49:10 PM
Awesome! Do you mind if I merge this with the other thread?
Post by: IPA4Me on November 30, 2021, 02:50:04 PM
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:50:41 PM
Certainly. Didn't know there was another sobriety thread.
It's like 45 minutes old! ;) :lol:
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 02:52:11 PM
If you want to chat in private, you're welcome to message me. If you follow me on Twitter, my DM are always open.
Same here. Happy to discuss with anyone privately at anytime.
Post by: ChiComCat on November 30, 2021, 02:56:26 PM
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:01:07 PM
I'd had the desire to reduce/stop drinking for a while but just couldn't do it.
I think this is a great point, and was the same for me. I'd quit for a period of time and be like "welp, I proved that I don't have a problem!" Then bam, right back to it as hard or harder than I was before I paused. I know there are moderation programs out there, but for me, and people like me, I just cannot imagine how they could possibly work over the long haul. And frankly, I think they would have made me feel worse! For me, the only thing more miserable than not drinking, used to be trying to moderate my drinking. Ugh, that was awful.
I once heard an old drunk say "Go drink just two legal sized drinks every night (e.g. an 8 oz wine, or a 1 oz spirit) and see how long you can do that without drinking more." His point was that people who do not have a problem, have no problem doing that.
Post by: AST on November 30, 2021, 03:06:52 PM
Very good stuff Pete. Thank you for sharing and stay strong.
Thanks man, and tell your brother "hi" for me!
I will do. Slight chance he sees this. He is known to drop a GE reference on me on occasion that he could only get from lurking.
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:08:43 PM
Being part of a "program" and really immersing yourself in it helps with that. There are a bajillion of these cliches and sayings and they are all true, but one that applies here is "first things first." Successful recovery means that you put your sobriety ahead of everything else. I always like to listen to clergy members in recovery. Those dudes are awesome. They'll talk about needing to put their sobriety before even God. Before I entered recovery, I had no idea what that meant. Like, a dude who hurt his family really, really bad was telling me that he put his sobriety before his family and I was like "eff, that guy is still not putting his family first????" But, I didn't get it. He has nothing unless he puts his recovery first, and in turn, his family will benefit enormously if he does.
Post by: IPA4Me on November 30, 2021, 03:11:50 PM
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:14:19 PM
Going to the beach without a beer was rough ridin' weird.
True story. I went to the beach at about 3 months sober with my family, and I took at least 12 different diet soda 12 packs with me. Every flavor you could imagine. :lol:
Now, I don't even contemplate consuming fluids unless I am thirsty. It's not a "thing" anymore, but it was a HUGE deal for a really long time for me.
Post by: michigancat on November 30, 2021, 03:16:47 PM
Big congrats to IPA4Me. The first year is a tough one, because everything is new and a "first time" in a long time. Like the first time you celebrate the 4th of July sober, the first time celebrate Thanksgiving sober, the first time you watch your favorite TV show sober, first tailgate sober, first time eating nachos on a Tuesday wearing a white shirt sober, etc.
Being part of a "program" and really immersing yourself in it helps with that. There are a bajillion of these cliches and sayings and they are all true, but one that applies here is "first things first." Successful recovery means that you put your sobriety ahead of everything else. I always like to listen to clergy members in recovery. Those dudes are awesome. They'll talk about needing to put their sobriety before even God. Before I entered recovery, I had no idea what that meant. Like, a dude who hurt his family really, really bad was telling me that he put his sobriety before his family and I was like "eff, that guy is still not putting his family first????" But, I didn't get it. He has nothing unless he puts his recovery first, and in turn, his family will benefit enormously if he does.
question for both you and IPA:
Are situations like tailgates, Thanksgiving, concerts, etc. tempting in any way, or somehow harder? Or like needing liquid, is it something you're mostly over?
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:19:16 PM
I stopped doing lots of crap that I never really liked, but used to do just because there was booze. Like, I hate softball. I rough ridin' hate it. However, I used to play it all the time, but never sober. What a relief to stop playing that stupid game.
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:23:22 PM
Most of us want to take a good time and make it even better, or take a bad time and make it be not so bad. It's both ends of the spectrum. We need to be comfortable being a 5.5 on a scale of 1 to 10. That takes time and work....the "work" of working a program for days and days and days.
Post by: michigancat on November 30, 2021, 03:26:29 PM
Post by: IPA4Me on November 30, 2021, 03:33:36 PM
I was anxious October 2020 when I went to the beach. I'd always had a cooler of beer at the beach since 1993. Always. Once I was there a couple of days, it was no big deal. Now, I go to meetings in the morning when I'm there. Found a nice meeting spot in Clearwater. Then grab breakfast with the family.
Dinner, horse track, coworker gatherings... no big deal. Everybody knows that I quit drinking. Everybody is cool about it.
I love waking up in the morning on a trip with others bright and cherry while they're bemoaning their hangovers. :)
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:37:43 PM
another question: How did it impact your work/career? I've worked at companies that "partying" be way to core to the culture (which I didn't like) and I know sales can be pretty booze-heavy too.
I was REALLY worried about this. The short answer is that everything at work got better, I got promotions I never thought I’d get and it’s been great!
However, I had it in my head that you had to be able booze it up with people to get to know them, or to “schmooze and sell,” etc. That isn’t the case at all. And this was a not just me. I know MANY successful sales people and professionals who are in recovery who all say the same thing…recovery is our super power. Accepting life on life’s terms and admitting when we are at fault and quickly making amends are great tools for business. Also, not being hung over is a huge benefit! :lol: Without even trying my productivity exploded, and I was so much more effective.
I get to work social events a little late, and leave early. I am there to make my colleagues a d customers feel welcome and comfortable, it’s not about me. Once I have done that, I get the hell out.
Post by: BIG APPLE CAT on November 30, 2021, 03:38:55 PM
Post by: michigancat on November 30, 2021, 03:39:58 PM
Once I committed to not drinking, doing things I liked wasn't an issue. I enjoyed them more once I got over the weirdness of not having a drink at that particular activity.
I was anxious October 2020 when I went to the beach. I'd always had a cooler of beer at the beach since 1993. Always. Once I was there a couple of days, it was no big deal. Now, I go to meetings in the morning when I'm there. Found a nice meeting spot in Clearwater. Then grab breakfast with the family.
Dinner, horse track, coworker gatherings... no big deal. Everybody knows that I quit drinking. Everybody is cool about it.
I love waking up in the morning on a trip with others bright and cherry while they're bemoaning their hangovers. :)
nice
another question: How did it impact your work/career? I've worked at companies that "partying" be way to core to the culture (which I didn't like) and I know sales can be pretty booze-heavy too.
I was REALLY worried about this. The short answer is that everything at work got better, I got promotions I never thought I’d get and it’s been great!
However, I had it in my head that you had to be able booze it up with people to get to know them, or to “schmooze and sell,” etc. That isn’t the case at all. And this was a not just me. I know MANY successful sales people a d professionals who are in recovery who all say the same thing…recovery is our super power. Accepting life on life’s terms and admiring when we are at fault and quickly making amends are great tools for business. Also, not being hung over is a huge benefit! :lol: Without even trying my productivity exploded, and I was so much more effective.
I get to work social events a little late, and leave early. I am there to make my colleagues a d customers feel welcome and comfortable, it’s not about me. Once I have done that, I get the hell out.
love it
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:41:54 PM
i've heard people say quitting one addiction (like alcohol) just leads to a different addiction. I think typically in the form of cigarettes although that might just be a cliche on TV. Did either of you find yourself becoming addicted or hyperfixated on some other "vice"?It’s always a risk, but the point of the caution is that we must learn to live and grow without a crutch. I needed to learn to get past uncomfortable times and grow. I didn’t do that for many, many years. My muscles weren’t built up the way they needed to be.
Now, I do drink too much coffee and I tend to eat too many sweets, etc. But, so do lots of people. LOL
Post by: Pete on November 30, 2021, 03:47:09 PM
Alcohol probably started that way…as just another neat thing I got into. However, over 20 years it got worse and worse. I was probably predisposed at birth, but an alcoholic at 20 or 21. I quit when I was 40. It was fun for a long, long time. Then, it was fun with problems, and then it was mostly just problems and the good times were far and few between and it was just a way to get through life, no more joy left in it.
Post by: IPA4Me on November 30, 2021, 03:49:32 PM
My fiance thought was was cross addicting to fitness I was riding my bike so much. Um. No, I just feel better and love to ride.i've heard people say quitting one addiction (like alcohol) just leads to a different addiction. I think typically in the form of cigarettes although that might just be a cliche on TV. Did either of you find yourself becoming addicted or hyperfixated on some other "vice"?It’s always a risk, but the point of the caution is that we must learn to live and grow without a crutch. I needed to learn to get past uncomfortable times and grow. I didn’t do that for many, many years. My muscles weren’t built up the way they needed to be.
Now, I do drink too much coffee and I tend to eat too many sweets, etc. But, so do lots of people. LOL
My sponsor and I talk about endorphins a lot. You don't have to chase them with an addiction. You can do something kind. Give your old friend a call. Clean a toilet. Go for a walk in the park. There are so many things out there that make your brain feel better that aren't drinking.
Post by: BIG APPLE CAT on November 30, 2021, 03:56:45 PM
Post by: michigancat on November 30, 2021, 03:59:38 PM
Post by: tdaver on November 30, 2021, 10:35:33 PM
Post by: Dugout DickStone on December 01, 2021, 08:16:59 AM
On the career thing, I can say my industry is very booze heavy but not so much so as it used to be. The guys who brought me up used to go hard, but not anymore. Without knowing everything, I think many of them have had their battles so they are not into the judging game. Now, you may miss on a few clients who like to really get after it at a Chiefs game or out at Pebble Beach but 99% of clients prefer paying a guy who is sharp and on his game at 8:30 am versus one who closed it down until 3.
As far as interoffice, it is perfectly acceptable to show up after work, plunk down the firm card, have your 2 "legal drinks", buy one last round and dip. The vast majority of my interoffice drinking was with the old guard when I came up. Not anymore. Let the youngest go hard on their own dime. No one disrespects.
Again, congrats on your journey all of you cats.
Post by: I_have_purplewood on December 01, 2021, 09:59:19 AM
Post by: 'taterblast on December 01, 2021, 10:24:18 AM
Post by: DQ12 on December 01, 2021, 10:45:29 AM
happy for those cats who recognized that something was a problem and then did the extremely hard job of fixing it.
Post by: Dugout DickStone on December 01, 2021, 10:56:12 AM
i feel very lucky that booze hasn't ever really been an addiction problem for me. anymore i just prefer a dr. pepper, even though i'm constantly catching crap for it.
happy for those cats who recognized that something was a problem and then did the extremely hard job of fixing it.
Don't you at least have a diet DDP?
Post by: DQ12 on December 01, 2021, 10:59:55 AM
DDPs are for home. When I go out and am feeling fancy, i go for the real deal baby.i feel very lucky that booze hasn't ever really been an addiction problem for me. anymore i just prefer a dr. pepper, even though i'm constantly catching crap for it.
happy for those cats who recognized that something was a problem and then did the extremely hard job of fixing it.
Don't you at least have a diet DDP?
Post by: IPA4Me on December 01, 2021, 12:06:49 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on December 01, 2021, 12:23:39 PM
Thank you for sharing your stories and glad to hear things are great! I know I've had ups and downs with booze and would love to taper more. I think if I actually wrote down how much I spend on booze monthly it would make me want to quit more.
Yes, very happy to hear of Pete and IPA's positives from their decisions and that is really, really awesome for them, and definitely a place to get to.
I know for me I am in a decline of usage for a bit, I know probably the whole adage "if you think you might have a problem you do" but realistically at least for me I have found a lot, and I mean a lot of my drinking is driven by basically boredom or stress. I have found as long as I realize that I can (usually) stop the urge, and really it's more my body wants something to "do" and even like a pop or something sweet is just as effective as anything else. It's like when I'm at work, I often go through an entire pack of gum if I have it, chew the piece til it loses it's flavor than start again, it's just a tick that tends to work itself out.
I know for me drinking did not start til literally prom night my senior year of HS, and even still throughout most of college I probably drank (though pretty hard when I did) maybe once a week or every other week, it was a pretty small part of my college experience to be honest, sure plenty of fun parties, but really, it was to weekends, and never on back to back days, and often weeks in between. The pick up in it really took off once I got my house and more or less have lived by myself for the last 5 years, and having a few drinks, not nightly, but more often than once a week, because the way to reward myself for getting chores done, or because I didn't have anything better to do, and I felt safe in doing it at home because well, hey, at least I'm not driving right? Obviously the pandemic just made that even more convenient.
That being said, I am starting some therapy soon anyways, not so much for the drinking but because no matter what I have felt fairly miserable and overburdened, and have been for years (I think the first time any medical professional said I was depressed was senior year of college, a decade ago now) I just need to find better ways at being able to manage that, if that means cutting back more on the hot stuff than so be it, but I think finding better ways of coping will help me out with that too. It really has more felt like I have been running from my problems for too long and haven't taken care of myself at all.
I haven't had a drink in about 10 days right now (I know short) and feel great, but also I slept approximately 50 hours over the 4 days off for Thanksgiving, and didn't touch work once, so that also helped a crap ton too.
Post by: michigancat on December 01, 2021, 12:25:34 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on December 01, 2021, 12:49:44 PM
good for you on the therapy cfb
thanks man, it's been too long coming, and while I'm trying to temper my expectations, and I know it's going to be work, but just actually having something set up has made me the most hopeful for anything in years.
Post by: IPA4Me on December 01, 2021, 02:01:28 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on December 01, 2021, 04:13:06 PM
I just think, at least now for me, my issues stem not from booze, as there are other bad habits (and some not as bad, just poor self management/coping) that I just, right now, don't think AA would work (for me).
Booze has been something to cope for sure, and I don't want it to be that, but the root of the problem IMO stems elsewhere. To pull the curtain back and alluded to in my previous post is a lot of pent up issues with work. It's obviously in terms of scale no where close but if you happen to have watched Chernobyl I went through a catastrophic failure (also during at test!, Though obviously and admittedly much smaller, less dangerous, and not as serious of an event) at a site that basically consumed 9 months of my life, and was predated with a further 5 months before that of issues that while didn't directly cause the problem, were very emblematic of the cause of the problem, namely incompetency, lack of understanding, and egos. Chernobyl actually came out during the 9 month rebuild and it struck me (and still does recently rewatching it more recently) just how similar dealing with a crisis it was.
Once again, not as terrible or terrifying, but still traumatic. I was put in a position not unlike the operators, and/or the scientists in that crisis, and it just was beyond stressful and made even worse knowing that the cause of the problem had alarm bells sounded by myself and others trying to make things not be that way, and then it happened. Everyone knew something was going to happen, then it did. It was disheartening, unfair, and frustrating. Make even worse that the main person that was the cause of the problem was allowed to leave, and me and others had to stay and clean up the mess.
Book end that with barely 6 months after returning home from that ordeal you get thrown through the chaos and panic of the pandemic, the reduction workforce and having to cover for all of that, I never really got time to process what I went through, and now I am working on the next plant that is very similar to the one I was out, very much in an attempt to prevent that from happening again, to prove to myself we can learn from our mistakes, but that pressure is building, and that anxiety is ever present.
You may ask, why stay here, why keep suffering in this job? Why keep working? The fact is for me, it would be worse to tuck tail and run, instead of actually doing what is right. It would be far worse at this point to avoid get away from it, than to face it. I want to prove to myself we (and I) can do this right, and not have idiots trash good work. I'll regret it for the rest of my life. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm foolish, but that's where I am hoping to get out of therapy, determining that, and also in general, learning to better deal with stress.
Post by: IPA4Me on December 01, 2021, 04:21:36 PM
We all have to work our own program.
Sent from my moto g power using Tapatalk
Post by: cfbandyman on December 01, 2021, 04:23:18 PM
Post by: Institutional Control on December 01, 2021, 05:35:31 PM
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Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 01, 2021, 08:04:41 PM
This is spot on for me. I might drink 3 nights a week. I just need to get offline when I do it, because I get more irritable with people who make me irritable on social media and here, but am super social and nice IRL. I hate that all of my good friends have moved away (so I’m bored a lot. Especially working from home full-time) and many of my off nights are my time, when the kid is in bed and the wife doesn’t want to watch sports. So I pour a Svedka, watch sports, and talk about it online. Yeah, I’ve expressed my own mental health on this blog before, but overall, my life is in the best place it’s ever been (due to taking steps with medicine and counseling every now and then). I’ll calm down my crap posting, but overall, I’m a very happy, positive person, who likes to PAK when my teams play. Sorry, I thought I had to explain this for Mich, since he’s expressed many times I have a problem and I’m sure it comes off that way. Either way, I’m proud of everyone on here taking steps and for those people supporting them as well. Go cats!Thank you for sharing your stories and glad to hear things are great! I know I've had ups and downs with booze and would love to taper more. I think if I actually wrote down how much I spend on booze monthly it would make me want to quit more.
Yes, very happy to hear of Pete and IPA's positives from their decisions and that is really, really awesome for them, and definitely a place to get to.
I know for me I am in a decline of usage for a bit, I know probably the whole adage "if you think you might have a problem you do" but realistically at least for me I have found a lot, and I mean a lot of my drinking is driven by basically boredom or stress. I have found as long as I realize that I can (usually) stop the urge, and really it's more my body wants something to "do" and even like a pop or something sweet is just as effective as anything else. It's like when I'm at work, I often go through an entire pack of gum if I have it, chew the piece til it loses it's flavor than start again, it's just a tick that tends to work itself out.
I know for me drinking did not start til literally prom night my senior year of HS, and even still throughout most of college I probably drank (though pretty hard when I did) maybe once a week or every other week, it was a pretty small part of my college experience to be honest, sure plenty of fun parties, but really, it was to weekends, and never on back to back days, and often weeks in between. The pick up in it really took off once I got my house and more or less have lived by myself for the last 5 years, and having a few drinks, not nightly, but more often than once a week, because the way to reward myself for getting chores done, or because I didn't have anything better to do, and I felt safe in doing it at home because well, hey, at least I'm not driving right? Obviously the pandemic just made that even more convenient.
That being said, I am starting some therapy soon anyways, not so much for the drinking but because no matter what I have felt fairly miserable and overburdened, and have been for years (I think the first time any medical professional said I was depressed was senior year of college, a decade ago now) I just need to find better ways at being able to manage that, if that means cutting back more on the hot stuff than so be it, but I think finding better ways of coping will help me out with that too. It really has more felt like I have been running from my problems for too long and haven't taken care of myself at all.
I haven't had a drink in about 10 days right now (I know short) and feel great, but also I slept approximately 50 hours over the 4 days off for Thanksgiving, and didn't touch work once, so that also helped a crap ton too.
PS- I should have taken Clams advice early on and never visited the pit in the offseason years ago.
Post by: IPA4Me on December 01, 2021, 08:41:53 PM
A couple of months ago my buddy’s wife left him and took the kids 1200 miles away because of his drinking. He recently stayed the weekend with me and would begin drinking vodka as soon as he woke up. My first inclination was to mock him and that had no effect, obviously. The next day I tired discussing what I could do to help to get his life in order and he insisted he had it under control. Is there anything I can do to help if he doesn’t want it?Unfortunately, not much until he is ready. Step 1 is admitting you have a problem. If he doesn't think he has one, then all you can do is encourage him. If he thinks he might be but is unsure, here's a little quiz.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer
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Post by: Pete on December 01, 2021, 08:53:59 PM
A couple of months ago my buddy’s wife left him and took the kids 1200 miles away because of his drinking. He recently stayed the weekend with me and would begin drinking vodka as soon as he woke up. My first inclination was to mock him and that had no effect, obviously. The next day I tired discussing what I could do to help to get his life in order and he insisted he had it under control. Is there anything I can do to help if he doesn’t want it?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
This is the oldest problem there is, related to any kind of addiction, and heck, with any kind of mental health. In my experience, the most effective way to help them is to let them know that there are options available for help.
I can vividly remember times when different people tried to communicate to me that I had a problem over the years...those moments made a difference. It didn't affect change in me immediately, but it did plant a seed, and over time that grew.
Post by: Pete on December 01, 2021, 09:05:57 PM
Rehab, for someone who doesn't want to be in rehab, is the same way. It's a very, very expensive intervention that has no more chance of working than a surprise group visit, if the person doesn't want to get sober, in my opinion. However, it does do a nice job of separating a person from their vice for a short amount of time. So, if you have someone who is at risk of OD'ing or something, then rehab can be a handy way of keeping them alive for 30 days longer.
If someone really wanted to do something drastic in their recovery to jump start it, in my experience an Oxford House is more effective than rehab (and it's free).
However, my experience and observation has led me to believe that all you really need to do is immerse yourself in a 12-step program and go to at least one meeting a day for 90 days (and still VERY frequently thereafter), get a sponsor and work ALL the steps with them, and calling your sponsor every day.
I used to wonder "how many meetings do you need to go to a week for the rest of your life?!?!" The answer changes for everyone. I've had periods of time where I felt the need to go every day, in periods of higher stress etc. I've also had days where I had to hit multiple meetings in a single day. In Covid, I stayed sober not going to a single in-person meeting for 1 year, but I was already 5+ years sober at that point....and it was still a very risky thing for me to do. These days, I usually go to 2 or 3 a week, and lead one a week. Sometimes more, sometimes less. They always, ALWAYS, make me feel better about life.
Post by: IPA4Me on December 02, 2021, 10:49:49 AM
Post by: ChiComCat on December 02, 2021, 10:55:06 AM
I hate that all of my good friends have moved away (so I’m bored a lot. Especially working from home full-time) and many of my off nights are my time, when the kid is in bed and the wife doesn’t want to watch sports.
Probably off-topic but I learned that while working from home, I needed to be more intentional about my friendships. It's a little out of my comfort zone, but I've reached out to people more and tried to set up coffee/drinks/dinner with some acquaintances that I haven't traditionally hung out with before. It just doesn't happen naturally as much anymore between working from home and being the age where people have kids.
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 02, 2021, 11:54:41 AM
Post by: steve dave on December 02, 2021, 05:06:51 PM
100%. I’ve really befriended my wife’s guy friends lately. We try and make plans at least once a month.:fatty:
Post by: steve dave on December 02, 2021, 05:08:02 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on December 02, 2021, 05:41:17 PM
This is spot on for me. I might drink 3 nights a week. I just need to get offline when I do it, because I get more irritable with people who make me irritable on social media and here, but am super social and nice IRL. I hate that all of my good friends have moved away (so I’m bored a lot. Especially working from home full-time) and many of my off nights are my time, when the kid is in bed and the wife doesn’t want to watch sports. So I pour a Svedka, watch sports, and talk about it online. Yeah, I’ve expressed my own mental health on this blog before, but overall, my life is in the best place it’s ever been (due to taking steps with medicine and counseling every now and then). I’ll calm down my crap posting, but overall, I’m a very happy, positive person, who likes to PAK when my teams play. Sorry, I thought I had to explain this for Mich, since he’s expressed many times I have a problem and I’m sure it comes off that way. Either way, I’m proud of everyone on here taking steps and for those people supporting them as well. Go cats!Thank you for sharing your stories and glad to hear things are great! I know I've had ups and downs with booze and would love to taper more. I think if I actually wrote down how much I spend on booze monthly it would make me want to quit more.
Yes, very happy to hear of Pete and IPA's positives from their decisions and that is really, really awesome for them, and definitely a place to get to.
I know for me I am in a decline of usage for a bit, I know probably the whole adage "if you think you might have a problem you do" but realistically at least for me I have found a lot, and I mean a lot of my drinking is driven by basically boredom or stress. I have found as long as I realize that I can (usually) stop the urge, and really it's more my body wants something to "do" and even like a pop or something sweet is just as effective as anything else. It's like when I'm at work, I often go through an entire pack of gum if I have it, chew the piece til it loses it's flavor than start again, it's just a tick that tends to work itself out.
I know for me drinking did not start til literally prom night my senior year of HS, and even still throughout most of college I probably drank (though pretty hard when I did) maybe once a week or every other week, it was a pretty small part of my college experience to be honest, sure plenty of fun parties, but really, it was to weekends, and never on back to back days, and often weeks in between. The pick up in it really took off once I got my house and more or less have lived by myself for the last 5 years, and having a few drinks, not nightly, but more often than once a week, because the way to reward myself for getting chores done, or because I didn't have anything better to do, and I felt safe in doing it at home because well, hey, at least I'm not driving right? Obviously the pandemic just made that even more convenient.
That being said, I am starting some therapy soon anyways, not so much for the drinking but because no matter what I have felt fairly miserable and overburdened, and have been for years (I think the first time any medical professional said I was depressed was senior year of college, a decade ago now) I just need to find better ways at being able to manage that, if that means cutting back more on the hot stuff than so be it, but I think finding better ways of coping will help me out with that too. It really has more felt like I have been running from my problems for too long and haven't taken care of myself at all.
I haven't had a drink in about 10 days right now (I know short) and feel great, but also I slept approximately 50 hours over the 4 days off for Thanksgiving, and didn't touch work once, so that also helped a crap ton too.
PS- I should have taken Clams advice early on and never visited the pit in the offseason years ago.
The word, but I found (for me) the best has been my friends basically abandoning twitter and subsequently me has helped out the most there. Only looking at twitter very occasionally and for really only cats or truly news related things has been the best thing. It's such a miserable place regardless of your politics. My friends just got so tired of how awful and negative and disparaging things were on twitter, and while they still have accounts just deleted the app, and they have been so much happier for it, and gotta say following that lead and basically cutting it out does wonders.
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 02, 2021, 06:05:56 PM
JK friend!:D :ROFL:
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 02, 2021, 06:15:18 PM
Post by: star seed 7 on December 02, 2021, 07:17:38 PM
Post by: steve dave on December 02, 2021, 07:23:04 PM
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 02, 2021, 07:36:19 PM
Anyways, not trying to take over this thread. Just wanted to shed light on the mental health part of this thread. I definitely could and will do better about my overall presence of being a degenerate when I have time off and talk with friends on the internet.
Post by: Institutional Control on December 03, 2021, 10:40:36 AM
Post by: IPA4Me on December 04, 2021, 11:29:39 PM
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Post by: Cire on December 05, 2021, 09:02:02 AM
I smoked in college and for about 5 years after. Probably 10 years total.
I used the gum. Took about 4 months from last cig to no more gum
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Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 05, 2021, 09:05:02 AM
Post by: Cire on December 05, 2021, 09:06:02 AM
Keep in mind Therapists are like anything else. There’s good ones and bad ones. If you aren’t feeling it with one shop around.
Same with anti anxiety/depression meds
I took lexapro for about 9 years and it helped A TON but I had a breakdown in July/august
Talked to a psychiatrist and she switched me to cymbalta it’s been even better/more effective for me.
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Post by: Pete on December 05, 2021, 11:10:45 AM
I am a big proponent of medical help, but for me that wasn’t nearly enough.
If I had to choose meds or program/regular frequent meetings, I’d choose the later, no question about it. I’ve tried it both ways.
Meetings and working the steps work.
Post by: OB_Won on December 05, 2021, 04:15:33 PM
Quitting tobacco has proven to be far harder than alcohol. I'd cut a mf'er right now for a pinch of Grizzly.I smoked and dipped for about a decade, starting in college. I quit both cold turkey with lots of sugar free gum and sugar free candies. The first couple weeks were brutal, but after 3 or 4 it got much better. Then, it eventually got to the point that I missed the idea more than the act. Now, I don't even think about it anymore.
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Post by: 8manpick on December 05, 2021, 05:04:04 PM
Post by: Spracne on December 05, 2021, 05:15:13 PM
Post by: Pete on December 05, 2021, 05:40:48 PM
My brother-in-law is a week in to an in-patient rehab program for alcohol. He did so after his wife (Mrs. 8mp’s sister) served him w/ divorce papers. They have a 1 year old daughter. Sad stuff, hopefully it works out for him. I like him when he isn’t being a shitty drunk.Ugh.
One (of the many) things that motivated me was the fear of “what would I do if my kids needed me, and I was too drunk to drive to go help them out.” Maybe this helps him turn into a good dad before his kid is old enough to know the difference.
Post by: cfbandyman on December 05, 2021, 06:04:16 PM
Quitting tobacco has proven to be far harder than alcohol. I'd cut a mf'er right now for a pinch of Grizzly.
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I got some friends who smoke and they go through bouts of quitting and then going back to it. It definitely looks much harder than drinking would be.
I am glad I never had any smoking desires, tobacco or otherwise. Tried weed, tried tobacco, both just never did it for me and I am very, very glad of that.
Post by: star seed 7 on December 06, 2021, 02:30:32 PM
Post by: 8manpick on December 06, 2021, 02:41:36 PM
I was broke at the time and it was something like $250 a month without insurance so I stopped after 4 months or so. I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
God this sucks
Post by: star seed 7 on December 06, 2021, 02:43:26 PM
Post by: michigancat on December 06, 2021, 02:51:31 PM
To continue the meds discussion, how does one go about getting back on an anti-depressant prescription? I don't have a regular doctor or anything. In the past I've had family friends available to write the script, but that's not an option now. The last time I went through Lafene when I was in school 7 years ago or so. This particular med was the first of probably 6 prior that I felt did anything beyond noticeable side effects. I was broke at the time and it was something like $250 a month without insurance so I stopped after 4 months or so. I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
I would suggest scheduling a regular health checkup with a general practitioner and mentioning all of this in detail. They may write you a prescription or refer you to a psychiatrist.
Psychotherapy may also be an option but I've found it's really difficult to find in-network therapists these days. May be different in KC.
My wife had really good luck with betterhelp.com doing virtual therapy. Out of network but relatively cheap and she likes it more than in-person therapists she's met with.
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on December 06, 2021, 02:57:05 PM
Post by: DaBigTrain on December 06, 2021, 03:04:24 PM
Post by: Pete on December 07, 2021, 07:25:24 AM
I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
I'd just pick a general practitioner at random from those that are covered by your program and call them and ask them if they are taking new patients, and setup the appointment. If they ask the reason, I'd be honest and say anxiety/depression. Then, I'd do exactly as MichiganCat mentioned and tell them the story....Wish I was on meds this whole time, but didn't have insurance. They hear that ALL the time, and they'll be very helpful. Just understand that it may take some time and experimentation to get the right meds for you...and that the side effects for most people do get better with time (don't be like me when I was younger and just quit them at the first sign of a side effect).
Post by: Pete on December 07, 2021, 07:28:14 AM
Post by: Institutional Control on January 31, 2022, 01:21:56 PM
Post by: Pete on January 31, 2022, 03:03:34 PM
Does anyone have experience with Transcendental Meditation? I'm considering looking into it as a way to de-stress and gain focus. Does anyone have any thoughts about TM?I’d sign up for a class, like down at Unity on the plaza or buy and app. Calm has some good guided meditation content.
Lots of people get a lot out of it.
Post by: passranch on January 31, 2022, 04:59:28 PM
Post by: Institutional Control on January 31, 2022, 08:58:22 PM
Thanks, Pete. I’m going to give the Calm app a try.Does anyone have experience with Transcendental Meditation? I'm considering looking into it as a way to de-stress and gain focus. Does anyone have any thoughts about TM?I’d sign up for a class, like down at Unity on the plaza or buy and app. Calm has some good guided meditation content.
Lots of people get a lot out of it.
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Post by: 'taterblast on March 10, 2022, 11:00:22 AM
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on March 10, 2022, 11:37:33 AM
i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.Love ya, brother. Hang in there! Let me know if you ever wanna chat.
Post by: stunted on March 10, 2022, 12:43:16 PM
Post by: ChiComCat on March 10, 2022, 12:55:14 PM
i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
I think there are some pretty qualified and willing individuals on here if you need to talk. It seems like a great place to put it out there. Good luck on your journey.
Post by: nicname on March 10, 2022, 01:03:45 PM
i'm seeing ketamine therapy pop up more and more in random places as treatment for depression. have a friend who struggled with depression and it has helped him a ton, he's become someone with a lot of passion for life. could be a great option, although there could be an addiction risk if you got a history for it.
Small dose kratom works well too, but also carries addiction risk.
Post by: IPA4Me on March 10, 2022, 01:17:03 PM
i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.That first step was a tough one. I know. It was almost two years ago that I made the best decision of my life.
https://www.aa.org/the-big-book (https://www.aa.org/the-big-book) <- you can download a section at a time for reading as PDF.
My private messages are open to chat. I can help get you connected to a group in your area.
Post by: Pete on March 10, 2022, 01:56:04 PM
i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
You sound like me before I quit. Alcoholism gets worse, never better…and it always gets worse. There are many recovery methods, but I chose AA. Stanford just completed the largest study to date on that question and found that AA was the most effective ( https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html ). To each his own, though. I just passed 7 years this week.
Before I entered AA, I looked for a lot of physical solutions for a spiritual problem. I was bankrupt emotionally and spiritually, and was on a dangerous path physically. “Maybe if I took Xanax?” “Maybe if I worked out more?” “Maybe if I changed my job?” “Maybe if I changed my domestic situation?” None of that rough ridin' crap was the cause. I was the problem, and wherever I went I was there.
For MILLIONS of people the answer to a happy and content life in recovery from alcoholism has been to work the program of AA. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps (hard), and don’t drink. If you are honest and willing, you will find that contentment.
One warning though, I’ve never seen anyone get the desired effect with anything less than total commitment.
Post by: nicname on March 10, 2022, 02:08:40 PM
Post by: XocolateThundarr on March 10, 2022, 02:18:41 PM
Post by: Pete on March 10, 2022, 02:34:27 PM
Yes, AA is very holistic. It’s why their 12-step approach works with actual addictions, and non-addictions alike. For a lot of people, the addiction itself is a mere symptom of an underlying mental health problem. That’s no always the case tho.I’ve never known anyone who was an alcoholic who only had a trouble with drinking and there was no underlying issues (e.g. fears, resentments, etc. the list goes on). I have only ever known alcoholics for whom drinking was but a symptom of their problems. I can’t say that’s impossible to only have a problem with drinking, but I have never encountered it before. It would definitely be a first for me.
Post by: Fedor on March 10, 2022, 04:13:25 PM
What did you do to get fulfillment spiritually? My brother in law literally drank himself to death about a year ago. Early 40's and he just destroyed his liver with alcohol. It took years of heavy drinking and a very long, steady and noticeable decline but he just would not quit. He would not take responsibility for anything in his life, nothing was ever his fault. Very frustrating and difficult to watch. He had a lot of underlying issues, but if nothing is your fault you never have to change...i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
You sound like me before I quit. Alcoholism gets worse, never better…and it always gets worse. There are many recovery methods, but I chose AA. Stanford just completed the largest study to date on that question and found that AA was the most effective ( https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html ). To each his own, though. I just passed 7 years this week.
Before I entered AA, I looked for a lot of physical solutions for a spiritual problem. I was bankrupt emotionally and spiritually, and was on a dangerous path physically. “Maybe if I took Xanax?” “Maybe if I worked out more?” “Maybe if I changed my job?” “Maybe if I changed my domestic situation?” None of that rough ridin' crap was the cause. I was the problem, and wherever I went I was there.
For MILLIONS of people the answer to a happy and content life in recovery from alcoholism has been to work the program of AA. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps (hard), and don’t drink. If you are honest and willing, you will find that contentment.
One warning though, I’ve never seen anyone get the desired effect with anything less than total commitment.
Post by: cfbandyman on March 10, 2022, 04:30:18 PM
What did you do to get fulfillment spiritually? My brother in law literally drank himself to death about a year ago. Early 40's and he just destroyed his liver with alcohol. It took years of heavy drinking and a very long, steady and noticeable decline but he just would not quit. He would not take responsibility for anything in his life, nothing was ever his fault. Very frustrating and difficult to watch. He had a lot of underlying issues, but if nothing is your fault you never have to change...i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
You sound like me before I quit. Alcoholism gets worse, never better…and it always gets worse. There are many recovery methods, but I chose AA. Stanford just completed the largest study to date on that question and found that AA was the most effective ( https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html ). To each his own, though. I just passed 7 years this week.
Before I entered AA, I looked for a lot of physical solutions for a spiritual problem. I was bankrupt emotionally and spiritually, and was on a dangerous path physically. “Maybe if I took Xanax?” “Maybe if I worked out more?” “Maybe if I changed my job?” “Maybe if I changed my domestic situation?” None of that rough ridin' crap was the cause. I was the problem, and wherever I went I was there.
For MILLIONS of people the answer to a happy and content life in recovery from alcoholism has been to work the program of AA. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps (hard), and don’t drink. If you are honest and willing, you will find that contentment.
One warning though, I’ve never seen anyone get the desired effect with anything less than total commitment.
Holy crap that is awful
Post by: cfbandyman on March 10, 2022, 04:30:42 PM
Post by: Pete on March 10, 2022, 04:56:02 PM
Worked the stepsWhat did you do to get fulfillment spiritually? My brother in law literally drank himself to death about a year ago. Early 40's and he just destroyed his liver with alcohol. It took years of heavy drinking and a very long, steady and noticeable decline but he just would not quit. He would not take responsibility for anything in his life, nothing was ever his fault. Very frustrating and difficult to watch. He had a lot of underlying issues, but if nothing is your fault you never have to change...i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
You sound like me before I quit. Alcoholism gets worse, never better…and it always gets worse. There are many recovery methods, but I chose AA. Stanford just completed the largest study to date on that question and found that AA was the most effective ( https://med.stanford.edu/news/all-news/2020/03/alcoholics-anonymous-most-effective-path-to-alcohol-abstinence.html ). To each his own, though. I just passed 7 years this week.
Before I entered AA, I looked for a lot of physical solutions for a spiritual problem. I was bankrupt emotionally and spiritually, and was on a dangerous path physically. “Maybe if I took Xanax?” “Maybe if I worked out more?” “Maybe if I changed my job?” “Maybe if I changed my domestic situation?” None of that rough ridin' crap was the cause. I was the problem, and wherever I went I was there.
For MILLIONS of people the answer to a happy and content life in recovery from alcoholism has been to work the program of AA. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps (hard), and don’t drink. If you are honest and willing, you will find that contentment.
One warning though, I’ve never seen anyone get the desired effect with anything less than total commitment.
Post by: steve dave on March 10, 2022, 08:03:29 PM
Post by: Pete on March 11, 2022, 11:14:15 AM
The doozy of the whole thing is that it’s spiritual program. Not religious; unless that’s your own choice. It’s Spiritual, because we believe that we lack the power to do this stuff all on our own and we need a power greater than ourselves. I personally call that power God, but I don’t belong to any organized religion. We have proven that on our own, our lives had become unmanageable(admitting that’s the second part of step 1, and frankly way more important that simply admitting we were alcoholics). I had two cars in the garage, a good job and 401K and my life was unmanageable…without alcohol I had no desire to live, and alcohol was causing more problems than it was solving. I very literally couldn’t successfully live with it or without it, all by myself.
So, slowly but surely, the steps allow us to change our whole attitude and outlook on life. It happens gradually, and is caused by ACTION. It’s not caused by “learning some stuff.” We say “it works when you work it.” I have to always try to do the next right thing, and when I eff up I am required to make amends promptly. I also am asked to regularly pray and strive to maintain contact with my higher power. I got to meetings, meet with my sponsor, sponsor other guys, lead meeting, and stay in contact with other folks in recovery. All these things help me keep recovery as the number one priority in my life…before my kids, before even God. That may sound backwards, but that’s the way it has to be in order for anything else to be a part of my life.
So, these days I pray constantly, and only ever to ask God to grant me the knowledge of the right thing and will to do it…to “direct my thinking.” I grew up about as Lutheran as it gets…maybe missed dozen sundays in my first 18 years of life…youth groups, acolyte, usher, I did it all. That time of my life is NOTHING compared to the quality of my spiritual life now, and again, I belong to no religion anymore.
As a result of working the steps, I can take a deep breath and know that everything is OK, and it will be OK. I don’t fear death or an afterlife judgment. If one exists, I will be happy to have that conversation with God….and frankly, I suspect God will say “you were rough ridin' it all up there for a while, but you got it in the end!”
Post by: steve dave on March 11, 2022, 11:44:04 AM
Post by: IPA4Me on March 12, 2022, 06:08:05 AM
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Post by: nicname on March 12, 2022, 12:35:27 PM
What an awesome description.
Post by: 420seriouscat69 on March 12, 2022, 01:01:27 PM
Post by: passranch on March 12, 2022, 04:54:42 PM
I am currently taking a 30 day break to see how I feel. So far about two weeks in. I do find that I am sleeping a lot better. :dunno:
Not sure if this is the appropriate thread but...final day of dry January for me. Was surprisingly easy.
:dunno:
Post by: FuzzyWuzzy on March 14, 2022, 03:03:27 PM
looked back at my old posts/post stats and, yikes...
i'm pretty sure I was drunk as a skunk in close to 100% of my past posts and it shows. only <10% of my posts were made between 6am and 5pm(the only hours I would have been sober-ish back then) and ~20% of my posts were made between midnight and 6 am. Many of my posts were just plain incoherent...I even tried to convince folks that a bball player had averaged 1.25 rebounds per possession. It was a real rough time in my life and I handled it terribly.
Anyhow, things are better on this end nowadays, though the pandemic has been tough. I guess I just wanted to offer something of an acknowledgement/apology. Sorry for being a drunk bad person, everyone
Post by: IPA4Me on March 14, 2022, 03:56:10 PM
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Post by: schreds21 on March 17, 2022, 10:39:36 AM
Post by: Pete on March 17, 2022, 11:25:29 AM
Came back to this forum after a long hiatus(since 2012/2013) to celebrate oscar getting forced out. :emawkid:Keep coming back!
looked back at my old posts/post stats and, yikes...
i'm pretty sure I was drunk as a skunk in close to 100% of my past posts and it shows. only <10% of my posts were made between 6am and 5pm(the only hours I would have been sober-ish back then) and ~20% of my posts were made between midnight and 6 am. Many of my posts were just plain incoherent...I even tried to convince folks that a bball player had averaged 1.25 rebounds per possession. It was a real rough time in my life and I handled it terribly.
Anyhow, things are better on this end nowadays, though the pandemic has been tough. I guess I just wanted to offer something of an acknowledgement/apology. Sorry for being a drunk bad person, everyone
Post by: Pete on March 17, 2022, 11:30:20 AM
Quit chewing tobacco cold turkey 6 years ago. Had chewed Copenhagen snuff for about 25 years and was up to 1-1 1/2 cans a day. First month or so really sucked but now I rarely get the urge to take a dip. This year I have given up booze for Lent. I'm pretty much a beer only guy now (my hard liquor days are long behind me, just can't do it anymore) but I do drink plenty of it. My daughter (6 yrs old) is making a Lenten sacrifice for the first time and asked me what I was giving up. I let her decide and she thought I should give up beer (God Dammit). I've always been a lead by example guy so I agreed. Went to a couple of events this weekend where quite a bit of consumption was taking place and it was no big deal. When it has gotten to me is when I've been grilling. Like last night I was grilling some chicken and all I could think about was how I really wanted to be holding/drinking a beer. It was to the point that I was almost anxious about it. Once we ate, all cravings went away. It was just really weird.That’s understandable, and might merely be “habit.” Everyone needs to decide for themselves if they have a problem, but some of the best guidance I have heard is that it has more to do with how much you drink compared to how much you intended to drink, on a given occasion….and not how frequently. If I could drink two 6oz glasses of wine and never more, I would do that every night. I can’t do that. When I drank, I drank more than I wanted to.
Post by: Katpappy on March 17, 2022, 09:37:28 PM
Quit chewing tobacco cold turkey 6 years ago. Had chewed Copenhagen snuff for about 25 years and was up to 1-1 1/2 cans a day. First month or so really sucked but now I rarely get the urge to take a dip. This year I have given up booze for Lent. I'm pretty much a beer only guy now (my hard liquor days are long behind me, just can't do it anymore) but I do drink plenty of it. My daughter (6 yrs old) is making a Lenten sacrifice for the first time and asked me what I was giving up. I let her decide and she thought I should give up beer (God Dammit). I've always been a lead by example guy so I agreed. Went to a couple of events this weekend where quite a bit of consumption was taking place and it was no big deal. When it has gotten to me is when I've been grilling. Like last night I was grilling some chicken and all I could think about was how I really wanted to be holding/drinking a beer. It was to the point that I was almost anxious about it. Once we ate, all cravings went away. It was just really weird.That’s understandable, and might merely be “habit.” Everyone needs to decide for themselves if they have a problem, but some of the best guidance I have heard is that it has more to do with how much you drink compared to how much you intended to drink, on a given occasion….and not how frequently. If I could drink two 6oz glasses of wine and never more, I would do that every night. I can’t do that. When I drank, I drank more than I wanted to.
Pete, I hate to say it, but you may be a candidate for AA membership.
Post by: steve dave on March 17, 2022, 09:42:17 PM
Post by: Katpappy on March 17, 2022, 11:10:47 PM
:facepalm:
Post by: Pete on March 17, 2022, 11:48:32 PM
Oh crap, maybe it would be better if I read to tread before I responded to Pete's post. Maybe I'll take this to the shame yourself thread.
:facepalm:
I got a kick out of this. :lol:
Post by: Trim on March 18, 2022, 12:20:30 AM
Post by: IPA4Me on March 18, 2022, 05:07:05 AM
I had a little alcohol reminiscing on Thursday. Without thinking about the day, I stopped at my favorite wing joint for an early lunch. They had all the TVs on pregame coverage. Had a fleeting thought about sitting there all day watching hoops and slamming pitchers with my buddies. Just smiled to myself. Glad to be sober for another day.
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Post by: pissclams on March 18, 2022, 09:20:52 AM
Post by: Katpappy on March 18, 2022, 12:17:47 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on March 18, 2022, 12:54:30 PM
Post by: IPA4Me on June 01, 2022, 06:06:29 AM
Post by: michigancat on June 01, 2022, 06:52:13 AM
Celebrated two years of sobriety on the 30th by completely forgetting about it. Ha. I just don't think about drinking any longer. Anyhow, here's to another day without alcohol.Congrats man, that's great
Post by: Sandstone Outcropping on June 01, 2022, 09:00:20 AM
Celebrated two years of sobriety on the 30th by completely forgetting about it. Ha. I just don't think about drinking any longer. Anyhow, here's to another day without alcohol.Awesome
Post by: mocat on June 01, 2022, 09:28:04 AM
Post by: Winters on June 01, 2022, 09:29:46 AM
Celebrated two years of sobriety on the 30th by completely forgetting about it. Ha. I just don't think about drinking any longer. Anyhow, here's to another day without alcohol.Very happy for you! Do you need a name change?
Post by: michigancat on July 10, 2022, 02:16:37 PM
the opinion of most people close to them is they need psychiatric help now, but this person denies any problem we're all worried how they will react to the idea of it. Are there any good resources out there for how to approach getting someone help? (for mental health or substance abuse or otherwise)
Post by: Sandstone Outcropping on July 10, 2022, 04:23:17 PM
Post by: stunted on July 10, 2022, 04:39:09 PM
Post by: bucket on July 10, 2022, 06:40:57 PM
this is recovery related so it seems like the best thread for this...I have a family member who we all think is chemically imbalanced, making them act very irrational, paranoid, and deceitful, and they now seem to be medicating through booze and marijuana. I know this person has been prescribed medication for mental health in the past, which helped, but has since stopped.
the opinion of most people close to them is they need psychiatric help now, but this person denies any problem we're all worried how they will react to the idea of it. Are there any good resources out there for how to approach getting someone help? (for mental health or substance abuse or otherwise)
There isn't a person associated to your friend that could talk about the benefits they've received from seeing psychiatrist?
Post by: Pete on July 10, 2022, 08:31:47 PM
this is recovery related so it seems like the best thread for this...I have a family member who we all think is chemically imbalanced, making them act very irrational, paranoid, and deceitful, and they now seem to be medicating through booze and marijuana. I know this person has been prescribed medication for mental health in the past, which helped, but has since stopped.I reacted pretty poorly the first time someone (my dad and mom) suggested I had a problem. About 10 years later I was required to go to a counselor and therapy etc. Then, about 3 after that I quit drinking and started therapy and a recovery program and junk.
the opinion of most people close to them is they need psychiatric help now, but this person denies any problem we're all worried how they will react to the idea of it. Are there any good resources out there for how to approach getting someone help? (for mental health or substance abuse or otherwise)
So, I think planting those seeds is a good idea, but would temper your expectations about how quickly it will grow.
Post by: michigancat on July 11, 2022, 09:23:52 AM
this is recovery related so it seems like the best thread for this...I have a family member who we all think is chemically imbalanced, making them act very irrational, paranoid, and deceitful, and they now seem to be medicating through booze and marijuana. I know this person has been prescribed medication for mental health in the past, which helped, but has since stopped.
the opinion of most people close to them is they need psychiatric help now, but this person denies any problem we're all worried how they will react to the idea of it. Are there any good resources out there for how to approach getting someone help? (for mental health or substance abuse or otherwise)
There isn't a person associated to your friend that could talk about the benefits they've received from seeing psychiatrist?
there are, but this person has been fighting with family and not really listening to people.
I think seeds have been planted? My wife thinks an "intervention" is needed but I don't think that will work too well.
Post by: IPA4Me on August 21, 2022, 06:25:53 AM
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Post by: Sandstone Outcropping on August 21, 2022, 07:10:46 AM
Moving to Louisiana pine country next weekend. There are five meetings all week in the entire county. This makes me nervous. Not every meeting is a fit for everybody. I loathe online meetings. My alcoholic brain is in a tizzy. I won't drink over it but it is making me restless.Stay strong and healthy.
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Post by: Kat Kid on August 21, 2022, 07:26:25 AM
Moving to Louisiana pine country next weekend. There are five meetings all week in the entire county. This makes me nervous. Not every meeting is a fit for everybody. I loathe online meetings. My alcoholic brain is in a tizzy. I won't drink over it but it is making me restless.Do you have a good sponsor from your current location? Regular Phone calls checking in can be helpful from what I have seen, both for the sponsor and the other person in recovery.
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Post by: michigancat on August 21, 2022, 07:30:34 AM
Post by: Pete on August 21, 2022, 09:10:40 AM
Moving to Louisiana pine country next weekend. There are five meetings all week in the entire county. This makes me nervous. Not every meeting is a fit for everybody. I loathe online meetings. My alcoholic brain is in a tizzy. I won't drink over it but it is making me restless.I changed groups last year, due to a lot of changes in my prior group that I had no control over. I was used to my cadre of old timers that cheered me up. I had to change my mindset to be that I go to the new meetings to add something for others and not to get anything out of it. Actually ends up being even better that way (most of the time) for me….I end up getting even more out of it. That mindset change was a big deal for me.
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Volunteer to lead one, or to add a meeting to the existing place’s current list of meetings.
Lastly, ask around about “where are good meetings” and if it means that you need to drive one county over once a week, whatever. Get some shopping done or grab a bite to eat after it and make it an outing once week to mix it up.
Post by: IPA4Me on August 21, 2022, 09:49:52 AM
Moving to Louisiana pine country next weekend. There are five meetings all week in the entire county. This makes me nervous. Not every meeting is a fit for everybody. I loathe online meetings. My alcoholic brain is in a tizzy. I won't drink over it but it is making me restless.Do you have a good sponsor from your current location? Regular Phone calls checking in can be helpful from what I have seen, both for the sponsor and the other person in recovery.
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I do. Unfortunately he's stage four lung cancer and pretty damn weak these days. I do have friends in the program that I can call if I get too spun.
Why are you moving? I thought you had a decent amount of land in Kentucky?
Liquidated. Moving to Louisiana to care for my parents.
Moving to Louisiana pine country next weekend. There are five meetings all week in the entire county. This makes me nervous. Not every meeting is a fit for everybody. I loathe online meetings. My alcoholic brain is in a tizzy. I won't drink over it but it is making me restless.I changed groups last year, due to a lot of changes in my prior group that I had no control over. I was used to my cadre of old timers that cheered me up. I had to change my mindset to be that I go to the new meetings to add something for others and not to get anything out of it. Actually ends up being even better that way (most of the time) for me….I end up getting even more out of it. That mindset change was a big deal for me.
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Volunteer to lead one, or to add a meeting to the existing place’s current list of meetings.
Lastly, ask around about “where are good meetings” and if it means that you need to drive one county over once a week, whatever. Get some shopping done or grab a bite to eat after it and make it an outing once week to mix it up.
My sponsor suggested starting a meeting if I didn't find one that works for me. I'm a morning person. Every meeting in the county is at lunch or 8p. So there is opportunity to fill a need for others and myself. I like the mindset rewire and traveling idea.
Thanks gang. Putting things out there always helps, too!
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Post by: Pete on August 21, 2022, 09:58:17 AM
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Post by: Pete on August 21, 2022, 09:59:57 AM
Post by: MakeItRain on August 22, 2022, 06:02:50 PM
I think you will be fine, IPA.
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Let's do lunch!
Post by: Pete on August 22, 2022, 08:39:10 PM
You moved?!?! Or just a summer gig? Where will you be?I think you will be fine, IPA.
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Let's do lunch!
Post by: MakeItRain on August 22, 2022, 08:58:12 PM
You moved?!?! Or just a summer gig? Where will you be?I think you will be fine, IPA.
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Let's do lunch!
I'm now here every May-September, Brainerd Lakes Region
Post by: Pete on August 22, 2022, 09:04:49 PM
Holy crap, I’m right between Backus and Hackensack. I will give you a shout!You moved?!?! Or just a summer gig? Where will you be?I think you will be fine, IPA.
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Let's do lunch!
I'm now here every May-September, Brainerd Lakes Region
Post by: Institutional Control on August 22, 2022, 09:12:04 PM
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Post by: ben ji on August 22, 2022, 09:33:25 PM
You guys are making those town/lake names up. Can’t be real.Those are very upper Midwest names and I imagine them being pronounced with a Fargo accent.
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Post by: MakeItRain on August 23, 2022, 12:57:06 AM
Holy crap, I’m right between Backus and Hackensack. I will give you a shout!You moved?!?! Or just a summer gig? Where will you be?I think you will be fine, IPA.
Also, somewhat like what IPA said, next summer (and hopefully every summer thereafter) I am spending several months in rural northern Minnesota and there are not a ton of meetings. My current group in Joco has probably double the meetings than the entire county in MN has in a week.
I visit up there frequently, and have checked out different groups and have a plan on how to stay active. A couple I will hit just because they are close and convenient, and there is one about 45 minutes away that is really big and a great community and I plan to hit that one on a weekend morning regularly each week. I will shoot for 2-3 per week, with the weekended being the “can’t miss” and the others being some I work in and try out new ones and stuff during the week in the evenings.
At this point for me the “not drinking” is way easier than it was in the early years. For me it’s so much more about staying spiritually fit, being loving and tolerant in my conduct with others, and letting go of resentments. Man, I just want to be reasonably happy in this life, and not-drinking and actively working a behavior modification program is the key for me. But yeah, above all, I need to not drink.
Let's do lunch!
I'm now here every May-September, Brainerd Lakes Region
Meet in Pine River! Have you had A-Pine in Jenkins? It's aight but definitely overrated.
Post by: star seed 7 on January 23, 2023, 05:07:22 PM
To continue the meds discussion, how does one go about getting back on an anti-depressant prescription? I don't have a regular doctor or anything. In the past I've had family friends available to write the script, but that's not an option now. The last time I went through Lafene when I was in school 7 years ago or so. This particular med was the first of probably 6 prior that I felt did anything beyond noticeable side effects. I was broke at the time and it was something like $250 a month without insurance so I stopped after 4 months or so. I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
I would suggest scheduling a regular health checkup with a general practitioner and mentioning all of this in detail. They may write you a prescription or refer you to a psychiatrist.
Psychotherapy may also be an option but I've found it's really difficult to find in-network therapists these days. May be different in KC.
My wife had really good luck with betterhelp.com doing virtual therapy. Out of network but relatively cheap and she likes it more than in-person therapists she's met with.
Well, it's two years later but today I had my first primary care appointment since I was in high school and got a script for the meds I wanted. Never give up on your goals.
Post by: Pete on January 23, 2023, 06:46:19 PM
Eye of the tigerTo continue the meds discussion, how does one go about getting back on an anti-depressant prescription? I don't have a regular doctor or anything. In the past I've had family friends available to write the script, but that's not an option now. The last time I went through Lafene when I was in school 7 years ago or so. This particular med was the first of probably 6 prior that I felt did anything beyond noticeable side effects. I was broke at the time and it was something like $250 a month without insurance so I stopped after 4 months or so. I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
I would suggest scheduling a regular health checkup with a general practitioner and mentioning all of this in detail. They may write you a prescription or refer you to a psychiatrist.
Psychotherapy may also be an option but I've found it's really difficult to find in-network therapists these days. May be different in KC.
My wife had really good luck with betterhelp.com doing virtual therapy. Out of network but relatively cheap and she likes it more than in-person therapists she's met with.
Well, it's two years later but today I had my first primary care appointment since I was in high school and got a script for the meds I wanted. Never give up on your goals.
Post by: michigancat on January 23, 2023, 07:00:32 PM
Nice. Also better help eventually sucked and it was revealed as pretty problematicTo continue the meds discussion, how does one go about getting back on an anti-depressant prescription? I don't have a regular doctor or anything. In the past I've had family friends available to write the script, but that's not an option now. The last time I went through Lafene when I was in school 7 years ago or so. This particular med was the first of probably 6 prior that I felt did anything beyond noticeable side effects. I was broke at the time and it was something like $250 a month without insurance so I stopped after 4 months or so. I'd like to give it a try again now that I have insurance and am not broke.
I would suggest scheduling a regular health checkup with a general practitioner and mentioning all of this in detail. They may write you a prescription or refer you to a psychiatrist.
Psychotherapy may also be an option but I've found it's really difficult to find in-network therapists these days. May be different in KC.
My wife had really good luck with betterhelp.com doing virtual therapy. Out of network but relatively cheap and she likes it more than in-person therapists she's met with.
Well, it's two years later but today I had my first primary care appointment since I was in high school and got a script for the meds I wanted. Never give up on your goals.
Post by: Katpappy on January 23, 2023, 07:19:18 PM
Post by: cfbandyman on January 24, 2023, 02:09:55 PM
good for you on the therapy cfb
thanks man, it's been too long coming, and while I'm trying to temper my expectations, and I know it's going to be work, but just actually having something set up has made me the most hopeful for anything in years.
Crazy that it's been over a year since I started therapy. It hasn't been a perfect ride, but I have been very grateful to have started and continue. I think the best part for me has been learning to stop beating myself up over mistakes and transgressions, and then through it all have support from friends and family about it. Like, I definitely have been fighting far too many battles by myself, and to know I have support has been the most positive part of it all, and lucky to have relatively little judgement over it all.
Still a journey, but I feel for the first time in a while not just hopeful, but more, more able to be more comfortable with myself, not beat myself up, not despair as easily, and that I am more capable than I thought of myself. Also being able to more clearly see my life from the outside instead of being stuck inside it, that probably took the most "not therapy by my own journey part" but I don't think I would've been as easily able to get there if being more mindful and caring of myself was made to be a priority. Also being more ok with the journey, the process, helps.
Post by: IPA4Me on January 31, 2023, 10:16:05 PM
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Post by: Cire on January 31, 2023, 10:33:41 PM
I've been sober for almost three years now. When I was in Louisville last weekend, I took my ex wife on a dinner date and told her that I know our divorce was my fault. Talk about lifting a burden. One day at a time.Congratulations on 3 years
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Post by: Stupid Fitz on February 01, 2023, 09:07:51 AM
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 01, 2023, 10:27:28 AM
I've been sober for almost three years now. When I was in Louisville last weekend, I took my ex wife on a dinner date and told her that I know our divorce was my fault. Talk about lifting a burden. One day at a time.
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Dang bud. Those are some big boy pants you got on. Nice work
Post by: Dugout DickStone on February 01, 2023, 10:30:17 AM
I just completed dry January aside from one day. I had a good reason you judgmental sons of bitches :shakesfist: :shakesfist: :shakesfist: Anywho, it honestly felt pretty great. I wouldn't say i'm a huge drinker on the norm, but I will have 1-3 beers a few times a week. Maybe a couple more on a weekend if something is going on. I really didn't miss it a ton. There were a couple of weekend things where everyone else was drinking that were kind of weird. I discovered a few non alcoholic beers that were actually pretty good. I could have like one of those and was fine with it. I def slept a ton better this month which I knew would happen. I also discovered that I prob like food more. I always loved to eat, but try to keep pretty fit so I've always ate healthy. Not having all those booze calories gave me some leeway to snack a bit more, which was great. Not sure how much this will affect my overall booze habits, but I'll prob at least try and cut back and maybe try and do another booze free month during the year.
Did same with a few days (chiefs/cats) of minor dampness. Sleep is really one of the benefits.
Post by: star seed 7 on February 01, 2023, 10:33:11 AM
I've been sober for almost three years now. When I was in Louisville last weekend, I took my ex wife on a dinner date and told her that I know our divorce was my fault. Talk about lifting a burden. One day at a time.
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Nice work man
Post by: nicname on February 01, 2023, 11:00:49 AM
Post by: cfbandyman on February 01, 2023, 11:12:58 AM
I just completed dry January aside from one day. I had a good reason you judgmental sons of bitches :shakesfist: :shakesfist: :shakesfist: Anywho, it honestly felt pretty great. I wouldn't say i'm a huge drinker on the norm, but I will have 1-3 beers a few times a week. Maybe a couple more on a weekend if something is going on. I really didn't miss it a ton. There were a couple of weekend things where everyone else was drinking that were kind of weird. I discovered a few non alcoholic beers that were actually pretty good. I could have like one of those and was fine with it. I def slept a ton better this month which I knew would happen. I also discovered that I prob like food more. I always loved to eat, but try to keep pretty fit so I've always ate healthy. Not having all those booze calories gave me some leeway to snack a bit more, which was great. Not sure how much this will affect my overall booze habits, but I'll prob at least try and cut back and maybe try and do another booze free month during the year.
Did same with a few days (chiefs/cats) of minor dampness. Sleep is really one of the benefits.
I did fairly week except for the last week(end) slid back. Not so great, but yeah that 2.5 weeks was really nice and sleep was really good.
The work to go is just to keep it on off times.
IPA just killing the 12 steps like an absolute boss and a half.
He's crushing it and proud of him
Post by: mocat on February 01, 2023, 11:26:43 AM
Post by: Pete on February 01, 2023, 11:53:53 AM
I've been sober for almost three years now. When I was in Louisville last weekend, I took my ex wife on a dinner date and told her that I know our divorce was my fault. Talk about lifting a burden. One day at a time.
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Very good work.
Post by: passranch on February 01, 2023, 04:27:36 PM
Finally...Congrats IPA on your 3 year chip! That's really fantastic!
Post by: steve dave on February 01, 2023, 05:37:50 PM
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Post by: steve dave on February 01, 2023, 05:40:11 PM
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Post by: schreds21 on February 01, 2023, 11:27:39 PM
Post by: Pete on February 02, 2023, 07:18:00 AM
Also I have an employee who was in a really bad place and she is 100 days sober now and doing daily meetings and I’m incredibly happy for her. It’s saved her life imo.
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This is great news.
Post by: Stupid Fitz on February 02, 2023, 09:14:29 AM
I didn’t do dry January but committed to not drinking on weekdays which I get is pud but I’ve been doing it whenever I felt like for like 20+ years. Only Friday and/or Saturday. Worked out well enough and probably going to stick to that for calorie savings. Will be tougher during baseball season with the other baseball coaches and families so may make exceptions for that. We’ll see.
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after going a month, i'm hoping to limit my weekly boozing too. I love sunday beers while cooking though. It was a good experiment overall and I will def think about it more. May just have a beer and if I want another, grab a 70 cal non alcohol IPA or something instead. Just doing that will save tons of calories over a year.
Post by: mocat on February 02, 2023, 10:07:05 AM
Post by: Gooch on February 02, 2023, 11:08:37 AM
Post by: star seed 7 on February 02, 2023, 11:15:40 AM
I've had maybe 5 booze drinks in the last 6 months. Not a conscious decision either. I just kind of stopped organically.
October is the last I remember for me. Booze was never really my main vice though :bong:
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 12:35:23 PM
I will always have to closely watch myself and be honest about whether I am simply “relaxing” or “escaping.”
THE MOST IMPORTANT thing for me is that this is the 8th anniversary of me no longer wanting blow my own head off.
I still average 2 - 3 recovery meetings a week. I need at least that to maintain serenity and emotional sobriety…it helps me appreciate life.
I would very, very, very, very strongly recommend AGAINST using any mood altering drugs when you enter recovery of any sort. Time will tell if my recent choice is a bad move or not, but I will say that it took me years to approach some level of being able to live life on life’s terms. I don’t ever discuss weed with others in recovery. I only mention it here, because many of you know me outside of recovery and know that I partake in weed now and I want to be honest about my process.
go cats, fear the beard
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 12:37:04 PM
Post by: star seed 7 on March 08, 2023, 01:02:04 PM
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 01:05:59 PM
It really hit home, and was a big part of me taking steps to get healthier.
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 01:06:58 PM
I'm certainly glad you did not do that.I greatly value you saying that.
Post by: Stupid Fitz on March 08, 2023, 01:33:38 PM
I'm certainly glad you did not do that.I greatly value you saying that.
Great work Pete. I'm happy you are here and are my internet pal. I tell my wife all the time that you never know what type of crap is going on in other people's heads. I'm glad you were able to fight off the demons and hopefully you speaking about it helps someone else. Go Cats :emawkid:
Post by: mocat on March 08, 2023, 01:42:22 PM
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 01:53:47 PM
Also, I know for a rough ridin' fact that if I took a drink I’d be back to passing out in my recliner every night and hating existence within 2 weeks, tops. Zero doubt about that.
Post by: 'taterblast on March 08, 2023, 02:36:15 PM
i think i need to take a break and consider giving up alcohol for the rest of my life. that's incredibly hard to say. my problem isn't how often i drink, it's that once i start there's no stopping me until i black out. it's been this way for damn near 20 years now. it's the same vicious cycle of getting too drunk, feeling like crap about it, and then completely forgetting it happened two weeks later. it is affecting my marriage. i feel so awkward typing this out but i spend every day on this #blog so it felt like the right place to put it.
Pete motivated me to provide an update here. I never said thank you to those that voiced their support in this thread - but I do very much appreciate those that reached out. Since this post - I did not give up alcohol, but continued to address my issues with lacking control in certain situations. I'm still fully capable of going out and getting blasted, but it just doesn't happen like it used to - partly because of getting older and having different priorities, but also just because of finally getting to the point of admitting that I have a problem with overconsumption and being open about it. I'm at a good spot with my wife on this too, she's my ultimate partner on this. Constant communication about struggles, triggers, etc. She has been a huge help. It will never be something I can say I've "solved," but at this moment in time I feel good about it.
Post by: Pete on March 08, 2023, 02:40:33 PM
Post by: schreds21 on March 08, 2023, 07:50:02 PM
Post by: pissclams on March 08, 2023, 08:19:01 PM
Post by: Tobias on March 08, 2023, 10:29:30 PM
Post by: Institutional Control on March 10, 2023, 08:53:33 AM
A couple of months ago my buddy’s wife left him and took the kids 1200 miles away because of his drinking. He recently stayed the weekend with me and would begin drinking vodka as soon as he woke up. My first inclination was to mock him and that had no effect, obviously. The next day I tired discussing what I could do to help to get his life in order and he insisted he had it under control. Is there anything I can do to help if he doesn’t want it?
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It's hard to believe this post was from over a year ago. To update, my buddy lost his job 3 months ago. But, thankfully, he checked into rehab this week.
Post by: Pete on March 10, 2023, 09:22:35 AM
A couple of months ago my buddy’s wife left him and took the kids 1200 miles away because of his drinking. He recently stayed the weekend with me and would begin drinking vodka as soon as he woke up. My first inclination was to mock him and that had no effect, obviously. The next day I tired discussing what I could do to help to get his life in order and he insisted he had it under control. Is there anything I can do to help if he doesn’t want it?
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It's hard to believe this post was from over a year ago. To update, my buddy lost his job 3 months ago. But, thankfully, he checked into rehab this week.
That's great to hear. Everyone has their own "bottom," and its rough ridin' heartbreaking watching them try and find it.
Post by: TheHamburglar on January 09, 2024, 03:24:56 PM
I took lexapro for about 9 years and it helped A TON but I had a breakdown in July/august
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I started taking this 3 months ago after years of “encouragement” from my wife to try something.
I just have to say holy crap is this better. I should have done this a long time ago. If you’re on the fence like I was, at least go have a conversation with a doctor about it.