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General Discussion => The New Joe Montgomery Birther Pit => Topic started by: BushBlister on May 14, 2016, 10:24:54 PM
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problem:
theres this dude named cordell at school thats scary as crap. he didn't tell me but someone else on friday told me that he was going to beat me up on the last day of school before we get on the bus so i need some advice.
Obviously its to late for me to try to learn karate by next wensday or any other marshall arts so idk wth i should do because i know you cant tell by me typing but im white and kind of chubby and i dont play sports (BUT I LOVE THEM) and cordell is big and black and mean and wants to beat me up for whatever reason
Right now my plan is to take a fanny pack full of sand to school and if he tries to get tough with me i be like HAY HERE'S MY ICE CREAM MONEY JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
and then i reach into my fanny pack of sand and throw it in his eyes and then run away. it would buy me some time and then i could make it until next school year when he goes to high school and hed probably forget about it by next year ANYWAYS and find someone else to pick on by then THOUGHTS?????
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did not work in kickboxer, might want a plan b
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i said i didn't have time to learn karate much less kickboxing unless you know of some kind of kickboxing/karate rosetta stone
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bushblister, bro. you need to watch kickboxer. jcvd gets blinded by the bad guy and still wins his kickboxing match. i'm just saying becareful and have a back up if the blinding thing doesn't work.
have you considered buying a gun?
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actually the blindness thing happens in bloodsport and not kickboxer (source: just watched bloodsport on netflix)
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Smear fresh feces all over your fat face right before the showdown, he'll leave you alone :thumbsup:
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man u dont have to be a dick im not going to put feces on my face i just want some FIGHT ADVICE
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have you tried eating spinach? it works for popeye whenever he has to fight bluto.
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I'm surprised no one had told him the obvious yet:
You need to stab this guy. I'd go for the knee, personally.
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you havent seen cordell hes huge i think stabbing him wont work itll just make him mad and spinach is fine for fighting pluto but pluto is white and fat cordell is BLACK AND MUCLEY IM NOT SURE HOW I CAN BE MORE CLEAR ABOUT THAT
plus if i stab him ill get suspended for having a knife at school and if i get suspended on the last day im betting my grandma will take away my laptop and then its like BYE BYE GO EMAW
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well, thanks to the new horizons spacecraft, we now know that pluto is mostly brown, with just a little bit of white.
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Plant the knife on him, turn him in
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Maybe MIR knows Cordell and can be a mediator in the situation?
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man u dont have to be a dick im not going to put feces on my face i just want some FIGHT ADVICE
Didn't mean to be a dick, just trying to give you some advice that would legitimately save you from being pummeled. Call me a dick again and you won't have to worry about Cordell tho :gocho:
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Tell him to post here
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Make yourself vomit when you are losing
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Just pack a super-delicious lunch. Include some non-prepackaged pudding or jello, but put Ipecac syrup in it. When he demands your lunch, give it up freely. He'll be on his way home within an hour and you won't have to deal with him all summer.
Plus, you'll be able to brag to all your friends how you pulled one over on a bully.
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nicname is winning this so far.
Gonna win 'em all! (using Tapatalk)
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Biting is very effective at making people stop but you can't half-ass it, you have to clamp down with the intent to tear all the way through.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX6M7-rAFJE
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Leave early
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Just kick him in the wallies as hard as you can.
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Fighting is all about attitude, IMO. You have got to fight like you have nothing to lose. In the beginning of a fight both people are throwing blows, more focused on hurting their opponent than defending themselves. Then, there is usually a turning point where one guy starts to lose the will to win and becomes solely focused on not getting hurt. That person usually loses and gets hurt. Don't be that person. No matter what keep fighting, keep punching, keep swinging, kicking, biting, scratching, go rough ridin' apeshit on this dude. As long as you don't give up, you know that he will give up first, and you will win.
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Pepper spray?
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I was once told "throw the two most important punches...the first and the last." That's pretty badass advice, don't you think? Seems to mirror what emo said.
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@dobbs a sage once told me "when in a fight, hit first and hit hard."
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Pick your opponent, don't let your opponent pick you. Find a kid you can beat and fight him earlier in the day. You get sent home 1-0
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:Take the Bait:
Pick your opponent, don't let your opponent pick you. Find a kid you can beat and fight him earlier in the day. You get sent home 1-0
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i got to be honest imnot sure that kid exists
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:Take the Bait:Pick your opponent, don't let your opponent pick you. Find a kid you can beat and fight him earlier in the day. You get sent home 1-0
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i got to be honest imnot sure that kid exists
Post an age appropriate pic of the celebrity you most look like. Then, I'll post an age appropriate pic of a celebrity that you could beat up. Lastly, you find a person in your school that looks like the celebrity I post a picture of and you kick their ass.
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Last day of school, huh? Sounds like you're getting sick.
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Biting is very effective at making people stop but you can't half-ass it, you have to clamp down with the intent to tear all the way through.
Did you learn this when you tried to fight that dog at kickball?
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I hope this helps.
http://www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Fist
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You could go to the pool with your new best bud, empty out that fanny pack full of sand on the side of the pool and turn it into a beach.
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Bushblister, you should watch the movie Three O'Clock High. Not only is it an awesome underrated flick, but it will also give you several strategies for attempting to get out of a fight.
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Don't be scared.
Fight him. Everyone should get their ass kicked at least once in their life. Also, if anyone has been in multiple fights and claimed they've never gotten their ass kicked then they are lying to you.
Let us know once you get beat up.
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i like the idea of skipping school that day but were having a homeroom party and im supposed to bring chips also i was thinking about asking out this girl named starla for the movies on the last day because if she says no and then i get beat up its like hey, i was already having a bad day anyway but if she says yes then i get beat up its like, hey i got beat up but at least i get to go see captain amarica with a girl THOUGHTS????
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What if Starla doesn't like guys who get in fights?
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THAN CORDELL DOESNT EVEN STAND A CHANCE WITH HER!!!!
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Have you seen dazed and confused, 'blister? Some great advice on how to avoid an ass whipping in that movie.
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When Cordell comes running at you, use his momentum to throw him in a body slam like on The Goldbergs last night. If you missed The Goldbergs last night, then I am sorry....T's & P's
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Post an age appropriate pic of the celebrity you most look like. Then, I'll post an age appropriate pic of a celebrity that you could beat up. Lastly, you find a person in your school that looks like the celebrity I post a picture of and you kick their ass.
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I get why he wants to beat you up now. :frown:
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your a dang jerk and your not helping!!!! no one asked 4 your opinion ANYWAYS!!!! i dont know many celebritys and dont even know who that guy is i just googled chubby middle school celebrity and thats what came up no need to be a JERK!!!! and that guy doesnt even really look like me ANYWAYS!!!
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bushblister lookalike but a little less awesome.jpg
Does this mean BushBlister is a little less awesome than the guy in the pic or the guy in the pic is a little less awesome than BB?
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your a dang jerk and your not helping!!!! no one asked 4 your opinion ANYWAYS!!!! i dont know many celebritys and dont even know who that guy is i just googled chubby middle school celebrity and thats what came up no need to be a JERK!!!! and that guy doesnt even really look like me ANYWAYS!!!
That guy is one of the most annoying little shits in the history of time. https://www.youtube.com/andymilonakis
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Find this kid at your school and kick his ass..
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I've never lost a fight that I chokeslammed someone. Maybe do that. :dunno:
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It's
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versus
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in a death match beat down. No holds barred. Who wins?
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cordell is a friggin jerk I was walking through the commons after lunch and he said SUH DOO or something like that and punched me in the collarbone
I told the lunchroom super visor and he asked Cordell and Cordell said it was like a playful lunch punch and he was just saying what's up but playful or not it made me fall down and hurt like a ****!!!!!! and he didn't even get in trouble for it I thought that was the cool super visor but apparently not this is going to be the longest week of my life
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AND HE NEVER SAID SORRY
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AND HE NEVER SAID SORRY
Well, maybe you should make him sorry.
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Everyday that you don't kick his ass is just going to make him feel that much more invincible.
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you dont know what that lunch punch felt like
I think he might actually be incincible
And he's black I don't know if I mentioned that
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Does he have like a hundred cousins in school?
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Does he have like a hundred cousins in school?
Star of the middle school football team?
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I know he plays football but I dont know if he's a star or not he plays a lineman or linebacker or something on defense
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Step 1: Punch him back
Step 2: Get your ass kicked
Step 3: Let him move onto a new target now that you fought back (even if it was crappy fighting back)
Step 4:??????????
Step 5: Profit
If step 3 doesn't happen, you should probably just move or transfer schools at that point.
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i cant transfer MMS papooses 4 life
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i cant transfer MMS papooses 4 life
It's 'cause you're white, isn't it? Tell him you're not white; you're clear.
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Just pass
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I'm beginning to understand why Cordell wants to beat this kid up.
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Cordell is just a metaphor for the loneliness bushblister feels about summer break
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no hes real a metaphor couldn't punch me in the commons in front of everyone
Cordell is a hurricane made of fists and elbows and teeth
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no hes real a metaphor couldn't punch me in the commons in front of everyone
Cordell is a hurricane made of fists and elbows and teeth
Look, if you kick him really hard in the balls, you can then pounce on him and pummel him. Surely you are aware of that. The key is to not let him know that you are getting ready to kick him in the balls. Take a punching stance and put up your fists. Tell him to come and get some. When Cordell gets close and pulls back a fist to knock you senseless, that is when you give him a swift kick in the family jewels. I've seen this played out countless times. You got this.
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bushblister is obviously a fraud. school should have been out by now.
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http://lifehacker.com/how-to-get-your-ass-kicked-gracefully-1778164759#_ga=1.32258046.1779815640.1455597763
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bushblister is obviously a fraud. school should have been out by now.
Not most places I don't think...
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no were not out of school yet i had fourth and 6th hour finals today and first and third tomorrow then 2nd and 5th on wednesday and its a half day which i would be exstatic about if i wasn't about to get smashed by an OLDER KID it just means i get beat up 3 hours earlier than
also im really into all this advice about kicking him in the balls cuz that might be the great equalizer but then i got to thinking WHAT IF HE HAS THE SAME PLAN so i went to walmart today and got a jockstrap.
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B^2 it's probably too late for this advice, but in the future, i'd befriend a bunch of jocks. Anytime someone messed with me in HS, I just had my wrestling and football friends take care of it. I was kinda like the godfather, because I never got my hands dirty.
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So has Cordell kicked your ass yet?
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OMG YOU GUYS ARE NOT EVEN GONNA BELIEVE THIS
on wensday i was in 5th hour ceramics and turned in my clay final project which wasnt very good it was a blowfish but all of the spines kept falling off but anyways. i was done with the project at the beginning of the hour and i got my overall final grade which was a 96 whats up and then it was like OH GREAT NOW I HAVE TO SIT HERE FOR ANOTHER HOUR AND A HALF IN THIS JOCKSTRAP WAITING FOR CORDELL TO SMASH ME and then i got called down to receptoin. i was kind of relieved because i thought that maybe the mr. marsh the principle heard about the fight and was going to break it up before it even started but when i got there my grandma was waiting for me and she was like i knew you were done with your finals so SURPRISE WERE TAKING YOU TO GREAT WOLF LODGE!!!!!!
so not only did i get to avoid cordell and i didnt have to ride the bus home after getting beat up i went straight to kansas city and got to ride some sweet waterslides. ive gotta be honest i dont like taking my shirt off in public but there were a lot of other people there that looked a lot like me so i didnt feel to bad also my room was a WOLF DEN which means there was a BUNK BED and wolves painted on the walls that was sweet. i did think it was weird that i slept on the top bunk and grandma slept in the double bed and no on e slept on the bottom bunk but whatever. when we checked in i got some sweet wolf ears to wear around and also they have this thing called majic quest where you get to go around zapping things with a majic want to see if they open. i was also hoping i would get to see a boob fall out when a girl went down a water slide but NO SUCH LUCK but still the trip to gwl was way better then getting beat up by cordell and we got to go to cabellas to.
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also i kinda woosed out with starla because i was going to ask her to go to a movie but that can wait until next year. i did make some progress tho because she dropped her pencil on the ground and i got down on the ground real quick and got it for her it may have been to quick because she said "THAT WAS ENTHUSIASTIC" when i gave it to her but then she laughed and said thanks too.
im thinking that i probably shoudlve said something like IM ALSO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT MOVIES DO YOU WANNA GO WITH ME TO SEE ONE but im not too good at thinking on my feet and i didn't think of that one until way later when we were on the way to kansas city.
also in unrelated news did you know theres a gas station called in kansas city called quick trips and they have a roller grill and on this roller grill they have these THINGS called macaroni and cheese takitos????? THERE AMAZING YOU SHOULD GET SOME IF YOU LIFE IN KC