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General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: DQ12 on August 06, 2019, 12:36:11 PM
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I have a strong opinion on this, but I want to see what Ape Room thinks.
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I could. You could not.
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What kind of wolf?
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what are the conditions of the contest?
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It's listed in the poll. 1 average sized adult male gray wolf in a gladiatorial arena. no weapons. last one alive wins.
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No doubt in my mind that I would win
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The average sized adult male gray wolf is about 5 feet long and weighs about 100 pounds, so if you can beat up a 7th grader you can beat up a gray wolf.
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It's listed in the poll. 1 average sized adult male gray wolf in a gladiatorial arena. no weapons. last one alive wins.
is the wolf trying to fight or to run? if neither of us attack the other, is that ruled a victory for the wolf?
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It's listed in the poll. 1 average sized adult male gray wolf in a gladiatorial arena. no weapons. last one alive wins.
is the wolf trying to fight or to run? if neither of us attack the other, is that ruled a victory for the wolf?
For the sake of this hypothetical, the wolf wants to kill you.
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i learned a lot from fighting cows. i think i can take one of these puds
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what is the wolf's record vs humans prior to this match?
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bare-handed? No. With gloves? A strong yes.
Therefore I will be voting Wolf wins.
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Kinda sounds like a euphemism for masturbating.
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i think the wolf wins 8 or 9 out of 10.
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what is the wolf's record vs humans prior to this match?
0-0-0. Same for you. No training with wolves prior this match. You can do research though and train in other ways.
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i think the wolf wins 8 or 9 out of 10.
more if the human is barefoot. maybe slightly less if the human has heavy boots on.
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0-0-0. Same for you. No training with wolves prior this match. You can do research though and train in other ways.
is the wolf young and healthy? is it a wild wolf or captive? how much experience does it have in killing large mammals?
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a wolf's god given weakness you must exploit: the tail
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Maybe the human knows karate.
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the part you must avoid: the mouth
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0-0-0. Same for you. No training with wolves prior this match. You can do research though and train in other ways.
is the wolf young and healthy? is it a wild wolf or captive? how much experience does it have in killing large mammals?
The wolf is an average adult male in the wild. He has as much experience killing large mammals as the average adult male in the wild has.
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i think the wolf wins 8 or 9 out of 10.
more if the human is barefoot. maybe slightly less if the human has heavy boots on.
You are naked.
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Naked? I don't think I could kill anything naked.
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you don't even get to cover your privates? are there spectators? this could work against the human psyche.
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if the human is naked the wolf should have to shave its tail
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you don't even get to cover your dong and balls? are there spectators? this could work against the human psyche.
No, naked. Nobody is watching the arena. You go in clothed but you must disrobe prior to the fight. You can retrieve your clothes if you win before exiting.
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environmental conditions? are we talking august in kansas weather?
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nakedness changes things. still haven't gotten enough data to make my informed vote yet, but now leaning wolf.
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environmental conditions? are we talking august in kansas weather?
environmental factors are not an impact. moderate temperature. clear conditions. natural grass surface.
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dang, i was hoping for august in kansas because his teeth would slide right off my skin as it poured out a constant waterfall of sweat
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nakedness changes things. still haven't gotten enough data to make my informed vote yet, but now leaning wolf.
yeah, especially natural grass against naked body. yuck. i'd get too itchy to fight.
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Uh naked should have been specified up front
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dang, i was hoping for august in kansas because his teeth would slide right off my skin as it poured out a constant waterfall of sweat
Use olive oil like those wierd Italian wrestlers
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I think I could get the wolf to be buds.
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Wolf every time six foot average spread between front left paw and right rear paw 260-290 average weight in Northern Mn nope not with out my what did we call it twin predator Vap gun?
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Or maybe they are Greek. Can't remember.
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Wolf every time six foot average spread between front left paw and right rear paw 260-290 average weight in Northern Mn nope not with out my what did we call it twin predator Vap gun?
Average gray wolf is about 100 pounds.
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I think I could get the wolf to be buds.
yeah by him chomping on your dong and berries
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I think I could get the wolf to be buds.
yeah by him chomping on your dong and berries
Berry, bad person.
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I think I could get the wolf to be buds.
yeah by him chomping on your dong and berries
Berry, bad person.
oh crap, my bad bud
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I think people are underestimating how hard it would be for the wolf to kill you.
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my answer is yes. i would poison the wolf and wouldn't have to lay a hand on it.
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my answer is yes. i would poison the wolf and wouldn't have to lay a hand on it.
You are thoroughly searched prior to entering the arena. No poison allowed.
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Wolf every time six foot average spread between front left paw and right rear paw 260-290 average weight in Northern Mn nope not with out my what did we call it twin predator Vap gun?
Average gray wolf is about 100 pounds.
Don’t let facts cloud the issue we just might get a twitter feed and one our own to actually try this!
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You are naked.
the wolf wins 19 out of 20.
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I think people are underestimating how hard it would be for the wolf to kill you.
Yeah probably. Wolves prey on like children and the elderly. They get their asses whipped against most healthy adult animals
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what's the main strategy here? wait for the wolf to get up on you and then hope you can choke his ass out before he completely mangles your nutz and scrote?
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This has turned into a weird cosplay fantasy of Dlew's. Surprised @Katdaddy isn't in here yet
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I think eye-gouging should be part of the strategy. And putting the wolf in a headlock.
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Also pounding the wolf in the head with your fist.
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I would just lay down on my back and then the wolf would be like every other dog on earth and try to lick my face so then when it tries to do that I'll just reach up and snap it's neck. Ez
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You are naked.
the wolf wins 19 out of 20.
does a 5% chance count as "could"?
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you're gonna have to kill the wolf in the first 30 seconds. any longer than that, the wolf will wear you down or you'll bleed to death from the spot your balls used to reside.
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The play is to put out your forearm, let the wolf bite that, then hug the wolf with your free arm, fall over on top of it. At this point the wolf will let go of your arm and try to escape your weight. Do not let him escape. Instead, jam your fist down the wolf's mouth/throat. Keep fist there. Wait for wolf to sufficate.
You'll be extremely cut up, but you will defeat the wolf.
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yeah, I can curl 100lbs. This little pud would be lucky to draw blood. I can avoid the mouth, I'd actually be more worried about the toenails when he does that frantic 4 legged running in place thing he'd do when I got my arms around his neck. I'd have to try and snap it versus the suffocation
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Idea: spin kicks
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I'd actually be more worried about the toenails when he does that frantic 4 legged running in place thing he'd do when I got my arms around his neck.
Yeah the scratches would be a pain in the ass. Mind over matter with that though. Gotta focus on the task at hand.
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Piss on or near the wolf to assert your dominance. Keep direct eye contact with him to let him know you're the true alpha and you mean business. Do NOT blink. Within a few seconds he'll be whimpering and you could easily finish him at this point.
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can you have a friend use a drone to drop a vial of poison down into the arena after you have been searched by the guards and then poison the wolf? i think i've watched a dateline about this technique once.
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The line to console mrs. Hamburg starts to the left. She’ll be getting a couple large life insurance checks shortly.
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The line to console mrs. Hamburg starts to the left. She’ll be getting a couple large life insurance checks shortly.
If you die fighting a wolf you won't be getting crap.
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can you have a friend use a drone to drop a vial of poison down into the arena after you have been searched by the guards and then poison the wolf? i think i've watched a dateline about this technique once.
There is a mesh net above the surface to prevent this sort of thing.
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ok so if you're basically banning any of my poisoning techniques, i would hypnotize the wolf into a docile state and then eliminate my adversary
step 1: calm environment
step 2: gentle touch
step 3: soothing sounds
step 4: holding position
step 5: tonic state
https://www.rover.com/blog/how-to-hypnotize-a-dog/
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I could take this wolf but 30-50 feral hogs is another story
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ok so if you're basically banning any of my poisoning techniques, i would hypnotize the wolf into a docile state and then eliminate my adversary
step 1: calm environment
step 2: gentle touch
step 3: soothing sounds
step 4: holding position
step 5: tonic state
https://www.rover.com/blog/how-to-hypnotize-a-dog/
That's a good plan.
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I would win by using my army of bees.
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To answer the OP’s question: probably not.
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yeah i think i could kill one.
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With bear hands? Absolutely.
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Yes worked on these cousins just fine. There is 392 dollars worth of pure Russian trim laying right there not a bad mornings check! It’s my thing don’t ask.
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bare handed? No
With a baseball bat? Absolutely, would be dinger city.
FYI I'm pretty sure we had a similar thread a couple of years ago where we predicted how many of a certain animal we could kill at 1 time.
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Secret weapon: PCP and bath salts prior to entering the arena
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Secret weapon: PCP and bath salts prior to entering the arena
both combatants get them tho
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Poison the wolf's bath salts.
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Your best chance would be to “King Kong” the wolf. Obviously that means when the wolf lunges at you with his mouth open like an idiot you grab his top snout with one hand and his bottom jaw with the other hand and pull them apart until it breaks his jaw, face and head wide open. Very gruesome but effective.
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The play is to put out your forearm, let the wolf bite that, then hug the wolf with your free arm, fall over on top of it. At this point the wolf will let go of your arm and try to escape your weight. Do not let him escape. Instead, jam your fist down the wolf's mouth/throat. Keep fist there. Wait for wolf to sufficate.
You'll be extremely cut up, but you will defeat the wolf.
Nice fantasy, wolf could easily snap the largest bone in your body in one bite. Sorry, you lose. :horrorsurprise:
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With bear hands? Absolutely.
Wait, are you talking Bear's hands with full set of claws?!!!
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Your best chance would be to “King Kong” the wolf. Obviously that means when the wolf lunges at you with his mouth open like an idiot you grab his top snout with one hand and his bottom jaw with the other hand and pull them apart until it breaks his jaw, face and head wide open. Very gruesome but effective.
You're one tuff bastard, _33!