goemaw.com

General Discussion => Essentially Flyertalk => Topic started by: j rake on January 12, 2011, 11:05:28 AM

Title: Birthday cards
Post by: j rake on January 12, 2011, 11:05:28 AM
Why do birthday cards always have to be so over the top and complimentary?

"To the BEST grandma!"
"To the warmest, kindest, greatest grandma ever!"
"To the grandma who has taught me EVERYTHING!"

None of these things describe my grandma. She's actually kind of a cold person. We aren't particularly close, but we still exchange all the usual pleasantries on our birthdays — a phone call and, yep, a card.

But it's impossible to choose a card because none of them come even remotely close to describing her. I usually just cross out words on cards and then change them to my own words so that they are a little closer. For instance, if it says, "Grandma, you are an amazing person and you are always there for me," I will change it to, "Grandma, you are an interesting human being and you are sometimes there for family members that aren't me."

I'm tired of doing that, though, and it would be nice if I could find a card that is a little closer to reality, something like, "To a mediocre grandma," or, "To a pretty decent grandma overall."

Maybe I should just send flowers?
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: Saulbadguy on January 12, 2011, 11:07:02 AM

I'm tired of doing that, though, and it would be nice if I could find a card that is a little closer to reality, something like, "To a mediocre grandma," or, "To a pretty decent grandma overall."

Sounds like a pretty good business opportunity. 
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: steve dave on January 12, 2011, 11:07:26 AM
Maybe you tell your grandma to quit being such a bitch and start earning her cards
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: j rake on January 12, 2011, 11:09:32 AM
Sounds like a pretty good business opportunity. 

Hey, you might be right.

MODS! PLEASE DELETE THIS THREAD BEFORE PEOPLE STEAL MY IDEA!!!
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: Poster formerly known as jthutch on January 12, 2011, 11:16:54 AM
j rake you just made my posters I enjoy reading list. NTYGAF (not that you give a eff)
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: CNS on January 12, 2011, 12:23:02 PM
Rake,

slide down the aisle to the generic card section.  Get one that says "Congrats!!!!",  "Good Job!", or even "Thank You" then simply write "happy b day" on the inside.

Simple, and you don't have to go to the trouble of starting up a new biz(we all know how much of a pain in the ass that is).

Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: WillieWatanabe on January 12, 2011, 12:36:44 PM
Take Brian Regan's advice. Use blank inside cards.
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: j rake on January 12, 2011, 12:49:50 PM
Take Brian Regan's advice. Use blank inside cards.

Not an option. It's Hallmark or bust.
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 12, 2011, 01:44:46 PM
You can make your own card using the state of the art software at the Wal-Mart photo center. Last year I gave my grandmother a card that said

Oh, Grandmother! Please try to enjoy your last few years of cognisance. Happy Birthday.

                                                          (https://goemaw.com/forum/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.hooverwebdesign.com%2Fgraphics%2Fimages%2Fthanksgiving-grandma.gif&hash=4c672a1ab3f9e1b1aa2dcd3f0ba9ec3a2830450c)
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: 'taterblast on January 12, 2011, 02:16:50 PM
don't have this problem. my grandma is rough ridin' awesome.
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: OK_Cat on January 12, 2011, 03:05:49 PM
don't have this problem. my grandma is rough ridin' around on my grandpa.

 :horrorsurprise:
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: Poster formerly known as jthutch on January 12, 2011, 03:12:23 PM
Yeah, both my grandmas are dead.  But they could care less if I gave them a card. 
BTW tell them you are trying to save the planet and don't want to contribute to all the paper greeting card companies are wasting.
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: Rage Against the McKee on January 12, 2011, 03:14:39 PM
Yeah, both my grandmas are dead.  But they could care less if I gave them a card. 
BTW tell them you are trying to save the planet and don't want to contribute to all the paper greeting card companies are wasting.

My grandmother would call me a dirty hippie.
Title: Re: Birthday cards
Post by: CNS on January 12, 2011, 03:24:50 PM
Old people are paranoid of getting dementia.  Don't send her anything then call her a couple days after the day.  Ask her if she got your card, and go on about it for a while.  Lay out some specific sounding details.  She will probably fake that she received it out of shame that she would forget something like that and fear that she is losing it.